The miscommunication on the parking, wardrobe and internet even before she’s moved in show that the OP is NOT ready to be a landlord - I don’t think he’s ready to be a roommate.
You both talked about ‘it’, but you both assumed a whole bunch of stuff and I’m sure you’re just starting to find out what.
Have you discussed (and agreed upon) things like; sharing the bathroom, kitchen, fridge, buying groceries, music & TV, visitors, over-night-guests, pets…???
Change the locks on your doors ASAP. Install a good security system. Put bars over your windows. Change your phone number immediately. These are things any good Christian would do.
If you let this person move into your home your life will be a living hell beginning about ten minutes after you give her the key.
Eh, who cares who’s right or wrong? Just don’t rent to her. She hasn’t even moved in yet, and she’s being a bit of a drama queen. It sounds to me like you dodged a bullet.
FWIW, I put up with reduced amenities for reduced rent and I don’t bitch about it. We rent an independent unit attached to a large home and don’t have a full kitchen or laundry. It’s OK because we’re only paying $550 a month (including utilities), whereas market rents are at least a few hundred more than that and *don’t *include utilities. We would like something better, but until we can afford a nicer place, we don’t complain unless something goes wrong and the place is literally unlivable (like the septic issue we had a few months back :().
Thanks for the help, I see that there are some cultural differences as most of you seem fixated on the internet which, in Australia, is not often included in rent (unless you are paying an unusually large amount of rent). It is also not uncommon to rent an empty room (no cupboard/wardrobe).
I guess the fact is that I offered her something and as time has progressed it has changed. She is free to accept the new offer ($160 without parking) or find some place else to live. I know that I can easily replace her with someone willing to pay $230 for the room (without parking).
My question was whether I should, despite knowing I could rent my car space for $60 and room for $230, allow her to rent both for $160. (I am not asking about legal implications). I suppose I sort of feel that she is ungrateful particularly for trying to make me feel guilty about not having internet (something that I live without at home).
It sounds like you’re not willing to do this, so no.
If you value the money more than you value the good feelings you get from assisting your friend, then go ahead and offer the room to others.
I’m in the USA.
When someone rents a room in a house or condo, I would think not having internet is unusual. If you rent an apartment, house or condo for yourself, it’s very rare to have someone provide you with internet.
I have no idea why anyone would rent a place without a closet. Anywhere, with the exception of a grass hut in a village somewhere or a 16th century English estate, I would think would have a closet. Do Australian residences really not have closets?
I think your expectation that you can change the terms of a deal at whim is going to be a problem with anyone. When people pay for something, they expect to get what was agreed upon. If you agreed to something that you felt resentful over, you need to learn how to work on setting terms rather than reneging on a deal. She knew from the start that you had no internet at home, but went ahead anyway and didn’t back out, so I really don’t see an issue with the fact that she was disappointed. She accepted anyway. Disappointing can still be acceptable.
I would say don’t do it. Start fresh with someone new, and make sure the terms are something you can live with because that is what you will be expected to do.
I don’t think it’s her dear friend, more like someone she knows casually.
Her friend has chosed a Christian job, and I’m sure the OP donates to the church or helps in other ways. She’s not obligated to house this woman at a huge discount if she doesn’t want to. But neither should she make make deals that she isn’t prepared to honor. This is going to be her free strike as it clearly isn’t going to work at this point.
I support animal charities, but I don’t feel obligated to have 100 animals in my home.
My concern for you, FAL01, is that you’re already keeping score. You need to be in a position where you can have a business relationship with this young woman without throwing up in her face that you’re already giving her a substantial deal. She doesn’t have the right to take you on any guilt trips. But the same goes for you, too.
Let’s say there’s a month where she can’t pay rent and she comes to you ready to whip out the world’s tiniest violin. What’s going to go through your mind? Are you going to be thinking about the sacrifices you’ve already made on her behalf and simmer with resentment, while feeling like you can’t evict her because you’ve made a commitment to this charity case? If she ends up being a horrible flatmate, is this going to affect your relationships at church? Is it going to tear you up spiritually?
