I’m picking up Little Palo (LP) from camp and all the other boys in his group, but not him, have obviously just finished swimming: they are wet and in their swim suits. I talk briefly to LP and he says he forgot to put his swim suit in his backpack this morning and he is disappointed because he didn’t get to go swimming, which he enjoys.
He and the other boys go off to get their backpacks to go home, and one of the other moms strikes up a conversation with me. “Oh, why didn’t LP swim today?”
Me: “He forgot to put his bathing suit in his bag this morning.”
Other mom looks confused, “You forgot to put in his swim suit?”
Me, “No,HE’S responsible in the morning for putting everything he needs in his backpack. He gets his swim stuff, hat, and water bottle.”
Other mom looks horrified now, “But surely you’re thinking of revamping this policy now of having him get his own things? Now that this awful thing has happened.”
Me, confused, “What awful thing?”
Other mom, “He didn’t get to go swimming today! He must be so upset. All his friends were splashing in the pool and he just had to sit on the side and watch.”
Me, “I think that’s a very educational natural consequence. I’m pretty sure he’ll remember his swim suit tomorrow!”
Other mom shakes her head and walks away.
Who is nuts, me or her?
Definitely her.
I am a huge believer in kids learning due to natural consequences when those consequences are small enough to be painful but not life altering.
Horrified mother’s kid is only going to learn about being resposible for themselves after failing to bring their laptop (or other required tool) to work a couple of times. If they’re lucky they won’t get fired.
Not a parent, but - I think she’s the nuts one.
How old is LP?
Yes, you’re completely insane. You should never give your kid any responsibility whatsoever. You should helicopter parent your special snowflake until he has graduated from college.
There, have I hit all the major themes?
Seriously, it’s fine. I have three kids and do not have the time or energy to make sure everybody has everything before they go out the door. They are responsible for remembering their own water bottles, gear, etc., and for the most part they do a pretty good job.
She is. The way you learn is by fucking up.
Little Palo probably won’t forget his swimsuit next time; he’s learned a lesson.
This is the first step on his way to becoming self-reliant.
It depends on how old the kids are and how great the consequences will be.
For example, yesterday when we arrived at camp my almost-thirteen-year-old son realized he’d forgotten to pack his sweater. It’s been cloudy here in L.A. so that meant he’d spend all day being chilly. My response: “Well, try to remember it tomorrow.”
On the other hand, last year my ten-year-old daughter forgot the costume she was supposed to wear for a special presentation at school. So I went back home and got it for her. Not only is she younger (and therefore less responsible) but I also didn’t think it was a good idea to use a one-time thing that she’d really been looking forward to as a teachable moment.
Another vote for you aren’t nuts, and I bet this isn’t the last time you have this conversation.
Even if your child is more responsible than many his age.
Little Palo has a wise mom, and will likely grow up to be a responsible, productive citizen. Other mom is batshit insane.
The lessons you learn the best are the ones that come with a cost - he paid a small price for a really, really good lesson. I think you’re doing fine. And try not to make helicopter noises under your breath when you’re around other parents. 
I forgot to mention his age. He’s 6.
You cruel person. What do you mean, until they graduate from college? A parent should go with their kids to job interviews, and be camped out the door on their honeymoon nights, just in case the kids need support.
In 15 years LP will be on his own, with a good job, and the kids of the other moms will be calling every ten minutes asking for help.
I think 6 is old enough to have to remember some things, but not everything. At the very least I’d make him a list to follow to make sure he had everything packed.
The answer to this most certainly lies with the age of the kid. If he’s, say 4 and forgot his bathing suit then I’d be as horrified as the other parents. If he’s, oh I don’t know, 10 or older then I’m on your side.
So, how old is he?
ETA: I just saw that he’s 6. See, that’s borderline in my books.
I’m not a parent but it seems like your kid is being raised right. He didn’t call home crying, demanding you bring his suit nor did he greet you at the end of the day all teary-eyed and throwing a fit because “you” forgot his suit.
I vote for having him be responsible but for checking his bag before he goes. He’s only six and has many weighty matters on his young mind.
I would like to add that the jr Moon’s were both raised to do as much as possible for themselves (Hey what can I say I’m lazy), and now that they are both in university they are appalled at their classmates who have no clue how to clean their own clothes, cook their own food or my favorite, read their own bus schedule.
Your attitude has the double advantage of preparing your kids for adulthood AND saving your own sanity.
I think the weightiest thing on his mind is whether during camp free time he should play Pokemon cards with Benjamin or play Foosball with Sam. He also thinks about what to wear for crazy hat day on Monday.
Six, eh? That’s what, grade one or two - old enough for teachers to be having expectations of him. I don’t think remembering to pack three things is too much. It may seem horribly young to the other parents, but from my outsider’s perspective, it seems like childhood and adolescence are just streeeeeeetching out longer and longer these days. My 15 year old niece has taken a city bus by herself ONCE in her life now, and that seems to be the new norm.
Many years from now, your son will be in intensive therapy for the mental trauma you inflicted upon him on this day.
Or not.
Six is definitely old enough to have some responsibility, but at that age they are going to forget things without some help. A checklist of “stuff to pack for camp”, made up by him with your assistance, would be a good idea as well.
Other mom is nuts.