So my stepson is coming to visit. Which is great. But about three weeks ago or so, he informed his daddy that he had gotten head lice at camp. Daddy never heard anything from exwife about it, but he talked to his son about it being treated.
He arrives tomorrow, and I hear from one of his aunts that I need to bring him from the airport to her for another lice treatment. His mother has not talked to Mr. Thief about this at all when I get a text informing me that I need to pick up medicated shampoo and head to her shop for re-treatment. If I hadn’t heard (from one of her coworkers no less) that this was the new plan, he would have gotten off the plane, been presumed to be lice free, and gone home with me.
I am irked. I feel Mommy should have mentioned, oh btw, he is still complaining of being itchy and scratching a lot, we aren’t sure we killed all the lice. Just a heads up in case we were bringing creepy crawlys into our home. If it weren’t for the fact that she talked to his aunt about, we would not know anything at all.
Am I being stupid and oversensitive for expecting her to have at least given us a heads-up?
I don’t know if you’re being overly sensitive, but I’d be very worried about getting lice. Evidently, the medicated shampoos are no longer effective against head lice and you’ll have to find other ways to get rid of them. Maybe you can talk him into the shaved-head look for the summer (I’m only partially joking about that - I have a friend who did just that when he got lice from his daughter).
Oh no, he is adamant about growing his hair out long just like his stepfather. His mother supports this decision. Sad to say, no matter who wants what, it may be all shaved off tomorrow. I don’t want lice, and if his hair is too shaggy to tell if he has nits, its coming off.
No way are you being overly sensitive! I had lice back in high school. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. It took well over a week to get rid of. I shampooed at least 3 times and spent hours combing through my long locks. The only thing that finally worked was dousing my head with an entire big jar of mayo, covering it in a shower cap and sleeping like that overnight.
What’s almost worse is what you have to do to the rest of the house - thoroughly washing EVERYTHING you can in the washer, vacuuming like crazy, etc. More than 10 years later I still panic whenever my head itches.
I would make sure that your stepson’s head is thoroughly inspected before you leave the aunt’s house to be sure you got not only the lice out but the eggs. The shampoo doesn’t always kill them and almost always leaves some of them around. The only way to remove them that I know of at least is by combing them out with a special lice comb.
I would second the recommendation for shaving his head if at all possible. It will avoid a lot of potential trauma later on down the line.
One last thing… Make sure you give your car a really good vacuum after stepson has been in it. I would even shampoo/steam clean it if possible. These suckers like to hide and can jump on you later.
the typical lice shampoos you find in the drug store don’t really work. Go to the health food store and look for a head lice treatment that has eucalyptus oil in it, works like a charm.
I don’t think you’re being overly sensitive at all. Giving people a heads up about a kid possibly bringing lice into your home is the civilized thing to do. I’d suspect that the ex-wife is worried that you’d equate head lice with being dirty or as an indictment on her parenting and is just crossing her fingers that she got all the little buggers.
The chemicals do not work. Period. Combing, combing and more combing seems to be the only workable solution. My understanding btw is that they cannot jump and can only be transferred by close head to head contact.
This, definitely this. If she knows there’s a problem, then she should let you know so that you can prepare to deal with it. I’m STILL kind of pissed off at my sister-in-law, who knew that her kids had lice, and who let them invite my daughter to stay overnight (or over the weekend, actually), without letting me know about the louse problem. Hell YES I wouldn’t have let her stay! Instead of one household being infested with lice, there were then two. And my daughter had very long, thick hair that she was very proud of.
I THINK that we had to do two treatments with Kwell (prescription stuff) for everyone. And combing, and combing, and combing. The thing is, the treatment will kill off the adults, but the eggs can live through it. I also had to cut Lisa’s hair to just above her shoulders, over her tearful protests, because there was just too much hair to treat effectively. And Stepson might have to accept a buzz haircut in order to get rid of all the bugs. I happen to like long hair, but sometimes we have to sacrifice things. I wouldn’t want to take a chance of getting an infestation if you can prevent it.
You’ve heard this from one of her co-workers? Have you actually rung the mother to confirm? I just think you should check your facts before you decide whether to be annoyed or not.
She should have mentioned it for sure, but lice isn’t the worst thing in the world. It’s a pain in the ass and everyone would be happier without it, but if it’s in the “worst experiences of your life” then you’ve lived a pretty easy life.
This. There are several essential oils you can add to your shampoo and the little buggers won’t even bother to take hold. Rosemary, lavender and peppermint work well also.
Have your stepson use the same stuff while he’s there if possible and use a good comb and he probably won’t even have to use that chemical crap at all.
Yeah its been confirmed thru the mother- her stance is that even tho he is still itching she is pretty sure she got them all and just wants the aunt to check and be prepared to retreat if necessary. Because she won’t cut his hair, she can’t tell if there are any nits left.
And no, it is far from the worst experience any of us have ever had, even if he still has them. It is a pain in the ass, and it seems like common courtesy to mention it.
It is recommended by some that, even if you THINK you’ve killed off all the lice and you can’t find anyway you should do a follow up treatment just to be sure - so it MIGHT be a case of “we think we got them all, we just want to be sure”. But if that’s the case she should have said “we want to do a follow-up just to be sure we got all the cooties”.
Certainly, while at your home stepson should have his own comb/brush, not share towels, etc. anyhow as those are good lice prevention techniques. Won’t prevent every infestation, but it helps reduce the chances of one.
Whatever the case, don’t take out your frustration on stepson. His mom is the jerk, not him.
No, they’re no worse and no better than any other lice - it’s American attitudes that tend to cause the worst problem as lice are associated with poverty, lack of hygiene, and moral degradation. Of course, wealthy people who shower multiple times per day and are living saints can get them, too - they just would die rather than admit it.
As I understand this, you’re the stepfather he’s trying to emulate, so shave your head now, so that when he arrives, he’ll want to shave his to emulate you. (Or just camp out for a few days until you’re sure that he’s clean.)
Oh, puh-LEEZE - she can’t by a nit comb? Really? This isn’t rocket science.
Butt length hair might have to be cut but I don’t know too many boys with that. Anything shorter it should be possible to check. Buy a nit comb at the local drugstore. They’re cheap, and they’ll let you check the poor kid not only this time, but on subsequent visits. I hope you never find any, but if you do at least you can make sure the kid gets properly treated and you can control the outbreak at home.
Sorry for the confusion, Dewey, I am the stepMOTHER. His mother says he neither wants nor needs his hair cut. If we do find nits, it will probably get cut. Great way to start the summer visit.
To further complicate things, dad and I both work, and if he does still have them, we have NO childcare for him til they are gone.
I can’t tell you how to raise the stepchild, but cutting a kid’s hair really isn’t necessary to get rid of lice. On the other hand, if you want to convince him to shave his head I won’t stop you, either.
I don’t see the problem? The boy with lice informed Dad, Dad informed step mom and Aunt called to inform stepmom that she was going to take care of the lice on boys head.
It’s not something to get all huffy over, don’t stigmatize the boy, just check his head for nits after treatment.
Usually summer camps comb thru heads for nits at check-in time. But still lice will at some time or another end up on your kid’s head.
