Just ask yourself: how would it sound if Trump said it about Ivanka? 
As to the OP, I agree with the others who say there isn’t enough info, but yeah, it’s unclear.
When you said this, how did he react, if he did react?
Regards,
Shodan
On the scale of abuse, where:
1 = Teaches daughter that her worth is based upon her looks
5 = Encourages other men to see her as an object and tries to “Marry her off” to a wealthy guy
10 = Uses her sexually himself while still a child
. . . this guy could just be a 1. But he definitely bears watching. And if you have the chance, be a countering force in this child’s life. Give her compliments based upon her character, persistence, intelligence, etc. And let him hear you doing it.
Your spidey sense is tingling, don’t ignore it, just don’t overreact.
That’s a great question, Shodan. He was defensive actually. I don’t recall his precise response, but there wasn’t an explanation or qualifying comment that I’d misunderstood his meaning. I’m beginning to think, as Riemann suggested upthread, that he’s inept at determining where the “line” is.
I will do precisely that, TruCelt, thank you. You’ve nicely synthesized my concerns. While my own father never commented on my looks, he went from beating me to sexually abusing me. That had the predictable outcome of low self esteem and promiscuity as I felt for years that the only positive male attention I could hope for was sexual. I am loathe to let that happen to another little girl.
Was this Huggy Bear from Starsky and Hutch? I thought fox as a term for a sexy woman was decades out of date. It would sound strange to me under any context.
I suppose that trying to bring up “So, yesterday, when you said your daughter was a fox, what did exactly did you mean by that? Hrmmmm?” is one way to guarantee that he never speaks about his daughter to you again.
What did he then say?
Someone else asked this, but I didn’t see a response from you.
I don’t recall his exact words after I said that, but he was defensive about what I said. He didn’t suggest that I’d misunderstood; instead he was initially surprised then said something defensive. It was all in a matter of seconds.
My reflection, then reaching out to you all, is in recognition that language changes over time and perhaps “fox” doesn’t mean what it once did; and that I may be hyper-vigilant given my own history. But then I don’t want to over correct and miss an opportunity to pay attention.
At the least I’ve made him aware that some people (like me) might misinterpret a statement of that type.
For the record, I’m with TrueCelt and others: Ideally, girls should know that being smart, strong, capable, good teammates, etc. is more important than being pretty. But saying your prepubescent daughter is pretty isn’t a major problem, even saying she’s going to break hearts someday isn’t a bad attitude. IMHO, using ‘fox’ is maybe heading towards inappropriate, but, by itself, not really there yet.
And I agree with Jophiel, I’d definitely let it be going forward, unless more things come out.
Seconding all of this.
“Spidey sense” is not worth much, and there’s a very fine line (even if one exists) between not ignoring something and overreacting. Especially if you have your own history and issues influencing your judgment.
The most likely outcome of not ignoring it is that you find something else that also sets off your “spidey sense” and do overreact, and then mess up the guy’s life, the kid’s life, and possibly your own life.
My vote is to butt out entirely, unless you see something unambiguous.
I agree with this. I’m sorry you suffered at the hands of your father, Heckity, and I think you are correct about possibly being over sensitive about it. If you value his friendship I would suggest *not *bringing it up again. It really is rather insulting.
Serious question: You seem to be placing a lot of significance in his being “defensive”. What could he possibly have said or done that couldn’t be characterized as defensive?
“You know, you are right. I truly appreciate you policing my language toward my own daughter. I was totally in the wrong, and now I see the error of my ways. I will endeavor to never make this mistake again, and will be very appreciative for any future guidance you can provide to me on the subject of how I refer to my own children. If it’s not too forward, would you mind terribly if I touch the hem of your garment? Backs of the hands only, of course.”
Trump did say things like that about Ivanka. On Howard Stern.
It was disgusting.
So you’re saying that she should just forget the whole thing?
It’s an odd thing to say IMO. For one thing, do people even use the word “fox” in the sense of beautiful/sexy these days? It sounds dated to me. So I suppose it is possible that he meant she was wily or sly as a fox, as others have suggested. Though I find that an equally odd thing to say about a 4-year-old.
Oh, heck no. I find it deeply inappropriate for a father to take pride in his daughter’s sexual desirability, whether current or potential.
Parents (mothers or fathers) who view their children (sons or daughters) in those terms have crossed a line IMO. Many parents think their children are the most beautiful creatures who have ever walked the face of the earth, but their parental adoration generally has nothing to do with sexuality. Nor should it.
Does anybody under 50 years old really use that expression anymore (as it relates to someone they find sexy)?
When I was little, starting at about 5 or so when I started wearing a 2 piece bathing suit I remember my dad referring to me as a sex pot. He of course stopped shortly before I started puberty, as that *would *have been awkward, but he said that kind of thing to / about me in front of people, including my mother, who would have killed him dead if it had been inappropriate. I think the man in the OP is just showing innocent parental admiration.