Ambassador to the Stars

Aliens from another galaxy arrive, and you must choose a person to act as sole representative of Planet Earth. These aliens outmatch us incredibly when it comes to technology and they seem to be peaceful enough, so we want to make a good impression on them.
Who would you pick as Earth’s Ambassador?

Chuck Norris

We want someone with a background in science, the experience of a politician, and the demeanor of a teacher – and the CEO of the American Association for the Advancement of Science is Rush Holt Jr, the guy who beat Watson at Jeopardy.

William Shatner. He’s had plenty of experience with new life and new civilizations.

Rob Ford

Me. But be warned, I’m going with them when they pull up stakes.

This is my house.

Me, of course. Then I would peacefully sell most of the male population off as slaves and then enslave the rest and make all the females my harem and make billions of baby mes and then I will be greater than Genghis Khan.

We are picking an ambassador, not an emperor, but thanx for playing.

Thank you for the first(and so far only) serious candidate. Not a bad rep if we want to convince them we are worth anything.

I’m not sure a deep knowledge of science is that important for an Ambassador.
I’d pick Obama - he stays calm in all sorts of situations, he can think on his feet, he has diplomatic experience, and he’s smart.
Plus he’s been dealing with hostile alien life forms for 7 years now.

Obama, he’s managed to not kill any Republicans so far, after all. Hasn’t slapped or throttled anyone. Seems a steady guy and has lots of experience making nice with foreign leaders!

What about other world leaders? Remember-this person is supposed to represent the whole world.

Hell, they might prefer Larry the Cable Guy.

Definitely someone known for their charisma rather than their scientific knowledge, so I think politicians are the best group to look at. This probably makes me US-centric, but the people who come to mind when I think “charisma” are mainly American (Merkel, for example, is a fantastic leader, but not quite the . . . baby kissing, hand shaking people pleaser I’m looking for). Apart from Obama, Bill Clinton is another guy who seems to get along well with people - no matter what you think of his politics, the man’s a quintessential extravert.

Whoever is the current UN top 3. Plenty of experience (one hopes, anyways) of dealing with different cultures and ideologies. A staff of linguists and anthropologists to assist.

And a genius Jesuit preist, ala The Sparrow, just for kicks

But the Ambassador might need to understand enough science to know what kind of questions to ask. How about Neil Degrasse Tyson?

I was just going to say that the (current) Pope might not be a bad choice.

Although I’m not sure it’s fair to have the leader of a particular subset of humanity (like the USA or the RCC) be the official representative of all humanity.

Using same reasoning, Neil deGrasse Tyson, with the added bonus of his calming speaking voice.

David Attenborough. Intelligent, grounded, thoughtful, inspires trust, used to dealing with a wide variety of people and cultures, puts all his focus into learning things and getting things done rather than into grandstanding. Also, sincere. I wouldn’t send a politician because almost all of them are fake as fuck, by necessity where not by nature, and I’m assuming the aliens may well also be good at spotting fakery.

Duh…