Stupid things people have said to you

Every now and then people say things to me that make me go :dubious: . “If it weren’t for that horse”, etc. What stupid things have people said to you?

I once worked with a girl that was rather vain and self-centered. She once said “I think guys only like me for my body. I wish they’d like me for my face.”

Back when buffalo wings were a new thing, a group of friends was discussing why they came with celery and bleu cheese dressing. We decided that it was a more effective way of cutting the heat than drinking water. “Those Chinese”, said a friend, “They know what they’re doing.”

tdn maybe its Chinese buffaloes that have wings.

You can always wash it down with water buffalos, I suppose.

I was a senior in college, talking to a freshman. “I think,” she said, “that if you go through four years of college and you don’t have a ring on your finger by the time you graduate, something’s seriously wrong!”

–Marlitharn, class of 1996

Overheard from a girl during my first week of law school:

“We had better look our best. We’re going to meet our future husbands here over the next three years!”

“I love living here where it’s just assumed you’re a liberal and you don’t have to listen to other people’s opinions.”

One of these days, that same friend is just gonna make my head explode. Something like that will get stuck in my head, a blood vessel will burst in my head, and a week later they’ll find me dead in my bathroom.

One day at work, a guy from another shop (let’s call him Harelip Steve) came by.

Harelip Steve: I need to borrow a multimeter.*
Me: Okay, but why?
Harelip Steve: (points at big spools of fiber optic cable) You see this? All of this is fiber!
Me: Uh… okay, let me get you that multimeter.
*For those of you who aren’t electromechanically inclined, a multimeter measures voltage, amperage, and resistance in electrical circuits. They can also do other things, like test diodes.

This from my sister, regarding the fact that our cousin was bringing her week-old baby to a family gathering:

Her: They’re bringing the baby? But it’s eyes won’t even be opened yet!

Me: Umm…she’s a HUMAN baby, not a mouse…

I tell ya, it’s a good thing neither her nor her husband want kids.

Many years ago I worked in a movie theatre (with “love my face” girl), which was part of a chain. There were 7 theatres just in the city, many walking distance from each other. One day a guy poked his head in the door and asked if a particular movie was playing there. I guess he couldn’t read the 14 inch neon letters on the marquee.

I told him that no, it’s not playing here, but it’s playing just up the street at another theatre in the chain. It was maybe a 10 minute walk from there.

“So how come it’s not playin’ here, too? It’s no good?”

Yeah, how can you expect to see the kid?

Somehow this reminds me of a Doper (can’t remember who) who had recently adopted an infant of Asian descent, and who was asked “Oh, she’s so cute. Does she speak Chinese?”

I got into an elevator descending to the lobby, along with a girl & guy. The elevator stopped at a floor that was cleary NOT the lobby. The girl (who looked to be in her mid-20s) began to get off the elevator, but was stopped by the guy.

Guy: “No, dear. We don’t get off here, this isn’t the lobby.”

Girl: “But how can you tell?”

Guy points to the floor indicator above the door.

Guy: “Do you see those numbers? The one that’s lit up is the floor we’re on. And the ‘L’ (which wasn’t lit up) stands for Lobby.”

Girl: “Oh!!!”

Years ago I was working as a temp, and got an offer to work a temp job that could turn permanent. As it turns out, the guy, Fred, wanted to hire about a dozen people. He interviewed us all at the same time, while telling us about the business:

Fred: “This is a new kind of business, and we’re hoping to expand to all levels of the market, with offices througout the US and Europe. But you guys will be the first. You’ll be getting in on the ground floor.”

Clueless Girl: “Oh good, no elevators or escalators. I like that!”

Stopped Fred dead in his tracks.

I purchased a nice 1988 calendar on eBay that came at the beginning of March 2005. I was pointing out to someone that it was nice 1988 was a Leap Year, because the months from March on matched 2005 so I could use it. Idiot walking by says “No you can’t.”

Me: Why Not?
IWB: Because it’s not 1988.
Me: Yes, but the months are the same.
IWB: No, it’s not 1988. You can’t use a 1988 calendar in this year.
Me: But the months are set up the same.
IWB: No they’re not. That says 1988 and it’s 2005.

At this point I realized I was arguing with Rain Man. What does he think, I’ll get confused and think it’s really 1988 and try to go to the World Trade Center?

I hope I’m not the only one who STILL has no idea what you’re talking about or why this is stupid… :confused:

Because fiber optic cables carry light, not electricity.

I was talking on the phone with a woman the other day who wanted her husband’s medical specimens sent to another hospital. I asked her to send me the request by fax, and have it signed by her husband. She started to explain to me that she would have to go someplace else to fax it, and it would be difficult to take her husband along. I said, “Uh…can you have him sign it before you leave the house?” She said, “Oh yeah, I guess I could do that.”

I don’t think the lady was all that dumb, though, just a little flustered and thinking out loud. I say and do comparable things all the time. Once I made a copy of something because I was going to fax it to someone, but I wanted to keep it. :smack:

Not nearly as good as the ones mentioned here but I was walking past the lobster tank at WalMart and I overheard someone say, “Oh yuk, look at the color of those lobsters. They must be spoiled.”

What???

Trying to explain the interpretation of a IR spectrum to another person, stuff like “this region here will show a broad, strong peak for alcohols or carboxylic acids; this is the carbonyl region”, etc.

The student asks me, “Oh, so it scans the molecule from left to right?”

Yes, that’s right, because ALL molecules with carbonyls in them have the carbonyls dead smack in the centre. Yup. All of them.

:smack:


Similarly, on a project proposal for the forensic science degree, someone wanted to build a fantastic machine for scanning dead bodies. “Yeah, so it will scan the body, you know, with a laser or something, and it’ll display on a monitor. And the dead person’s DNA will show up as blue, but if someone else’s DNA is present, it’ll show up in green, or red, or whatever. Then you know where to take samples from!”

It was really, really hard not to laugh…

Not said to me, but said to my former roommate by a salesman who had come to her door (she was almost 30 and married at the time):

“Excuse me, sir…uh, ma’am…um, is your mother home?”

While walking to the mall from my apartment, best friend, her then boyfriend (now her spousal unit) and I crossed one of those intersections with the beeping noises. bf says, “What’s that noise for, anyway?”

Her then boyfriend responded, “That’s so that deaf people know when to cross the street.”

We still haven’t let him live that one down.

I once took a friend shooting for the first time. She attempted to load a .357 into the chamber of a .45.

Me: Are you reloading?
Her: Yeah. I opened up a new box.
Me: A new box of what?
Her: Well, you’ve got this box of .357. If it’s smaller, it ought to fit, right?
Me: Um, no. C’mere for a second. . . :smack:

But then again, maybe I ought to chalk it up to unfamiliarity. I probably didn’t teach her right.

Tripler
I’m taking the blame on this one. I’m the dumbass.