Warning: long post. But I’ve been thinking about this, and what I’m thinking doesn’t want to fit in one paragraph.
It seems to me that some are reading ‘people who want to see their grandchildren are evil’ when what’s being objected to is the idea that every individual’s entitled to make up their own minds about what risks to take as if only the people at that specific gathering are taking that risk.
Some risks will have to be taken; there’s no question about that. If we locked every individual on the planet up separately for a month, each in their own room with no exchange of air circulation between them, there would be no more covid-19 (and probably no more of a batch of other diseases while we’re at it.) There’s obviously no way we can do that, not only because it would be utterly unenforceable as everyone who could possibly be an enforcer would also be locked up in isolation and unable to enforce anything, but primarily because huge numbers of people would die either from the isolation itself or afterwards due to the huge mess left behind in everything from, among other areas, agricultural production to maintenance of energy production. Again, some risks need to be taken.
If we’re to limit the amount of unnecessary deaths, unnecessary long term damage to individuals’ health, unnecessary disruption to other people’s lives because their loved ones are dead or have long-term damage, and unnecessary disruption to the economy due to all of those factors: we need to consider which risks are necessary, which risks are not necessary, and, importantly, which risks can be ameliorated.
It’s reasonable to conclude that in some cases the risk of personal visits between households is necessary. But there are ways to make such visits less risky, especially to those outside the households doing the visiting.
And ignoring the fact that those other than the people deciding to take the risks are being put at risk means that those techniques – including, for instance, masks and/or distancing during the visit and/or isolation for some time after it – are far less likely to be considered, or to be used.
Therefore getting indignant just because somebody points out that such visiting puts people at risk who are not being given a choice in the decision is IMO both unreasonable and a very bad idea.
The issue isn’t whether Grandma’s evil. The issue isn’t even, should this particular grandma visit with her particular grandchildren – I’d say in most areas at most times that’s a case by case call. The issue is, are all the risk factors being taken into consideration, and ameliorated as much as possible?