you’ve personally ever heard some one say (not counting endless replays of things like Quale spelling “hard” words):
I’ve got:
My ex-husband who has said things like “I’d be a great hockey player if I just knew how to skate”
or the guy at the cine-plex asking for a ticket to
“the ACE movie” - the cashier couldn’t understand which movie he wanted to see, he kept on repeating “The ACE movie, you know” and finally added “Me-an’-Ace to society”
so, other candidates???
When the whole Y2K/millenium thing was going on, I was standing with some people and I said, “Apparently people thought the world was coming to an end during the last change of millenium, too.”
The engineer I was talking to looked at me and said, “Really? When was that, anyway?”
As City Clerk of a small city, I had all sorts of dumb callers.
For instance, when the electric went out due to heavy storms, tons of people would call me and ask when the electricity was coming back on. (I’d politely refer them to the ELECTRIC company.)
One lady called and said, “My daughter has been asked to be the maid of honor in her cousin’s wedding. She’s only 13. Is this legal?” (I should have screwed with her and told her that she could, but only with a bridesmaid permit.)
And then there was the chick who had received a letter from her neighbors complaining about her dog pooping in their yards. She indignantly exclaimed, “I want you to know that I have NEVER let my dog defect on someone else’s yard!” (I had to resist asking the lady if they granted the dog asylum.)
I am a student at a high school. I hear more dumb stuff than any other person here.
One example:
Coach: “We’ve received an anonymous donation for $200.”
Student: “Fo’ real? Who’s it from?”
Oh, there’s more. It always seems to be that same person, too.
When my family was vacationing on the Little Missouri River in Arkansas, we stopped at one of the “scenic overlook” places on the side of a mountain looking down at the 300-foot tall Lake Greeson Narrows dam. My mom looked at the lake and the huge concrete edifice, and said…
“Do you think this is a natural lake?”
I replied, “Yeah, there was a 200-foot wall of water there for millions of years, then the Army Engineers came along in the '30s and built the dam to stop the boats from falling off the edge.” :rolleyes:
I pray that it’s not true that the intelligence comes from the mother’s side of the family.
One of my best and oldest friends has a propensity for saying really, really dumb things…the kind of things many of us may think, but then we correct ourselves mentally and remain tight-lipped. She, however, well…here’s some examples:
[li]Someone wrote “93 Rules!” in her yearbook (93 was her year of graduation), and she asked, “What are the 93 rules?” She did realize the answer just about as she was saying it, however.[/li]
[li]She wanted to buy tropical fish, and I, being an enthusiast, was recommending guppies as a starter species for her. I told her that they tended to overbreed, however, so she asked, “Well, can’t you get them fixed?” Now, what vet wants THAT job?![/li]
[li]While passing by muscle beach, I grimaced and said I couldn’t stand the over-beefed look of the typically vain men there. I told her, “I’m not really attracted to a man who can’t even touch his own elbows,” meaning, reaching across his chest to touch left elbow with right hand, etc. She said, “Yeah! …oh, wait…?!” …as she was trying to touch her right elbow with her right hand. Hmmm…[/li]
[li]While shopping in a music store, she excitedly said, “Oooh! Ooh! Do you think they have that song? You know, that song by that guy? …That they play on the radio?” I about busted a gut I laughed so hard at that one.[/li]
And despite all that, she is a very literate and educated young lady. She is entertaining to have around, too. 
Hey everyone…back from moving-back-to-campus hiatus
The dumbest thing I’ve heard someone ask for…well, there are 2. I worked in a small new and used bookstore in rural Missouri the summer after my senior year in high school. One day, a guy walked in and asked with all seriousness: “So…do you all sell chainsaws?” The answer was a resounding NO.
A couple of weeks later, different guy. “Hey. Do you guys sell bass strings?”
(me thinking) Did you even READ the sign when you came in the door?? This is the BOOK NOOK. Not the music store, the BOOK Nook. :rolleyes:
Also, see my signature for one of my very intelligent friend’s best brain farts made verbal.
No lie, years ago I worked at a Sohio gas station. (I wonder if anyone remembers those.) A customer pulled in and asked me if we accepted Sohio credit cards. Well, yes, I suppose we would, duh.
My cousin was having a going away party before she went abroad to study in London. A friend of the family asked: “Wow, london, How long will it take to get there?”
She replied 8 hours…
“Oh…(thoughtful pause) is that driving or flying?”
