I moved to Spain where they speak Spanish, but I go to an English speaking school where most people are from England. I’m not very good at Spanish
But you sure have Spanish class at that English speaking school, haven’t you? Try to keep up there, go out and find some Spanish friends, and it will come all naturally to you. You’re still young enough to easily absorb a new language. At your age, I was learning English and French at school, without the chance to immerse myself in the languages, but it did me well.
ETA: I can tell that you’re a bright kid by the way you express yourself here with proper spelling and grammar, which is atypical for your age. So you can learn a foreign language, too!
As everyone said, it’s totally normal and fine!
You can have sex a lot of times, later, but you’re only young once. There’s no rush. 14 is too young to be changing the diapers of your bastard child. It’s better when it’s meaningful anyway, and that kind of meaning is much harder to find when you’re younger because you and your partner(s) aren’t usually fully developed yet, mentally or emotionally or physically.
You’re all still works-in-progress, and you’ve only written the first chapter of the epic novel of your life. Give it time and the other pages will fill themselves in.
Learn cool things, go on grand adventures, make friends, travel across Europe, practice putting on condoms the right way. By the time you’re in your 20s and 30s, you’ll probably have ladies clamoring over the exotic European-American who’s lived in ten countries and speaks three languages fluently and can recite the complete military art history of four centuries. Ok, maybe save that last bit just for the SDMB…
But seriously, take the time to invest in yourself and develop your own interests and hobbies. Values, too. In doing so, not only will you make yourself a more complete, attractive package, you’ll also be much happier than if you moped around all day wondering why you’re not getting laid. Just relax and enjoy the time you have. The rest will come.
Since this is IMHO, my friends must have been precocious. Many were having sex at 12 ( with same age partners); one even at 11.
Not to mention that the Spanish kids will appreciate being able to practice their English on you! A lot of young students worldwide are expected or encouraged to develop some fluency in English, and consume a lot of English-language entertainment media in the process, but seldom get to converse at length with native English speakers.
Caveat: OP, most of us on this messageboard are some variety of old geezer, so our personal experiences may be rather outdated for your teen life of today.
However, most of us at least personally know some people who are leading a teen life today, and nobody is expecting or wanting 14-year-olds to actually be having sex. (Including probably a solid majority of those 14-year-olds who are falsely claiming to be having sex, because they think it makes them seem cool.)
I was so insecure as a teen that I never had a date until I left high school. Believe me, it gets better.
I’m glad you started your reply that way. It’s important. I shall start mine accordingly:
I’m 63. I was 14 in 1974. I had not kissed a girl then. I also wasn’t worried about it. I was mildly girl-crazy but many at 14 are !
You’re pretty articulate, you’ll find your tribe in your new school and town. I agree with the poster who suggested you learn Spanish. It will allow you to live in both cultures. I suspect a lot of the Brits won’t make the effort- they’re going to a school in their language and likely living with many other Brits. Be one of "those"non-Spaniards living in your town who expresses an interest in local sports, arts, music, whatever.
Keep us posted.
I’ll add my voice to those who are saying you’re fine, nothing to worry about, it’s best not to start that young.
But I’ll also say that even today, as an old fart, I remember being fourteen very well, and one of the things I remember most vividly was being too damn horny for my own good. I won’t assert that all teenage boys are like that, but, well, probably a solid majority, if we’re honest about it.
And I don’t say that as if it were a character flaw, because it’s not. It’s just the way we develop, for better or worse. Bottom line is, hormones sure can make your life miserable.
I knew some kids who claimed back in the 1970s, probably truthfully, to be doing that “consensually” at those ages. They were really messed up in other ways, too.
I’m going to go a slightly different path from the prior posters.
I’m younger than some of you guys (I was born the year Cartooniverse turned 14), but I’m still closer to the geezer category than the OP.
