American Ninja Warrior

Cafe Society
61

Hey, it’s on, doncha know. :slight_smile:

All right, the ground rules. I’ll put this all in a single post so you can refer to it throughout the season. Three-member teams, one female. For the first three runs, the members (which I’ll designate “leadoff”, “woman”, and “anchor” for simplicity) always compete in the same order. If the teams split the first two rounds, the anchor leg decides the winner of the match; the same is true of the same team wins all three rounds. If one wins the first two and the other the anchor, both teams get to choose a member for the tiebreaker round.

A competitor if out if he touches the water after completely losing his grip, or, if there is no water, if he touches the ground. As long as he’s holding onto something, contact with the water is considered “incidental” and the run continues (something there’s absolutely no mistaking as the announcers mentioned it about a hundred freaking times).

If neither competitor goes out, the winner is the first to complete the course by hitting the buzzer (which I’ll call "finish). If one goes out and his opponent clears the obstacle he went out on, he wins (“distance”). If both go out on the same obstacle, the winner is the one who reached it first (“speed”).

Each stage has four teams. For the first round, they’re paired off in one match each. In the second round, the winner of the first match faces the loser of the second, and vice versa; the winners of the second round meet in the relay showdown. Note that this means the first round is strictly for placement; the winners gain no advantage whatsoever in the second round other than facing a (theoretically) easier opponent. The RS takes place on an extended course, with each member responsible for taking on three of the nine obstacles (they can go in any order), and I presume it follows the same rules for winning as the previous rounds.

The winners of the qualifying rounds compete head-to-head for the championship. So I guess that means there are 16 teams in all, although of course I welcome corrections.

So there you have it. And please note that I managed to remain completely neutral throughout this entire post and refrain from throwing my tedious opinions all over the place. (That’ll come later! :D)

62

[L-leadoff, W-woman, A-anchor, T-tiebreaker]

Obstacles: Sonic Swing, Log Grip, Swing Jump, Dancing Stones, Pole Grasper, Warped Wall, Dueling Salmon Ladders, Tilting Ladders, Tower Climb

Storm Team: Rob Moravsky, Marybeth Wang, Joe Moravsky
Average Jo Jo’s: Jimmy Bogle Jr., Caitlin Shukwit, Jo Jo Bynum
Team TNT: Adam Arnold, Joyce Shahboz, Travis Rosen
G-Force: Travis Brewer, Jessie Graff, Nicholas Coolridge

= 1st match: Storm Team vs. Average Jo Jo’s =
L: Bogle Jr. def. R.Moravsky (distance) - “The Adonis”, never good on the balance obstacles, stumbles on Dancing Stones. Bogle had already cleared Pole Grasper at this point.
W: Wang def. Shukwit (distance) - Wang was clearly the stronger competitor and kept pulling further away. Shukwit did her best but ran out of gas on Pole Grasper.
A: J.Moravsky def. Bynum (finish) - A thrilling back-and-forth contest. Bynum actually made it to Warped Wall first but failed two attempts due to fatigue. Moravsky missed his first attempt but made good on the second.
STORM TEAM WINS

= 2nd match: Team TNT vs. G-Force =
L: Brewer def. Arnold (distance) - Close one…Arnold completely messes up Dancing Stones; Brewer just manages to get through.
W: Graff def. Shahboz (finish) - A laugher. Shahboz was completely clueless on Swing Jump, allowing Graff to cruise all the way to the buzzer.
A: Rosen def. Coolridge (finish) - A blazingly fast duel decided, much like the last anchor contest, on stamina. Coolridge took two shots at Warped Wall but couldn’t make either count, and Rosen’s one-and-done sealed it.
T: Arnold def. Brewer (distance) - ANW giveth, and ANW taketh away…and vice versa. Arnold makes it through Dancing Stones cleanly; Brewer does an impressive wipeout.
TEAM TNT WINS

