Coming from a place where it’s not seen as a bad thing that young people have sex and it’s very common for 16-year-olds to sleep at their girlfriends’ or boyfriends’ houses I find it hard to understand why it’s considered such a terrible thing for teenagers to have sex.
It seems to me sometimes that parents in the US (and maybe other places but I wouldn’t know. I have however lived in the states for a year) would rather have their kids do drugs than have sex.
Why is this? Is it religion? Wouldn’t it be better to teach people about birth control and how to avoid diseases than to just tell them to not have sex?
In my opinion, yes, it’s better to teach people about birth control and how to avoid diseases than to just tell them not to have sex. However, there is a very large part of the US population who promote abstinence and “no sex before marriage”, largely due to their religious beliefs.
Last week, me and my gf (I’m 17, she’s 16) were in my room, cuddled up on the bed watching TV.
My mum walks in and asks if I have anything that needs washed… i pass her a tshirt that needs washing. She leaves.
Pretty innocent yes/no?
Later when my gf has gone home, both my rents sit me down and tell me never to take her into my bedroom again cos we’re “both young” and they’d be extremely angry if it happens again.
" Wouldn’t it be better to teach people about birth control and how to avoid diseases than to just tell them to not have sex?"
Nope.
Sex is illegal if you aren’t of the proper age. Plus, there are tons of teen pregnancies that the tax payer has to pay for. Teens aren’t all that sharp with using birth control even when they know they need it.
So how come teenagers are getting pregnant all of the friggin time over there and not here?
And perhaps the age of consent is 18 in most states but I know it’s 16 in some and it’s 15 here. Is it okay for people over the respective age to have sex then?
According to the University of Maryland Medical School, American teenagers have sex as often as teenagers in other Western countries, but they get pregnant more often, and are less likely to use contraception. They suggest that access to healthcare and lack of health insurance is a major reason, along with social attitudes towards teen sexuality.
The teen pregnancy rate in the US is twice that of Britain and Canada, and five times that of Sweden and France. (You might guess that cultural factors are involved in that.) US teens are less likely to use contraception or have abortions. This USA Today article adds:
I didn’t realise that the age of consent over there is so high! I guess I had just assumed it was the same as it is here in England, - 16.
My mum has always made it clear that she doesn’t want me to have sex until I’m married, but if I do its my choice and just to be careful. (Of course she doesn’t know I actually lost my virginity at 17)
Speaking as a parent of two teenagers, no I wouldn’t prefer my kids do drugs than have sex. I would prefer they do neither. Here’s why.
Risk of pregnancy, since Mrs. Kunilou and I both know of a number of people for whom contraception didn’t work. My own feelings about abortion preclude me considering recommending that as a “last resort” for an unwanted pregnancy.
Risk of disease.
Risk of heartbreak. One of the teenagers falls in love frequently and suffers crushing heartbreaks when it doesn’t work out. Add the intimacy of a sexual relationship and I have no doubt he’d be so depressed he’d never leave his room. Frankly, he’s not mature enough to handle sex.
Aren’t these things people of all ages risk? I know 30-year-olds who aren’t mature enough to handle sex, The risk of desease hardly disappears with age and it’s not like it doesn’t matter if you catch something when your’r 30. And as for pregnancy, if you use birth control correctly there isn’t much risk.
I’m pleased to hear that. But if refusal’s links are any indication, there’s a long way to go still, if teens in Sweden and France are five times less likely to cause a pregnancy, with comparable sexual activity.
Handy, how can you go about proclaiming sexual education isn’t better than prohibition? That’s highly irresponsible. Since when did an archaic law (that can’t be properly enforced anyway) stop a couple of teenagers that are in love or lust (the line gets blurry at that age, sometimes)?
I can see where kunilou’s coming from when she says her son isn’t mature enough to handle sex. A lot of kids probably aren’t. But I hope he/she also realises that her son might beg to differ, and go ahead and have sex anyway.
There’s no earthly reason NOT to teach kids about birth control and STD’s. Even if you have archaic laws in place that are supposed to keep them virgins until their wedding night.
All those are true. however, saying that you know of 30 year olds who aren’t mature enough to do something is hardly a justification for approving of someone half that age doing it.
As for the other two risks, I hope you agree that there is much less risk in a long-term monogamous relationship.
By the way, I’m the dad. Mrs. Kunilou and I have made sure our children do have the facts and know where to buy condoms. I don’t agree with the philosophy of “don’t tell them - it will just giove them ideas.” If they decide to do it, i want them to have all the information they can.
On the evening news several years ago, there was a report of birth control that could be administered through a nasal spray. The next day one of my students asked me if I knew that women could get pregnant through their noses. sigh
Having good sex education classes doesn’t mean that we can’t try to encourage waiting. And ignorance can be disasterous.
I think the age of consent in my state is 16. That may vary from state to state – I’m not sure.
