My favorite line about “A Horse With No Name” is courtesy of Randy Newman.
He says the song’s about this kid who thinks he’s taken acid…
And let’s not forget the travesty that is “Ventura Highway”. I’m not posting any lyrics, cause there’s a danger I might get that particular ear worm, and that’d be bad bad bad.
I would like to remark that Mr. Bix is in the running for Whoosh o’ the Week.
That was the redeeming part of this thread…
You don’t actually know hatred of those two songs until you’ve had to play them twice a night four nights a week. It’s just not what a guitar was meant to do.
Thanks for reminding me.
Bastards.
I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert, you can remember your name
'Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain
OK, I have a number of problems with this.
• How the hell do you raise a horse with no name? How do you call it when it’s time to eat? What if you get off the horse to take a pee behind a cactus and the horse gets away? How are you going to call it back, Sonny Jim? Huh?
• Yeah, it feels good to get out of the rain. Till you’ve spent a few days in the blazing 150º heat. Then you’ll miss the rain.
• So, when you’re not in the desert you tend to forget your name? I’d get to a doctor about this.
• No one for to give you no pain? Do cactii, lizards, snakes, and grizzled old var-mints guarding their gold mines mean nothing to you?!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for making my day just a little bit better. Did you all know that, thanks to America, we also have “Muskrat Love”? You can blame Captain and Tenille, bless their hearts, all you want, but America is responsible for that, the worst song ever! But “Horse with no Name” does run a close second, followed by “Ventura Highway”.
I do like “Sister Goldenhair” though. Even though I’m of an age, I had no idea that was America.
Ventura highway, in the suuuuunshiiiine…
Where the days are longer, the nights are stronger than moooonshiiiine.
Your gonna go, I knoooooooooow.
(Love those alligator lizards in the air!)
Doo doo doo doo…
We used to laugh, we used to cry.
We used to bow our heads then, wonder why.
I need you…
Back in 1995, Howard Stern did one of his “funerals” in Cleveland, when his show on WNCX beat rivals WMMS and WMJI in the ratings. He held it in front of Tiffany’s, a strip club down in the Flats, and a friend and I went. He had America there as “special guests,” and they performed a tribute to Howard’s producer, Gary, called “A Boy With Horse Teeth.” It was a great tribute to their ability to not take themselves seriously.
Damn, and my sig all full up.
I think Dave ripped that one off Lea Delaria.
Preach it! First thing I thought of when I saw where this was heading!
Anything played 300 trillion times a day kind of got under one’s skin. Especially a song as inane as that one.
Can you believe it was a major, major hit?
Retch.
Waiting patiently for the following pit threads to crop up:[ul][]Bite the big one, Asia[]You Suck! Europe[]Kiss my Ass, Kansas[]Drink Piss, Paris[]Fickst Du, Berlin[]Blow Me! Chicago[/ul]
Heads (America):
"I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert, they can remember your name
'Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain
Laa laaa la la la la "
Versus
Tails (The Byrds):
"Oh, I’d catch a glimpse of her every once in a while…Takin’ her meal, or bathin. A fine lady…
Well I got her, and I’m pullin’ on her…I take this chance and I jump up on her…Me holding on…
And when I do I’ll give her my brand
And we’ll be friends for life
She’ll be just like a wife
I’m gonna’ catch that horse if I can"
Flips coin…
Tails, hands down. Bestiality always rates higher on the annoyance chart.
John, you missed a few:
[ul][]Chilliwack, Up Yours![]Alabama, Get Bent.[]Boston, Piss Off![]Lick My Love Pump, Dresden.[]Go To Hell, Nazareth![]Sod Off, Dubliners![/ul]
ok I must admit to a certain mischievous glint in my eye when I posted that thread title.
When that op first occurred to me I decided I must not post it on any account no matter how funny I personally thought it was.
But it was like I was possessed by an evil demon. The idea took hold and gnawed away at me until I had no control over it. As I typed it I had no control over my fingers. I apologise for any offence I may have caused.
On the plus side, it seems I may have started a trend. I like JohnBckWLD and Larry Mudd’s ideas above.
hmm…Drink my Shit, Boston
Jesus! Three separate posters, and none of you got it right!
To wit:
“Laaa, laaaa, la la la la la”
Cannot nobody count around here???
Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it’s only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together
[snip]
So happy together
How is the weather
So happy together
We’re happy together
So happy together
Happy together
So happy together
So happy together
What a way to wreck a great song. How is the weather?? What the fuck are you talking about?
Ventura Highway also gave us this:
Sorry boy, but I’ve been hit by purple rain.
Aw, come on, Joe, you can always change your name.
Thanks a lot, son, just the same.
How fuckingly insipid. If it wasn’t for Steve Miller’s lyrics, America would easily capture the Worst Words Ever Written trophy.
Since we’re going all over the place, I nominate MacArthur Park.
Someone left the cake out in the rain…
I don’t think I can take it, because it took so long to bake it…
and I’ll never have that recipe again…
Oh noo… Oh nooo… Oh noooOOOooooO!
You know, I don’t think they baked that one quite long enough.
Happy Together is a great song? Why do I have a sudden urge to bang iron spikes into my ears with a brick when can’t avoid exposure to it, then? 