= 3rd match: Storm Team vs. G-Force =
L: Brewer def. R.Moravsky (finish) - Moravsky leads early but hesitates badly on Dancing Stones, and Brewer surges ahead and doesn’t look back. He actually blocks his opponent on Pole Grasper en route to a decisive win.
W: Graff def. Wang (finish) - It’s a contest, but Wang’s way too much tentativeness on Dancing Stones dooms her chances.
A: J.Moravsky def. Coolridge (finish) - Run of the day! Another speed burner, capped off with both men making it up the wall and the Weatherman prevailing by under a second.
T: J.Moravsky def. Coolridge (distance) - It seems like the emotion and pressure are simply too much for Coolridge. Has the lead going into Pole Grasper and just flat-out flubs the dismount.
STORM TEAM WINS

= 4th match: Team TNT vs. Average Jo Jo’s =
Aw, geez, are we actually going to have this “while we were away” nonsense? Here?? They’re ALL good, guys, you don’t need to give the bum’s rush to anyone! Even more egregious because we already know the order they’re going, because it’s the same every time, so who the hell do they think they are fooling. Hmph. Reality TV.
L: Arnold def. Bogle Jr. (distance) - Bogle falls behind at Dancing Stones and promptly bites off way more than he can chew at Pole Grasper. He falls, Arnold doesn’t, Arnold prevails.
W: Shahboz def. Shukwit (speed) - Our first double-dip of the competition, with both ladies taking a splash at Swing Jump. Whoever’s in charge of officiating rules that Shahboz made it to the obstacle first (it didn’t look like it to me), so she gets the nod.
A: Rosen def. Bynum (finish) - It was pretty close up to Pole Grasper, where Bynum simply seemed to run out of steam. Gets up the wall this time, but too little, too late.
It’s a clean sweep! That’s…an accomplishment. I guess.
TEAM TNT WINS

= Final: Storm Team vs. Team TNT (both WLA) =
Fairly tight going into Swing Jump. Shahboz, to her credit, actually gets through (with what looked like a fairly risky jump!) but still makes the tag well after Wang. Arnold wastes no time closing the gap, powering through Dancing Stones and Pole Grasper, by far The Adonis’ two weakest obstacles, and closing the gap. So now it’s down two very strong competitors who haven’t lost a round today, and man is it ever tight, and they hit the last obstacle at the same time…

…and somehow, Rosen is just better. Not that close.
TEAM TNT WINS

–Individual evaluations–
Rob Moravsky (0-2): The classic case of good getting beaten by really good. No knock on him…he did his best and he was focused…but it’s clear he simply doesn’t have the chops to stand up to the real ANW stars.
Marybeth Wang (1-1): Not much to say about her. Did as good as could be expected.
Joe Moravsky (3-0): An impact player, to be sure, but IMO one of those cases where he’s “not as good as the record indicates”. He was very lucky to have pulled out that round 2 double-tap.
Jimmy Bogle Jr. (1-1): Shown that he can beat second-tier talents like The Adonis, but otherwise made no real impact.
Caitlin Shukwit (0-2): Ms. Irrelevant, and neatly encapsulates my concerns about the strength of the female contingent. I have a feeling she’s going to have company pretty soon.
Jo Jo Bynum (0-2): The fifty percent minus one man. Made it interesting, but just didn’t have enough to topple the giants.
Adam Arnold (2-1): Faltered early, recovered, and ultimately contributed to the team’s success. A very solid outing.
Joyce Shahboz (1-1): Ugh. If she’s actually better than Shukwit, I’ve yet to see any evidence of it.
Travis Rosen (2-0): Stayed calm, kept up the pace, did what it took to win, and stepped up when it counted the most. What more could you want.
Travis Brewer (2-1): Deserves mad props just for gutting out a round 2 win so soon after his tiebreaker run.
Jessie Graff (2-0): She did her part. Showed why she’s one of the strongest female ninjas…and, unfortunately, also showed why that doesn’t mean a hill of beans in this contest.
Nicholas Coolridge (0-3): Snakebitten. Played his heart out and just came up a day late and a dollar short every time. I think he simply didn’t realize how demanding this contest was and it threw him off just enough to give the edge to his opponents. I’d like to see him again to get some much-deserved redemption.

