What's the dumbest thing you've heard?

Two days ago I asked an information operator in the Washington D.C. area for the phone number of the office of Sen. William Frist. She said that she couldn’t find a listing for a Senator William Frist. There was not one listed. So I asked her to check under Dr. William Frist or just Bill Frist. She still couldn’t find anything. Then the following exchange took place:

Operator: What did you say he was?

Me: A Senator. He’s the Majority Leader – the Senator from Tennessee.

Operator: Well, if he’s the Senator from Tennessee, then why did you call information for Washington?


I do fine around people who have special needs in learning. But I just can’t tolerate people who seem to cultivate ignorance of the most basic things.

Damn it! Her vote will count as much as mine!!!

And it should.

Dumbest thing I’ve heard.

Someone calls me at home and goes “Are you home”?


Zoe, you didn’t call Washington state information by mistake, did you?

My first husband insisted that the women astronauts were sent up in the Space Shuttle for the sole purpose of providing sex for the male astronauts.

Well I think that information hires the biggest idiots in the world. I have so much trouble with them that I could go on and on. But the latest and greatet is that I was trying to find the post office in a nearby town. I’m in my car with my cell phone so I dial information and ask for the post office’s number. The guy tells me that the closest P.O. is in the neighboring town and he’d be happy to give me that number. I told him that nooooooo, there really is a post office in this town and I need that number and he insists that he has no listing for that town. I tell him I am absolutely sure there is a post office, pretty sure they have a phone, reasonably sure that it’s a listed number and thought perhaps information would know it. He just insisted on his ignorance so I hang up and call a friend that used to live in the town and she gave me directions. While I was waiting in line there the phone calls just kept coming in. I really wanted to call information back and give them the number for their future reference.

I use my cell phone a lot in the car and so I use information a lot. I swear they are the biggest idiots or some just refuse to help you. I’ll call right back and get someone else who finds the number in seconds and connects me. Geez.

Dumbest thing I’ve heard was from a friend’s girlfriend who insisted that all rich people take pure heroin. She said they’d only do it once a year to prevent addiction but it was the only thing they could do to get a kick, being rich and terribly bored.

We couldn’t convince her otherwise. She’s a medicine student just about to become a doctor, too…scary thought.

Maybe she has inside information that we just don’t get, but if I were terribly rich I’d be on the Bahamas nursing a cocktail or some such. Only once a year, of course.

An aunt of mine one time insisted whales aren’t animals because they’re mammals instead…

My brother recently told me that a friend of his bought a really expensive BMW and had it for two years without realizing it had a CD changer in the trunk. He’d been using one of those crappy tape-deck adapters with his Discman to listen to CDs the whole time and one day just happened to be putting something in his trunk and hit his head on it or something. ROFL!

I have a friend who said that the #1 killer of children is dishwashing liquid.

I said, “Wow! I didn’t know that.”

I had an interesting conversation with a girl at a wedding reception recently. It was the day of the shuttle accident, and a group of us were talking about the space program. She piped in with the following:

She was convinced that the Apollo astronauts had to land on the side of the moon opposite the Earth, otherwise they would have “fallen off”.

The moon was only about four or five miles around.

She was positive that astronauts had landed on the sun “way back in the 70’s”.

Side note: she was studying to be a pharmacist.

When I was in college, I met someone who was genuinely surprise to find out that I didn’t have horns under my yarmulke.

Zev Steinhardt

…oh, and I forgot the kicker. She was sure that the moon was only four or five miles around because as a child she’d seen Grover from Seseme Street drive all the way around it in a moon buggy.

Well where the heck did they go, Zev ???

(just kidding hon) ;j

I once heard my brother-in-laws ex say that her favorite movie star was " Charleston Hilton".

Legally, yes. Logically, no. If you don’t know that US Senators work in Washington DC, you shouldn’t be allowed to help decide who gets to be one.

English magician to be entomed in cheese.

I’d say that about takes the cake.

Cheeeeese cake that is.

That’s a joke son.

I keep a-pitchin’ but you ain’t a-catchinn’ boy!

From a customer “Why are you sending me a new bill - I didn’t pay the last one?”

“If we don’t have any leaders, who will we follow?”
1st Year Political Philosophy student discussing the concept of anarchy

On one occasion, my Dad & I were both arguing on the same side of the argument. Try as I might, I couldn’t get him to grasp the fact that I agreed with him, he wouldn’t leave me alone, & he insisted on continuing the argument by following me around the house.