"Har har! You get drunk on only one bottle of x beer…"
Because it’s so much smarter to get drunk on 5, 10, 15 times the amount.
My dad bought a used car with a damaged hood. He managed to get another hood at a junkyard. The color was close but didn’t quite match. When his friend (who’d never seen the car before) came over, they had the following exchange.
Friend: That hood isn’t the same the color red as the rest of the car.
Dad: Yeah, I know. The hood came from a junkyard.
Friend (not sarcastically): Wow, I wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t told me.
Yeah, dad’s got some dim bulbs for friends.
Getting drunk off one beer does sort of limit your drinking options for the night.
It would be one hell of a money saver if I could get drunk on only one bottle of beer!
It depends on the objective:
Objective: Get drunk. Drunk on one beer = good.
Objective: Enjoy delicious but alcoholic beverages. Drunk on one beer = bad.
I think my personal record for drinking and walking home was 17-18 beers, but I was in college at the time and we’re allowed to be dumb then.
You want dumb? I had a customer on the phone the other day and we had the following snippet of conversation:
Idiot customer: Ok, so I need tissue, but I don’t need a whole bunch. I see that you have the “12 sheet folds”
Me: Yes, if you don’t need a whole lot of tissue, that would be the way to go.
IC: Ok, so how many sheets of tissue comes in the 12 sheet fold?
ME: :dubious: Well, I have to be honest with you – 12 sheets come in the 12 sheet folds. And just in case you’re also interested in the solid colours, the 24 sheet folds have 24 sheets.
IC: Oh, ok, so 12 sheets come in the 12 sheet fold, and 24 in the 24 sheet fold?
ME: Yes, ma’am.
IC: Ooooooh, I like the Tapestry Green tissue, it’s really pretty, but what colour is it?
ME: :dubious:
:eek: Uhm, ma’am? I am not sure what you are asking – the tapestry GREEN tissue is green. The picture in the catalog and on the website are pretty true to life if you were asking if it looks the same in real life (some of our tissues are a bit lighter or darker than the pictures look, so that would be a valid question)
IC: No – I mean, what colour is it? Like, is it yellow or what?
But, yeh, making fun of someone for being a lightweight? Kinda dumb.
Yeah, 12 = 12 and 24 = 24 is pretty lame. But on the color issue, there is such a thing as color blindness. I used to work with a guy who couldn’t distinguish some colors from each other at all, and ISTR that yellow or green was one of them. And he worked with us on web page design! When we realized the problem it was actually beneficial as we would then run all web pages by him to make sure that any color-blind customer would not have difficulties.
Standard answer: “Yes, and if you weren’t such an idiot you would have discovered that I get slutty after two beers.”
Can I buy you a drink?
Only if I can buy her the second. 
Virtual beer. Awesome.
Actually, that tissue paper looks quite yellow on my monitor… not green at all. I’d probably have asked “Is the Tapestry Green as yellow as it looks on my screen, or is it greener in real life?”
So it’s actually a rather legit question, just poorly phrased.
My stupid comment of the day came from our software vendor - “Can you clarify for me what Cognos is?”. Ummmm… you mean that vital program that interfaces with the last system you sold us, just last year? That one? I’m just waiting on the followup question “And what is this Oracle you reference here?”. :rolleyes:
and now some virtural slutty?
I get this stupid comment too!
“What a bummer, you get drunk on very little.”
“Yeah, imagine how much you have to drink to make me cute.”
Do you suppose IC thinks “green” means environmentally friendly, and is completely unaware “green” is the name of an actual freakin’ color that inspired the ecology nickname? If so, then IC is an idiot.
(It looks yellow on my monitor, too. )
I have to agree with this. The linked tissue looks more like a margarine/cream off-white than a green of any kind.
Thirded. On both monitors, no less.
Heh – just curious, how many of you who are looking at that tissue and seeing yellow took the hue test I linked to the other day? That tissue is most def green. It is almost olive green, in fact.
FTR, all of our “green” items (eco-friendly) are listed as such – and the way she worded her question, I am sure she did not mean that. Perhaps I am jaded (get it, jade is a shade of green, too? hahaha, I crack myself up!) because this is not the first time I have had a customer ask me this kind of thing.
I have had customers ask me “what colour is the aqua tissue?” as well. I don’t mind the occasional “do you recommend the scarlet or the red tissue?” as those two tissues IRL are **indistinguishable to the average person.
**When we started carrying the scarlet, we had a look at them side by side – out of about 30 people, only 3 of us saw any difference.
:: nods ::
On my monitor, it looks yellowish-beige with just a hint of green. Monitors differ a LOT, especially consumer monitors that haven’t been colour-calibrated. A colour-book reference number would be very useful.
Wow. Those two look very different on my monitor. The scarlet has almost a brown/orange tinge to it, and the red is painfully pink.