Am I the only one who finds Facebook lurkers annoying?

In My Humble Opinion
1

In the past 2 weeks, I’ve added two people to my friend’s list who have NOTHING on their Facebook pages other than a fuzzy picture and some very basic profile info (city, hometown, etc).

One of 'em in is a woman who I met through a mutual friend. They stopped by my house, we hung out for a while, had some shared interests, and in general I thought she was someone I’d like to stay in touch with so a few days later I friended her. She accepted. She’s got over 200 friends, but next to no activity on her page other than a few photos.

Another is a woman I met totally randomly last week at a restaurant. We were all waiting to get drinks, we ended up talking, turned out we had some mutual friends, we had some laughs, and I promptly forgot about her until she friended me yesterday. I didn’t even recognize the name but figured out who she was by a picture. OK, fine, I said yes.

Once again her page has next to nothing on it - it’s completely empty, moreso even than the other person’s page. WTF? But over 200 friends.

Now, I know there’s no mandate to post on Facebook, and it’s entirely possible that they have security settings set up so that new people don’t get to see anything. But what’s the point? I mean, if you want to get to know people, post SOMETHING. The occasional joke, an interesting website, I’m not asking for a life’s history or any sort of personal information. It just seems totally contrary to have a page, friend people you barely know, but not expose any information about yourself so that maybe you CAN get to know these other people.

I do know people on Facebook who use it mostly as an online contact list and rarely post. But these are people I know well in real life, and I’m OK with that because they contribute to the relationship in other, real life ways. This whole thing where I barely know these people, they don’t offer any way of getting to know themselves, but they see all the crap I post is creepy to me. It’s like people who show up at a potluck, don’t bring any food, don’t know anyone very well, but help themselves to all the goodies while standing in the corner and not talking.

I’m giving them a couple weeks then unfriending them if they don’t come through. HA! That’ll teach 'em. No lurkers on MY friend list!

2

I can see why this would bother you, since your monthly Facebook bill increases based on the number of friends you have.

Er, wait… the exact opposite of that, that’s what I meant. Sorry, I was so utterly baffled by the OP I got turned around for a second.

3

Or you could tweak your privacy settings so that those folks don’t get to see your goodies. If they ask why, you tell em: you don’t show me your goodies, you don’t get to see mine!

If they make interesting comments on your page, though, then they’d be earning their keep, right?

4

I never said it was logical!

I’m having a hard time figuring out just why it’s annoying to me as well, thus the post. It just sorta seems (at least in the second case, where random woman friended me) like someone calling me, saying hi, then not saying another word. Just vaguely unsettling, I guess.

I guess I don’t understand why people would use Facebook in this way. I can see using it as a contact list of people you know in real life, or you use it to blather the mundane details of your life, or you use it to keep in touch with distant or new friends. Having an account, friending people you barely know, and then making absolutely no effort to even get to know these people seems creepy to me.

Hmm. Maybe. I think it’d depend on the comment itself and if it tweaked my creepy meter.

Maybe the real issue is that the 2 new people I just friended are actually creepy people and it has nothing to do with Facebook.

5

I’ve had a Facebook page for 3 or 4 years and have never once changed my status or uploaded pictures or done just about anything. (I did add a profile picture once.)

Basically I can’t be bothered. When I see other people post on their wall or update their status with “Just took a roast out of the oven. Yummy!” I fully realize that I’m correct in my assumption that no one will give a rat’s ass if I were to similarly make such an update.

Facebook sucks. But it is good for maintaining contacts with old buddies.

6

So do you friend people you don’t know? If so, why?

7

I’ve got lurkers on my FB list too. Surprisingly (or maybe not) they’re family. I know for a fact that a couple of them only have accounts to keep tabs on their kids.

I just realized I haven’t posted an update in more than two weeks. Just as well – most of the people on my list I know from other online sites, and if they don’t post in one place, they’ll post in the other.

8

I find it creepy when people will mention something that makes it clear they check your facebook page, but they never comment or post anything on their own. OP has a point that it seems a bit one-way…or something.

And yeah, I may be an exceptionally dull person, but I do like people’s food posts, and the normal banal chitchat of daily life that I miss after we all move to different geographical locations. Pictures of kids, dogs, hiking, travel, events–I know it’s an illusion of connection and communication, but I like it. I don’t think they’re boring.

I certainly like them better than people’s passive-aggressive complaining where they won’t name who they’re mad at or maybe even why, like “Some people don’t understand that friendship is GIVE and take, not all TAKE!” or similar. Use twitter for that crap, if you really have to put that on the internet or else die from constipated rage, eh? It’s just drama-stirring attention-whoring, IMO, but sadly, these are the people who would notice if they were unfriended.

Nope, I’d much rather hear about what you ate for dinner or how your run went than see another cut & paste slacktivist status, or link to a long article you can’t even be bothered to preface with a context/reason for sharing (worse when these are videos, our satellite internet is so slow!) or a constant stream of “check-ins” with no comment. Actually, on that, if your status updates are always the same theme (i.e. always about what you ate/cooked) well, yeah, that’s kind of boring. I’m not the boss of the internet though.

9

No, I don’t. :confused:

10

I guess technically it’s not people you “don’t know” but more like “barely know.” Per my OP, I understand people using Facebook the way you say you do - basically an online contact list you use to keep in touch with old friends or whoever, and you rarely or never post on your wall or read other people’s walls. That makes sense; contact lists are useful.

What doesn’t make sense to me are people who seemingly use Facebook like you describe, but who also go ahead and friend people they barely know as well. That’s what has me going :confused: when they friend me. Why friend me, if not to get to know me? And if you’re trying to get to know me, friending me but never ever ever posting things on your own Facebook page isn’t advancing a friendship - it’s too one-sided and tweaks my creepy meter.

Maybe I’m just ultra-popular and people who barely know me gain status just by having me on their friend list.

11

Everything about facebook annoys me.

12

Watch out man. People are here are real sensitive towards anything that may question their facebooking habits.

13

Oh no, I might be defriended. Woe is me.

14

I don’t understand how you can get annoyed with people who look at what you display in public just because they don’t gratify your exhibition by doing the same thing. They aren’t trying to annoy you. They’re just busy, and they’d rather get to know you the real way.

15

They’re just not that into Facebook.

16

They probably have you set to limited profile. So, it might look like nothing is going on but you’re probably just locked out from seeing their stuff.

17

I often post about things I’ve just taken out of the oven. I’m pretty sure that half my friends have an alert for when I mention cookies in a facebook status because half an hour after I say, “Just took another tray of snickerdoodles out of the oven, yummy!” the crowd outside the door is gargantuan.

Athena, that seems weird to me too. I probably wouldn’t unfriend them though. I’d post on their wall, “Hey, Josephina! Wow, it’s so empty over here!” Then I’d check back in a week and if there’s no more action make a comment about all the dust. But then, I’m weird like that.
Edit: Diosa has a good point too. I forget about limited profiles cuz I never use them.