I can’t think of one single time in human history where society jumped in head first for a major change and everybody was cool with it.
Nope, I think the SOP is society first has too dip their little toe in and then slowly immerse themselves into the water.
Once everybody realizes that their angry sky god isn’t going to smite them for letting the gays get married; stupid BS like this will stop.
I know it sucks, just give it some time.
Do insurance companies ever do things that aren’t irksome?
I’m with ivylass, we may have a ways to go, but complaining without acknowledging such progress would be the only thing that is petty, IMO.
When SSM couples are perfectly equal (and they will be someday I imagine), people on both sides are still going to freaking bitch and moan and complain on message boards. There is nobody that is so happy and have things so good they can’t find something annoying or irksome to complain about.
No, you’re not being petty. It’s a stupid policy written by people that don’t understand the new law.
It’s not even petty to bemoan the fact that those of us in domestic partnerships have to pay federal income tax on the value of the insurance covering our domestic partner. (in my situation that adds up to about $1000 a year)
This is a glass half full or a glass half empty situation. Yeah, its going to be great when the glass is full…but it was so recently that the glass was empty.
Okay, we don’t actually disagree then. I am not advocating venting at actual humans: not fair, not productive. I don’t think bringing in evidence that a policy is out of compliance with a new law counts as venting, though. I certainly don’t mind venting at anonymous generic versions of actual humans on message boards with extremely mild oaths. And of course I didn’t know about your friend in HR and therefore could not possibly have been directing my comments at him.
ETA: Reading this over, the tone is exceptionally jerkish. I don’t mean to be: I just come across badly (esp. pompously) in writing sometimes. What I mean is that although I disagree with you about the specifics, I really do agree that it’s wrong to berate the messenger. Even if I think the messenger is in the wrong, it’s not my job as a customer / member of the public / etc. to discipline him, and while I might be annoyed on my own time, in person is a different story.
I don’t think it’s petty at all. As a gay man it also irks me that in my last job, two straight people can get married and the spouse immediately gets coverage. But two gay or even two straight people who are defactos (as it was termed) had to be together a year before they could apply.
And I know marriages in that company that didn’t last a year. So I think that it isn’t fair, but what are you gonna do?
On the other hand I can see the company’s point of view, first of all many companies change policies each year. You won’t always notice this, but sometimes your entire policy will be different, and in effect the H/R re-signs up everyone and you don’t know about it. But technically that’s what happens. Even if you have say, Blue Cross from one year to the next, because it’s a different policy you have to resign.
In this case, to be fair, what I’d do is require everyone married or not, to submit proof of marriage or domestic co-habitation.
You haven’t answered (unless I missed it) whether unmarried heterosexual domestic partners are also required to submit proof.
I agree that it stinks. They discriminate against you because you’re not married, but they won’t let you marry. My state just affirmed the “everything but marriage” law, but it could have gone either way.
I don’t know about his company or how it works in Nevada, but here in CA at my company they would have to. Although the only way for a heterosexual couple to have a domestic partnership in CA is if at least one of them is 62 or older.
Maybe this will be one of those pesky little things that can be used to prove that gay couples are indeed discriminated against when they are not allowed to marry.
And of course you have the right to be annoyed.
I think you should write a letter stating your case and ask that all Hetero married couples have to do the same thing every cotton picking year until this stupid rule changes.
What’s next? Asking African American couples to notarize their wedding every year? Jewish couples? Asian couples? Interracial couples? A couple is a couple.
The only group that should have to file paperwork every year is anyone on the A or B list in Hollywood. That’s if their marriages lasted 365 days to begin with.
If you didn’t want to have to go through all this, you shouldn’t have gotten Domestic Partnerized or whatever, you should have gotten married for real like everyone else. Duh.
Yes, you’re being petty. You seem to act as if you haven’t been in America and have no idea about domestic partnering and legal ramifications, and what laws there are and how quickly they can/may be overturned, and are mad at a company because they do not make things convenient for you.
And whoever called the clerk an idiot, and suggested showing him a printout of a ‘government document’ is making a terrible joke. Just carry a copy of the constitution around, and whenever somebody does something you don’t like, let him know that he’s interfering with your constitutional rights! :rolleyes:
hh