Which may not seem too dumb if we lived in England. But we live in NEW England.
On an eighth grade field trip to Valley Forge, we watched a short movie about Washington’s winter there. The instructor showing the movie told us that the dialog was taken from contemporary writings and letters, so it reflected what Washington and his troops might really have spoken there at the time. One kid asked, “Are those the real voices, too?”
My old roommate and I were talking about two of our friends who had moved away, and how much we’d like to visit them. One moved to San Francisco, and the other to Miami. We were in New York. I could almost see the light bulb go on over her head when she said “We could go to both! Is California on the way to Florida?” I laughed and said yes, they were right next to each other. I really, really, thought she was joking. “Oh,” she said, “maybe we could rent a car!”
Sure.
Another time I told her that the Greek Mafia was called the Mafiapolous as a joke, and a few days I heard her repeat that back to her father.
Once in high school, we took a test and one of the questions was something like: On a map, if an inch equals 50 miles, and Smithtown and Jonestown are half an inch apart, how many miles would you have to travel to get from one to the other? After the test, she says to me "How the hell am I supposed to know that? I’ve never even heard of those towns!
Rose
I think I may know that person. We’ve had so many people like that at my own high school. 
Yeah, I think that the guy that orestes543 and AETBOND417 are reffering to went to my high school, too. This guy was TWENTY for cryin’ out loud and in high school for the FIFTH year. Yikes. Just drop out already and free up a desk, OK?
A friend worked in one of those educational toy stores that sold science-y type stuff for kids. One toy was a see-through plastic thing with all these little chambers and tunnels in it for building your own ant colony. One lady picked it up, exammed the shrink wrapped box closely and asked:
“So are the ants included in this kit?”
I work for a company that administers standardized tests. One mother, disappointed in her kid’s results, actually asked me, “But don’t most children score in the 75th percentile or better?”
My other favorite stupid question has actually been asked by two different, otherwise reasonably intelligent people. They asked if I’ve seen a particular TV show, and when I told them I don’t have a television, they asked, “Well, do you have a VCR?” Oh yeah, I just love listening to tapes rewind!
I used to know someone who taught a class at a university planetarium. At the end of one lecture he noted that the class would be looking through the telescope following week if it wasn’t cloudy. Someone asked him, “But isn’t there some kind of filter that lets you look through the clouds?”
The dumbest question ever was posed by myself a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know what came over me. I walked into a post office I had never been in before, got to the window, and in a misguided attempt at politeness asked “Can I buy stamps here?” The man looked at me like he was trying to find the lobotomy scars on my head.
“I guess if you give rats a lethal dose of anything they will die.”
I have a side business making jewelry and selling it at community festivals on the weekends. I usually take all my beads, wire, and tools along and make stuff while I’m sitting in my booth.
This past 4th of July a guy came along the row of vendors handing out flyers for his flea/craft market. I told him that I don’t do flea markets or craft shows anymore because my stuff doesn’t sell well at them; I do better at art and music festivals where people are looking for something special. He looked at my displays and commented that yes, my stuff seemed more “creative” (whatever that means).
Then he said, “But you don’t make all this stuff yourself.” Mind you, I had several finished, uncarded pairs of earrings in front of me; beads, components, and tools spread out on the table; and even a pair of pliers in one hand and a partially finished earring in the other, which I had been working on while I was talking to him.
In response, I merely held up what was in my hands so he could see it a little better. Talk about backpedaling.
Later, I wondered, was that a compliment or an insult? “Gee, this stuff looks so professional, it should be in the window at Tiffany’s! You’re too good to be seeling this stuff in the street!” or “Some other talented artisan makes this stuff and you must just be the troll who sits in the booth.”
Geez!!
A friend of mine called me up on the phone. About 5 minutes into the conversation he asked “so where are you any way?”. I almost answered him.
I went to high school with this chick who had a knack for saying just the stooopidest things, ex.
Shannon: “Mr Golly, is France in Europe?”
Mr. Golly: “No Shannon, it moved to South America”
Shannon: " Nuh, uh"
English class during a spelling test
Ms. Stinson: (calls out word to be spelled)
Shannon: “Uh, Ms. Stinson how do you spell that?”
My husband worked at Pier 1 during college (that must be where the wellspring of hate comes from), he says some lady came up to him with a wicker basket she had found and asked him “Will my dog fit in this?”