I’m just thinking that you need to do this for the right reasons. Not out of a sense of obligation to your faith, but because you really want to help her. That’s not only more fair to yourself, but also to the young woman. I’m sure she doesn’t want to be anyone’s charity case either.
You have no reason to feel guilty. She’s using guilt as a negotiation tactic. Just because she has a below minimum wage Christian job, doesn’t mean she can’t negotiate.
Stick to your guns, unless she offers some sort of “friends with benefits” arrangement in addition to the cash, which may cause you to rethink the parking space and the internet.
Regardless of who what when, it sounds like this situation just isn’t going to work for either of you. I’d suggest cutting bait.
I find the notion of using prostitution to subsidize your rent because you have a “Christian” job uncommonly amusing.
Just to blow your mind, as late as the '90s there were still properties on offer for rent without indoor toilets.
I don’t think houses started being built with built-in wardrobes as standard till … some time in the 70’s, 80’s maybe? Of course, a lot would have been renovated since then, but it’s pretty common to just build a wardrobe into the main bedroom and leave the other(s) “as is”. I doubt the OP lives in a post-80’s neighborhood, since it’s dense enough that parking is a thing someone will pay $60 a week for.
(And I hadn’t realised how insane Sydney rents are. $230 for a room? $60 for PARKING? faints)
Even in Australia it would be rare not to have an internet connection at the house. In a traditional renting situation absolutely it would be the renters responsibility to hook it up. This being more like a flatmate/boarder situation sounds like something the OP needs to sit down and talk about with the flatmate.
Sounds like the OP has a property in inner Sydney, which would likely mean an older style house/unit. In that case, it is unlikely to have a ‘built-in’ wardrobe/closet. Meaning that sort of storage space would need to be achieved via a separate piece of furniture.
My current house was built ~1950, and doesn’t have built ins in the bedrooms. We have wardrobes in the bedrooms instead.
Yeah, the car space part is your bad.
If the original agreement did not include internet or a wardrobe, she has no reason to complain about those. But there was an implication/promise of a place to park her car, and you reneged on that and gave the spot away to someone else. That’s on you.
It’s been said in this thread once already, but I guess it bears repeating. Outside the United States, it is not at all unusual for bedrooms not to have built in closets. People buy wardrobes as separate pieces of furniture.
Nope - I still think you would be making a mistake in going ahead with trying to live with this woman.
I think you’re probably right; if your house doesn’t have internet, she doesn’t need to live there. I do agree with others, though - saying she could have the parking space then renting it to someone else was probably not your best decision. That said, with her holding off on moving in for two months, I can see why you decided money in the hand was better than maybe she would like the spot at some point in the future.
At this point, I think you should have a discussion with this lady along the lines of, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think this is the place for you. I wish you the best in the future.” When you do interview for a new tenant, make sure you do all the stuff people here have advised - lay everything out in writing from Day One, and make sure there are signed rental contracts specifying everything.
Likewise, a lot of non-Americans would be surprised to learn that in the United States, it is common for municipal and local governments to mandate as a matter of law that bedrooms have built-in closets (as opposed to free-standing cupboards/wardrobes/almirahs).
I’m not trying to get all religion-bashy here, and obviously you’re a Christian so you presumably think there is some value to knowing the Bible. But is teaching children about the Bible such a good deed that it excuses her from at least attempting to get a “real” job that would allow her to support the lifestyle she expects to enjoy? I mean, it’s not exactly feeding the hungry, is it?
One of the issues here is that you think she should be grateful for anything, but there comes a point where what you are offering just isn’t workable. A home without internet and without a parking space can be as cheap as anything, but in the developed world that is going to be an unlivable situation for most people.
The internet thing is wierd, but she can decide that one. But you dicked her over on the parking space. She could have been spending her time finding a living situation that worked for her, but she thought she had it squared away and has suddenly been surprised with the fact that her anticipated living space has some major, perhaps unliveable, flaws.
I support the position of my alter ego.