But I remember being 14 and having the same concerns the OP did - was I “different”, behind, missing out? Because part of the problem was that I was precocious at falling in love (puppy and otherwise) but an absolute failure at doing anything about it. And it made me really insecure, and I reacted in ways that probably didn’t improve my chances.
So, I’ll first say to the OP that having the concerns and doubts you have right now is common - there are plenty of people at that age who doubt themselves, feel different or wrong, or somehow “lesser” for not being a social/dating success. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck, doesn’t mean that the dark thoughts are any less real, but really, you aren’t alone in that.
You’re going to probably be torn this way and that for years to come. It doesn’t really get easier until you’re a lot more sure of who you are, much less what you’re looking for in a partner. For me, it was my first years of college before that. The probable good news is that if you’re thinking about it this hard right now you’re way ahead of the curve when it comes to the long term success. Figuring out who you are right now, and what you may be looking for means that you’re going to be more sure of yourself later, when a lot of guys/gals who were popular in junior/high school were sure of themselves and find that the real world is totally different.
Going to suck in the meantime, that I get.
Learn as much about the world as you can, take advantage of the chance to learn about wider array of cultures, and once you know yourself and the world, things are going to be a lot easier. Not easy - no, it’s never easy, but being self-aware is a huge advantage. Just be careful to lot let yourself get so cynical, so despondent that you aren’t able to reach out to anyone later either. Being smart (and you obviously are) is a trap in it’s own way.
If you’re 14 years old, an American, living in Spain, attending a school where the courses are taught in English, and most of the students in the school are British, there are two things I need to ask you about. First, I assume that your parents moved to Spain because one or both of them came to work in Spain for a few years. There’s nothing surprising about that. If you’re not with your parents, how did you come to live in Spain?
There’s certainly nothing that’s a big deal about a married couple coming to live for a few years in a foreign country and having a child while there. For instance, (to give examples going the opposite direction) did you know that Saoirse Ronan, Nicole Kidman, Anya Taylor-Joy, Sienna Miller, and Bruce Lee were born in the U.S. despite their parents being non-Americans because they were temporarily in the U.S.? That’s not a rare thing.
The other thing is that if you have sex while you’re 14 years old while in Spain and attending that school, you and the woman you have sex with could be in a lot of trouble. You need to look up what the rules are in Spain about having sex at that age. You need to look up what the rules are about the age of the women that you have sex with. You need to look up what the rules are about having sex while you’re a student at that school. Suppose that you have sex while you’re 14 with a teacher at the school who’s 23. Or just date her. Or just kiss her. Any of those would be a huge mess for both of you.
Same in the time and place I was a teenager. It went straight from that to an exclusive relationship which I wouldn’t have called dating , because there was never any “asking out” and actually , not that much going out.
Isn’t that typically an issue when one person is above the age of majority/consent and the other isn’t, e.g. a teacher-student relationship? When both are teenagers, does Spain not have (what we in the US) call “Romeo and Juliet laws”…? Certainly they can’t prosecute every teenage couple…?
I don’t know how it really works nowadays but you probably have to friend a girl on insta and slip into her DMs. It’s not how it used to be.
Not only is that normal, it’s healthy. You’re a bit young for those things.
My first real romantic kiss was either just before or after I turned 18 (which is also when I started dating). My senior year of high school. Until then, I was focused on kid things, and getting good grades in school, having fun with friends.
I turned out fine. I have kids, a satisfying marriage, a good career, and so on. You are a kid. Enjoy being a kid. Don’t worry about adult things until you’re an adult. Cut yourself some slack.
I’ve been an adult for a long while now. It has its advantages, sure, but you only have a limited time as a kid before you have to do adult stuff, so just enjoy it while you can.
“Killed by an aunt” and no one noticed? I’m ashamed of you people. I liked my aunts. Most of them.
I went to junior high before the sexual revolution. Sure, that’s why I never snogged in junior high.
Anyhow I suppose today it would be my AI kissing her AI.
Romeo and Juliet were legally married.
Would those be Calisto and Melibea laws?
I didn’t name the laws 