That’s not what he said at all. He just said that “location” is the highest priority when deciding where to live, and I think I agree with him. If the price is right, the place is nice, and you like the color and design of the place, it’s still not worth it to live there if it’s not convenient. That’s why I don’t think I’d like to live in a suburb, and I’m quite comfortable in my “inner city” neighborhood.
With school, I would disagree depending on the course of study. A choice of engineering at Virginia Tech vs MIT would have me moving northward in a hurry.
Beyond that, there is little outside of the great Commonwealth of Virginia that would have me leave such rich historical, cultural, and visual beauty. Texas would be the only other place I could ever see moving- but that would be because I wanted to go, and not becasue of a job.
Maybe you misunderstood; I’ve lived in 20 different cities in 27 years. I’ve found a place and lifestyle that I truly love on an apartment, then neighborhood, then city scale, and it would take a lot to get me to leave that. There’s nothing small-minded or chicken about it. It’s just about priorities.
I think anytime you let one thing dictate all other things you’re taking an extreme position. Life is a balance. Would I take a great job if it meant living in some hellhole? No, probably not, unless it was so amazingly great and well paid that I only had to anticipate doing it for a short time before I moved on to a better place. Would I move to a place I like less than Toronto for a great job? Quite possibly.
There are lots of places in this world I’d find acceptable (in varying degrees of acceptable) to live. There are commutes I’d find varying degrees of acceptable. There are jobs I’d find varying degrees of acceptable. Right now, I’m fortunate enough to have a job I enjoy with no commute and to live in Toronto, but if I couldn’t have all of those things, I’d have to start looking at how to balance those factors.
I live my neighborhood in Dallas for the same reason. There isn’t any other part of town I’d even consider living in. I have a hellish commute way out to the burbs during the week. But, I drive less than 5 miles during the entire weekend. I’d never live in suburban Hell Dallas.
I don’t think the OP is saying move some place and stay there. I think he’s saying that your lifestyle is going to be directly affected by where you choose to live but people often fail to take that into account. For example the Manhattan lifestyle is very different from the suburban lifestyle.
My brother has been working in a mid-sized city in Middle America. While it was a good career move and he ownes a house, he hates it there compared to his old appartment lifestyle in Boston.
Your choice of grad school should be based on the quality of the school and where you want to live AFTER you graduate. Although if you go to Harvard or Stamford, it probably won’t matter that much where you want to live afterwards.
My wife and I have just gone through this. We were considering moving farther out to get a bigger house for our growing family, but when it came down to it, we didn’t like the exurbs.
It got us thinking about how good we have it in our inner suburb; convenient to public transport/15 minute drive to downtown DC, great school district, walking distance to shops that aren’t big boxes, friends in the neighborhood.
The only thing is that our house is small. We decided a small house in a great location is better than a palatial estate in a less desirable one.
Yeah, I’m with the OP; location is huge for me. I’ve always picked old and central over luxurious but out on the burbs. When I was looking for a house, peopel woudl advise me to buy something affordable out in the burbs and then I could sell it in five years and move back downtown. Screw that, I’m not gonna spend five years of my life battling traffic and living somewhere I don’t want to. If I hadn’t foudn anything in the area where I wanted to move, I would’ve continued to rent.
My only criteria as for where I’m living is “can I get work” - and work that will support the whole family. Period.
Okay, I’m going to semi-agree with the OP and say that it’s not the location but the type of location. I love my neighborhood and my city (Hillcrest Historic District in Little Rock). It’s got the kind of local politics that Stonebow and I find comfortable. It’s a little bit hippie, a bit intellectual, and a whole lot of interest. We are almost in the center of the city, but surrounded by parks, the zoo, fun indie-art stores, cozy coffee shoppes, hip bars, and specialty shoppes, and all the needed amenities (post office, grocery, pharmacy) within walking distance. We’re also within walking distance of UAMS, and a five minute drive to Bowen (where Stonebow is in school).
Thing is, this type of neighborhood can be found in almost any large city. So I could live in any city, once I found “that” neighborhood.
Simply, I don’t care where I live. There are literally thousands of good decent places I am willing to live if the work is interesting. I do prefer warm climates but that only matters a little bit. My career is what it is because of my willingness to uproot and go somewhere else.
I grew up within 50 miles of where I work and live. I have no intention of ever leaving the general vicinity. My family and my husband’s family all live in this area. We have deep roots here. I have a good job in this area.
I work with many people who not only have left their hometowns for their jobs, but their home countries. They came here for education and the advantages thereof. Many of them will and have moved all over the country to further their educations and subsequent careers.
Some of these people do not understand my unwillingness to move. Sometimes I don’t understand their complete devotion to their careers above all else. Which of us is “right”?
I agree. Location is hugely important to me. I admit there’s a lot of the world (hell, of the US) I haven’t seen, but the only places I’ve been that I could imagine ever living are here in SF, Oakland/Berkeley, or Chicago, and even then, in specific (dense, urban) neighborhoods. Who knows what the future holds, but I can’t see myself ever living in a suburb. (I think the need to raise kids in suburbs is a big ol’ pile.)
Adding to my earlier reply, this is a question I’ve thought about before. I think there are two types of people: home centered people and externally focused people.
Home centered people focus on the house and tend to spend their time there. These people are more likely to purchase a large house that’s farther out.
Externally focused people spend more time away from the house and having activities conveniently located make the home less important than the location. They’d opt of a smaller house, condo, or apartment that located near their favored activities.
But people can change over time. The location may be crucial in your twenties when you spend a lot of time out with friends but, once you start having children, you may find the home is where you want to spend your time. Or you may never have been interested in outside activities much, preferring to find a place that’s comfortable but not central. Or vice versa and you raise your kids in the city.
I agree 100% with the OP. While I’m sure I could find a great number of places to live, I have certain requirements. A job or other such situation would have to be incredibly fantastic on a huge scale to make me give up those requirements. My biggest one is that I have to be in reasonable proximity to a swimmable beach. If you offer me a job that requires me to live in Nebraska, you’d better pay me so much that I can take my private jet to my beach house every single weekend.
I understand where you’re coming from, VCO3. I can’t imagine moving for the sake of a job. My family has lived, loved, fought and died in this region for hundreds of years. My roots run deep. I’m not provincial or scared, I just love my home.
I would amend my answer to agree with this…my husband and I would absolutely move if we needed to do so in order to work. We do like Chicago, and can’t imagine leaving it, but other cities would be nice, too, I’m sure. I was referring more to the kind of neighborhood we like to live in.
I wonder if the OP has considered that it’s not only the place that can define the people, but the people that can define the place. By choosing a (new) location, you change that location simply by being there and making choices according to your own criteria.
Maybe the suburb is boring and soulless, but you can bring your own soul. Plus, neighbourhoods change a lot quickly, in the United States anyway. How many American neighbourhoods do you know, whether urban or suburban (in cities anyway), that are same as they were 10 years ago?
I can’t imagine how tragic it would be to pass on amazing opportunities due to geographic limitations. Imagine passing up a chance to go to Harvard because you’d have to move, and instead going to Smallville College of Basket Weaving because that’s the best you get near you.
I have no problems relocating and I always develop strong community ties. NEW strong community ties. If I like a particular type of neighbourhood and lifestyle, then I seek that out in the new place, but I’d never turn down a fabulous opportunity because it required me to move acros the country. I’m sure I could find a comparable neighbourhood to where I live now close to the grad school of my choice.,
The tragedy for me would be to move away from somewhere I love so that I could work at a job that I at best tolerate. Even a fantastic job is still just a way for me to pay for the part of life I find worth living.