Hypothetically speaking 
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We need someone, on behalf of the entire Earth, to communicate with aliens (language is not a factor). Who would you pick?
I was thinking Stephen Hawking. That’s the only decent candidate I could think of.
They have to be currently living, too, so Lennon is out of the question.
Cool! I’ll check my schedule. When do they arrive?
Stephen Hawking? Why? WHY WHY WHY? He’d be a terrible conversationalist. I’m a human and I wouldn’t want to be talking to him for extended periods of time even over non-trivial things like intergalactic trade and warfare.
And yeah, Lenin is dead. Why would he have been such a great choice anyway?
My vote goes to some hot chick, like Christina Aguilera or Naomi Watts. Because if they see our “leader” is someone that looks that damn fine, they will think “hell, I can’t blow this world to pieces with my Super Happy Fun Death Bubble Rainbow Star. Best just start up international pr0n trade with them.”
You know it would end up being some dignitary square like Coffee A. Naan.
I think the OP meant John Lennon. Correct me if I’m wrong.
For me, there’s only one logical choice.
I hit “reply to post” instead of “reply to thread” by accident. I didn’t mean to imply a connection between Rummy and the Walrus.
McNeal, of course.
I second the suggestion of Stephen Hawking. After all, if the aliens turn out to be hostile, he could just use his robotic exoskeleton to take care of the situation.
Perhaps the aliens medical science is vastly superior to ours, and they could do ol’ Steve a good turn and fix him up. Seems like negotiations would proceed more smoothly if he didn’t have to rely on his externals for communication. Heck, they might even be telepathic.
Suzette Haden Elgin or Octavia Butler, if I wanted a successful First Contact. (Success to me meaning we have some clue as to why we’ve been contacted, hostilities do not commence immediately, we have some hope of negotiating further contact, etc etc.)
As science fiction writers, they have already explored pros and cons of First Contact situations, and have the required level of flexibility without having such open minds their brains fall out. I’d especially push for Ms. Elgin, as her background in linguistics and some of the concepts presented in her “Native Tongue” trilogy would, I think, lessen the possibilities and the impacts of miscommunication. You said language was not an issue but…say lets assume the language issue is taken care of by cute little translating machines the aliens brought with them. This still does not help us infer intentions and reasons from question and answer patterns. There are ways to interrogate people that don’t automatically make them angry, and I suspect Ms. Elgin is an expert.
Steven Hawking may be our best mathematical mind, but I would posit that since he barely interfaces with the rest of us, he may not be a good choice for our direct interface with aliens.
Steve Martin.
NotPauly Shore.
Well it really depends on what kind of aliens we are talking about and what we want to impress them with.
If they are overtly aggressive and will shoot first and ask later we should send BUSH. (Bring 'em on my ass)
If they are aggressive but maybe impressionable I would send someone pretty BIG and STRONG. Don’t want to appear weak. Some Marine General ?
If they are about to invade earth but they can be bought off… well I would send some very hot chick to convince them. Gisele Bundchen ?
Finally if they are just probing and exploring earth I would send a good diplomat and one of the most decent humans… MANDELA.
Maybe Jimmy Carter…he seems like a pretty decent diplomat. (If not a very good leader.)
Or a really charismatic cult leader…he might convince the aliens to make us their leaders! (Well, actually, he’d probably just have them make him the new leader. So scratch that.)
Look, it doesn’t really matter who we pick to first answer to answer the overtures of visiting aliens from Beyond Space, 'cos Q.E.D. will get there first.
Mandela would be perfect. It’s a pity that Mother Teresa isn’t around any more – they could be a team.
I thought Paul was the Walrus . . . .
Well, I’d bet dollars to donuts that the Rev. Jesse Jackson would be clamoring to be spokesperson - even offering to be the spokesperson for the disinfranchised aliens.
I don’t think a religious figure is the right place to start. There would be an awful lot to explain that somehow I don’t think an alien culture would get.
How about Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith?
No no wait, I’ve got it… Michael Dorn in full Worf getup… that oughtta confuse the hell out of them.
Seriously… why not the Secretary-General of the U.N.? Does the earth have a more logical ambassador?
So, the designated representative goes up to the alien leader, introduces himself, and begins a long speech about how thrilled we are to see them… how it’s inspiring to discover that we’re not alone in the universe… how we look forward to all sorts of wonderful cultural exchanges and trade… how the realization that there are other civilizations will help us bring peace to our own troubled society… blah, blah, blah.
The aliens sit quietly, listening. A couple of them are working with a small device, perhaps taking notes.
The representative finally finishes.
The alien leader stands up, steps to the mike, and says “Uh… thanks for all the kind words, but we’ve been looking over our charts, and we’re in the wrong solar system. We’ll get out of your hair now. Sorry for causing a hassle.”
The aliens get back in their lander and take off… never to be seen again.