The only disease not covered by Signa is stupidity

Every time I finally think I’ve hit the rock-bottom eschelon of jaded cynicism, something else jolts me into the realization that no matter how much stupid, hypocritical, ignorant shit I witness and accept, there’s another bit of American buffoonery to jolt me from my comfort right around the corner.

The health insurance company contracted by the company I work for (heretofore referred to as “Fuckwad Insurance, Inc.” and “The Gulag”, respectively, to keep various names and legal issues out of my way entirely), does not allow me to place Malkavia, loyal Dope Fiend and my roommate-recently-turned-girlfriend, or her 6-year-old son on my insurance plan. This is because Malkavia and I aren’t married. You’ll find the same policy among most, if not all, insurance companies across the country. This in itself is nonsense, but not the subject of today’s bit of angry bitching and moaning.

Fuckwad Insurance, Inc. allows homosexual couples (adoringly dubbed, “Domestic Partners”) to share a single insurance policy; ie Joe Gayman works for the Gulag, both he and his live-in boyfriend, Bill Assmasterson, who is NOT employed by the Gulag and, coincidentally, has no insurance of his own, may share Joe’s policy. However, as stated above, I can’t share my policy with my heterosexual “Domestic Partner”, Malkavia.

After that frothing and raving preamble, my question is this: Is the Affirmative Action and various minority rights movements basically stating, and are the government and corporate entities of the United States agreeing, that two wrongs really do make a right? Are we being told, in deed, that “fairness” and “equality” and “justice for all” means simply screwing a particular demographic until it makes too much fuss, then turning around and screwing the one that was previously “dominant”?

No, it means that since gay people can’t yet marry one another, there ought to be some other way they can get health insurance. This may not be the most solid reason out there, but it is the reason.

If you don’t like it, either marry Malkavia, fight for gay marriage, or (preferred option) send angry letters to the president of the insurance company until they change the policy to include all domestic partners.

Oh, and “Assmasterson?” How droll. :rolleyes:

Wan, are you sure its the insurance company and not the plan purchased by the employer. I worked in insurance for a couple of years, and we would get bitched at for not paying for something, when it wasn’t even being purchased by the employer’s plan.

Hey, WanKuei, wanna have some fun? Try and get that fabled “Domestic Partner” insurance for your homosexual partner.

Prove that you’ve been living together over a year, at least. Prove that you’re sharing assets, like having both your names on a morgage or lease, both owning a car, and that you’ve done so for over a year. Have fun getting mortgage companies, landlords, and banks to go along with this. It literally takes years, if you ever successfully manage it at all.

Then tell me how much trouble it would be to go down to the courthouse and get married. Voila. Instant insurance.

Gay people don’t have the option to get married. We can’t just wave a document, and prove we’re committed to each other. Domestic partner benefits are a stopgap measure, but not a good one. And it took years of fighting in order to get those.

So quit whining. You want insurance for your demographic, go lobby for it. You want to take away what it took the gay movement years of effort to enact? Piss the hell off.

Oh, and Wan? Just a tip. Wandering in here and flinging around terms like “Gayman” and “Assmasterson” is not a way to endear yourself to many folks hereabouts.

Not sure about US law, but in Canada there’s something called common law marriage. People who have been living together and sharing resources for over a year can use this to claim spousal benefits. I would expect that any insurance policy which offers benefits to domestic partners would probably define the partnership in a similar way.

The OP seems to imply that any two homosexuals can walk in off the street and demand spousal coverage. I am inclined to believe that this is bullshit. WanKuei, do you know how the insurance policy defines “domestic partnership”? I get the distinct impression that you’re bitching about a situation you actually don’t know anything about.

As for your girlfriend not being able to get insurance… Six months of living together would not qualify you for benefits in Canada, AFAICR.

The name CIGNA comes from combining the first letters of Connecticut General (CG) and Insurance Company of North America (INA) where I started my career many years ago.

