Oooo, a TBC episode! I love these! If I was king of the world, all the TAR episodes would be to-be-continued. No rest, no Pit Stops, just keep going and going and going. That would be awesome. And instead of elimination, they’d just pack up Phil and the crew right after the second-to-last team arrives, leaving only a single remote-controlled camera to record the reactions of the the last-place team that arrives to find no clue, no Phil, and a long hike home from whatever God-forsaken part of the planet they find themselves in. God-forsaken like Utah, I mean, which has no natural beauty to speak of; a fact which reminds me that I’m not king of the world, since the Weavers are clearly still in the race, so let’s handicap each team’s chances, shall we?
The Back Seat Report
"Over the River and Through the Woods…" - or, songs, happiness, and lots of familial love.
The Linzes (holding steady): Yeah, they’re in last place, but they seem fairly philosophical about it, and it is through no fault of their own. So what is it with these production errors? Did they not figure out what they did wrong last episode? Clearly, if the Linzes or even the Godlewskis get eliminated next, they’ve got a reason to bitch. Anyway, the Linzes seem to be far less affected by stress and fatigue than the other teams. A less charitable person might remark that they’re not quite bright enough to be affected, but I’ll only say that they’re not wasting much time on squabbling. I’m uncertain why they didn’t pick the coal Detour, since that seemed tailor-made for them, but it’s not clear that would have gained them any time.
"Daddy’s driving right now, hon." - or, a little tension and impatience, but still far from the breaking point.
The Bransens (up from “almost there”):
The Bransens are something of a stealth mode edit, which makes me wonder if they’re destined to take it all. Sure, we know Wally’s slow, and he thinks his daughters are a bit daredevilish, out there with their bare knees and all, 23 Skidoo! But that’s about all we know about the team, and they seem to keep plugging along fairly competantly. Anyway, decent leg this ep; let’s see how they pan out.
"Are we almost there yet?" - or, some whining and dissent, but no more than you’d expect.
The Godlewskis (down from “Daddy’s driving”):
OK, Killer Fatigue is definitely starting to show with this team. When you spend more energy pointing fingers and complaining about your teammates than actually doing the task, you’ve got an issue. They’re still showing flashes of competence, so I’m not ready to write them off completely, but if they wind up competing for last place next episode, they’re apt to self-destruct.
"Dad… Janie’s on my side again!" - or, conflict, bad feelings, things just not going right.
The Weavers (holding steady): I don’t know if they actually thought about it, but their choice of the coal Detour was sound strategy: when you’re last, and all the other teams are working on Detour A, that’s the time to gamble and take Detour B in the hopes that it’s faster. That paid off for the Weavers, as did the Roadblock, so they’re sitting pretty. Still, I hesitate to move them up in the rankings, because once things start to go wrong (and they will!), I think the Weavers will just lose it.
"Dad… Jimmy made poopy-pants in the back seat." - or, near disaster, and a whole lot of clean-up required before getting back on the road.
No one this week.
"ALL RIGHT, I’M TURNING THIS CAR AROUND RIGHT NOW!" - or, out of the Race and on their way home.
The Paolos: Brought their love of family. Out!
The Gaghans: Brought their detection skills. Out!
The Schroeders: Brought their direction skills. Out!
The Aiellos: Brought their luck. Out!
The Rogerses: Brought their patriarchy. Out!
The Blacks: Brought their kids. Out!
Next week: Must be the last elimination. Root for your favorite team! Or is it a clip show?
[sub]Props to Mullinator.[/sub]