Wait you didn’t stop at ‘there’s nothing to do in Denver’. Yeah, ok you don’t like night life, shopping or sports so what about the Front Range, the Continental Divide… hiking, sailing on Lake Dillon. Hell the drive to Summit County is only 1.5 hours. The drive alone is worth it.
And the poor Slovenians. No one really believes their country exists. :smack:
This is from way back in my highschool days. I’m on the bus with a friend and we start talking to a cute guy. Friend asks him what he was reading and he shows her The Myth of Sisyphus. ‘Cool’, she says, ‘we just did a project on VD’.
Don’t feel bad. I once worked in the ground floor of the ESB for three weeks before I noticed. One day, on my lunch hour, I said to myself, “hmmm… 34th street… the Empire State Building must be around here somewh… oh.”
Hey, she’s smarter than the Trojans were.
(My excuse for my ignorance here is that I’m a liberal arts major, okay?)
I bought stamps in a small post office, looked at them and said, “huh, Joseph Priestley. Never heard of him, why is he being commemorated?”
The clerk said casually, “Oh, he invented oxygen.”
Pause. I said, “And it took this long before they put him on a stamp?”
But as you might have predicted, she just looked at me blankly. Sigh.
I do this. Because I take too long to drink the whole gallon and once you open it the shelf life drops dramatically. With two half gallons I don’t have to return to the store after the first half gallon runs out.
I’m the only one in my house who drinks it, but the shopping is only done every week or two. In that time, I’ll go through about a gallon. Milk, in my experience, will be a bit too yucky for me after 7 or 8 days of being opened. However, if left unopened, you’re good for at least 10 days, sometimes more. So two half gallons it is.
And the ninja strikes again. Yesterday. Because I didn’t read the whole damn thread. :smack:
Oh I thought of one my mom did when I was in high school. It’s more comical than stupid, really. She asked me what the report I was working on was about. I replied “Euthanasia.” She said: “What about them?”
Moses and Aaron on a stick!
Now that we seem to have moved from things overheard into the realm of statements told to us, there’s this one I’ve told here before:
I swear this is a true story. It was back in West Texas, and I had just returned from a trip to Mexico. I was sitting in my regular bar, when this lady of my acquaintance said hello and mentioned she hadn’t seen me for a while. I said I’d been in Mexico. She said, in all seriousness as I was soon to learn: “Where’s that?” I laughed at what I thought was her little joke, but it hurt her feelings enormously. She said in a hurtful tone of voice: “Well, I’m not smart like you.” Turns out she honestly did not know where Mexico was despite having been born and raised in Texas. Granted, she was not the smartest bulb in the bunch at the best of times, and I don’t think she had finished high school – she’d left to pursue a, um, professional career – but I was flummoxed by that revelation and felt bad to boot. She was not kidding, you had to know her.
What is her phone number?
I’m just asking for Skald.
Calm down!
A lady of your acquaintance, huh? 
[quote=“j666, post:250, topic:607599”]
Why would s/he ask you that?
I’m not certain if I am horrified or enchanted.
[QUOTE]
I wasn’t brave enough to ask her
I was once with my father at Autozone, he went in to buy a spark plug wrench.
The first employee that approached us was a very young looking teen girl, so he told her what he needed and she said ok hold on I’ll be right back(Autozone has most of their stock in the back so we assume shes going to get the wrench). When she reappeared she was carrying a tool box(we’re a bit puzzled at this point) from which she proceeded to remove a screwdriver and ask us if it was a wrench and when he said no she did the same with a pair of pliers. At this point my dad laughs when he realizes whats going on and opts to receive help from another employee.
Coming back from Mexico into the US (Laredo crossing), I needed to get my passport stamped and a new I-94 issued. I had the hardest time convincing the Customs Officer to give me the bloody stamp and the damn piece of paper… “but you’re an American, you don’t need an I-94!” “Look at my passport. It’s maroon, it’s not blue, it says ESPAÑA on the cover… does this eagle look like a bald eagle to you?” “But you’re American!” “If I was American I wouldn’t need a Visa to study in this country! Look, student Visa! I’m not moving until you give me that I-94!”
Her supervisor still wouldn’t believe I wasn’t American, but he told her to stamp the passport and give me the I-94 so the queue would get moving again.
We got stopped by a Marshal half an hour later. He asked for papers, took one look at my very-redheaded American friend and at me, said “oh, you’re American” and waved us on. So apparently in or about Laredo, I’m too white to be a foreigner and the only possible foreigners are Mexicans (some of whom are paler than I am, by the way).
My parents tried that. I love milk. I hate the taste of powdered milk. It did not matter what proportion she mixed, the second I tasted real milk cut with powdered, I put down my glass and refused to drink it. (I’d even go get a soda or drink water instead.) I probably put up with it for a while, but as I got older (like 13 or 14), I decided that milk wasn’t that expensive and my parents were only feeding two teenaged girls and my sister didn’t really like milk. Life is too short to drink powdered milk. They gave up after a year or so and just went for low-fat milk, which was fine by me.
Back in the 80s I was hanging out with some friends, and we were eating Buffalo wings. I asked why they came with celery and bleu cheese dressing. A friend said that that was a better way to cool your mouth down from the heat of the wings than water was. “Those Chinese”, he said, “so smart!”
Apparently Buffalo is in China.
Friends and family in that state constantly get told that they aren’t part of the USA.
I’m a taxi driver. Talking to a passenger one day about his job, after a while he says “so what do you do for a living?”
Cue moments silence as I look at him and he realises what he said…