Most insurance companies have a policy in place (that has been okayed through the Department of Insurance) that will not allow you to add someone to your policy unless you can claim them as a dependant on your taxes. Roomates and girlfriends don’t work there, either. I used to work in insurance, and I’ve seen people try to add girlfriends, parents, brothers, and on one occasion, a dog to existing plans. Not gonna happen, my friend. Grandkids normally can’t be covered, even if they’re the child of a dependent on your existing plan, unless the policyholder takes official custody. The reason for this is because some people DO try to abuse the system. Until you and Malkavia get hicthed (even if it’s a sham marriage just for benefits), you can’t do it. Sorry. Of course, you COULD get married in name only through a justice-of-the-peace, add her and her son to your plan, and then continue the relationship as normal.

I am a hetero guy and I don’t do marriage. Thanks to the gay advocacy of the last couple decades, my current employer allows coverage for domestic partners and, unlike the OP’s company, doesn’t distinguish between gay and non-gay partnerships.

a) Are you SURE your employer discriminates in the fashion you’ve described? That they would cover your girlfriend if she were your boyfriend instead (or if you were female) but that they both notice and care that the two of you are of different genders? This may, in fact, be illegal, or in violation of more sweeping company policy about gender parity.

b) I have no illusions that this opportunity is available to me and my girlfriend as a result of the political activity of free love proponents and hippies who vote. If it weren’t for gay activists, this opportunity would not exist for us. Those of us who do not think the (essentially religious) institution of marriage should be so “respected” as to be virtually required need to spend more time lobbying for domestic-partnership rights.

I agree with most of the responses in this thread more than the OP. But I do want to emphasize that CIGNA is, indeed, evil.

If you listen ever-so-carefully, you’ll hear the tiniest of cracking sounds. That would be my queer heart breaking for WanKuei and his decision not to indulge himself in all the rights and privileges which are his for the asking by paying a court clerk a token fee and signing on the dotted line. You think DP benefits are some gift? In addition to the other difficulties already enumerated here, domestic partnership benefits are considered taxable income under federal and most state law, because the people receiving them are legally considered to be single. DP benefits aren’t some prize that queer folk won. They’re the best that we could do given the refusal of this country to afford the same legal status and respect to committed relationships which have in some cases endured for decades as it would to you if you went to Vegas and married some ho you’d known for twenty minutes.

Sure, it’d be nice if you weren’t required to enter into a state-sanctioned contract before accessing benefits. But you’ll pardon me I’m sure if I can’t muster up too much sympathy. You want your gf to have benefits? Marry her.

Me and almost-Mr. Athena aren’t married, but he’s covered under my insurance plan. We had to fill out an “Affadavit of Domestic Partnership” or some such thing, but other than that, big bad insurance company covered him just fine. Maybe you want to re-check your data - there was nothing in my agreement that specified the sex of the “domestic partner.”

“The only disease not covered by Signa is stupidity”

WTF?

What the hell are you talking about fuckwad? I rarely resort to swearing, but since this is the pit and I feel you deserve it shitmaster, I am going to let go. What the hell does stupidity have to do with adding insurance coverage to same sex partners? Despite the fact that a large part of insurer’s don’t cover same sex partners (such as my insurance and my partners),even if they do it can be quite difficult to qualify. And now you are implying that it is stupid that they do? Listen up you rancid pile of goat smegma, I would marry my partner if I could, but I am not allowed to. On the other hand you could go down to the courthouse on almost any business day and walk away married after filling out a few forms. That would instantly qualify you. So, hemmeroids for brains, until a little fairness and equality is applied to the rest of us, I would say that you have it good. Because like it or not, life is a hell of a lot easier for you.

Pissed Off
Jeeves

::tries to remember Alphagene’s wise words about posting::

I think it went something like “Nobody should be allowed to post until they have 50 posts”.

Weak, fucking rant, even for a newbie with all of two posts.

And “Gayman” and “Assmasterson” are not going to get you on good terms with anyone worth knowing on this MB.

:wally

That bit about 50 posts does not apply to you, Jeeves. It was addressed to the OPer. Sorry for any confusion.

Thats not true. He’s on good terms with me… who else could he possibly need? =)

I almost want to start my own pit thread just to bitch about this line. You stupid fuck… I dont know if you’ve been following the SiloBan thread, but in that thread it talks about what a fair fucking board we have and how the cool thing about it is that we dont have newbies. Once you’re a member, you’re a member. Welcome aboard.

So fuck you and your high-handedness… and fuck you and your “Dont say this or people wont like you” sheeps mentality. Now, if you’ll excuse me… Im gonna borrow my hijack and start a new thread just for you.

Thanks.

/hijack

malkavia, here’s what I meant by that:

“Needlessly being an ass, jerk, jackass, moron, fuckface, or cretinous pile of pigshit isn’t going to get you very far on this MB at all.”

Naming two gay men Joe Gayman and Bill Assmasterson is needless, IMHO. It’s also being an ass, IMHO. And, just on the off-chance this is necessary, that post of mine was IMHO.

I think you might also have missed the point with this as well.

Coming onto this board shooting (by, say, posting in the pit on your very first or second post) can be a really good way to get branded as an asshole, if you do it right (er, wrong . . . you know what I mean, I hope:)).

I have been following the SiloBan thread with decent attention, given the other things I get to do while it’s going on.

When Alphagene said it, I think he was only very slightly serious, though I do admit I never bothered to ask. I think most people took it as a joke that was only very slightly serious (haven’t done a poll, but the rest of that thread seems to me to agree with that notion). And when I posted it I was only slightly serious.

By the way, my “don’t say this or people won’t like you” . . . that OP doesn’t seem (to me) to have rubbed many people the right way. And it does seem (to me) to be a bit over-the-top. This hasn’t stopped any number of posters in the past. I don’t find anything wrong with that notion, since the Pit is for complaining/bitching/other forms of shit-flinging. Just because I disagree with something doesn’t un-entitle someone to post it.

What I did have issue with (however insignificant it was to you [I am not suggesting there’s anything wrong with this]) was the OPer giving “Gayman” and “Assmasterson” as last names for two gay men. I don’t think it’s funny, I think it’s offensive. And were I to know the OPer better I would be able to figure out if this was purposefully so, or if said OPer is just a joker. But since I don’t (from only two posts and without the benefit of talking to the OPer off the boards), I am left with an offensive comment and no way to find out if it was intentionally so.

I would remind you that a great number of things we’re “not supposed to say on here or people won’t like us” are also things that get us warned. Warnings are not a good thing. And while not everything from the group “don’t say this or people won’t like you” isn’t in the group “if you say this you’ll get warned”, a lot of them certainly are.

Sigh. I don’t think I am able to explain this to my satisfaction. I hope you will be able to understand as well as I have been able to explain.

Malkavia:
“I almost want to start my own pit thread just to bitch about this line. You stupid fuck… I dont know if you’ve been following the SiloBan thread, but in that thread it talks about what a fair fucking board we have and how the cool thing about it is that we dont have newbies. Once you’re a member, you’re a member. Welcome aboard.”

And because one person posts this you believe it? Let me enlighten you dear. You gain respect from other dopers by your method of posting and the intelligence you demonstrate. That comes from experience and time spent on the board. If you think that we don’t have newbies here then you are sadly mistaken. It’s been discussed over and over again in most of the forums. Don’t take the word of one poster in one thread as the gospel of the board. You can say what you like and believe anything you wish, it’s a free country and a free message board, but newbies exist and always have and always will and yes, they are called newbies. They are welcomed, and many have mentors in the older members who help guide them through the board that are unseen in the public forum. I’ve done it myself with several. Don’t set yourself up.

Ah. So that explains the OP.

The words we choose to use here pretty much define who we are and what we believe. So yeah, I’d think twice about naming my hypothetical (and unfairly advantaged :rolleyes:) gay protagonist Assmaster. Sure, Wank may mean it as a joke, and may actually be a very open-minded individual. Unfortunately, from what he’s chosen to say here, he’ll have to prove that before some of us believe it.

:sigh:

Apparently, my health plan also does not cover stupidity. I meant to post to malkavia’s thread, rather than hijack this one.

My humble apologies.

[hijack]

I’d say “welcome back, Otto!” but then everybody’ll go, “Huh?” and someone will pat my hand patronizingly and say, “There, there, we know it’s difficult for you to pay attention.”

Well, I thought he was gone, so there. Nicetaseeya, Otto. :smiley:

[/hijack]