MVP picks: Brewer, Graff, Rosen

Looking back on this night, the one thing that stood out for me is just how important the anchor is. You can prevail with a weak leadoff man or woman, but if the clutch hitter isn’t up to the task, you’re doomed. Heck, look at G-Force, which was an 80% winner with the 1-pointers and still got clobbered. And even if your 1-pointers stink up the joint, as long as your dad can beat up their dad, he can do it again and put a W on your side. This is one of those weird contests where not only does one man often carry the team on his back, he’s SUPPOSED to.

As for the first round being (largely) meaningless…y’know what, I’m actually hoping that it does create a big blowup somewhere along the line. It’d be poetic justice. “What, you actually took this seriously? Did you learn nothing from Geoff Britten?”

63

This first episode was already broadcast as a preview a few weeks ago. I’m looking forward to next week’s episode.

64

[A bit late because I just switched to a new cable provider, and it took a while to get recording down. Had to pick up the repeat.]

So, there’s going to be six of these. Cool.

PRELIM #2

Obstacles: Sonic Swing, Log Grip, Swing Jump, Dancing Stones, Bungee Road, Warped Wall, Dueling Salmon Ladders, Tilting Ladders, Tower Climb

Golden Hearts: Grant McCartney, Natalie Duran, Neil Craver
Norcal Ninjas: Sean Noble, Rachel Mulvaney, David Campbell
Team Midoryama: Dan Yager, Meagan Martin, Ian Dory
Towers of Power: Dan Polizzi, Selena Laniel, Brandon Mears

= 1st match: Golden Hearts vs. Norcal Ninjas =
L: McCartney def. Noble (finish) - Noble builds an early lead but gets tied up on Bungee Road, which his opponent has no trouble with, and even a late surge at the wall can’t save him. Pretty sobering reminder of how one obstacle can make all the difference in the world.
W: Duran def. Mulvaney (distance) - Yeah, let’s just throw this one in there, why not? It’s mercifully quick, as Mulvaney flubs the transition at Swing Jump and crashes.
A: Craver def. Campbell (finish) - Campbell’s hopes are crushed immediately when he misses the jump at Sonic Swing. Craver expends just as much energy as he needs to hit the buzzer first.
Four-owe!! Suh-weep!! Absolute disaster for the Norcal Nin…oh, wait, this is the almost completely meaningless placement round. Never mind. :slight_smile:
GOLDEN HEARTS WINS

= 2nd match: Team Midoryama vs. Towers of Power =
L: Polizzi def. Yager (finish) - Battle of the Dans. Luckily neither of them is wearing a pink gi, so it shouldn’t be too much of a slaughter. Ahem…another one which turned on a botched transition at Swing Jump, by Yager. He fights hard to close the gap, but a failed Warped Wall attempt is the nail in the coffin.
W: Martin def. Laniel (distance) - To her credit, Laniel looked good for a while; she even had a sizable lead going into Dancing Stones. Alas, that’s as close as she’d ever get, as she simply loses her footing and goes out on an uncomfortable-looking bellyflop. Martin actually went on to finish the whole shebang, which Gbajabiamila chalks up to the pride of the Warped Wall, which Martin confirms to be the truth. Broken clock, folks, broken clock.
A: Dory def. Mears (finish) - A seesaw battle where we both men’s strengths and weaknesses are on display. Dory is better where it counts (i.e. the last two obstacles) and gets a clean win.
TEAM MIDORYAMA WINS

= 3rd match: Golden Hearts vs. Towers of Power =
For some reason, 1. it’s actually legal to swap the leadoff and anchor positions as both teams agree to it, 2. necessitating, of course, that both teams find an advantage to doing so, 3. and that’s what’s happening here. Huh.
L: Craver def. Mears (distance) - What looks to be a good contest comes to a crashing halt as Mears bites the dust in Dancing Stones.
W: Duran def. Laniel (distance) - Duran maintains a slight edge up to Bungee Road and completes it first…then watches Laniel run out of gas and go straight down. That’s five straight wins for Golden Hearts.
A: Polizzi def. McCartney (finish) - Run of the night! (Dunno if I’m going to make this a regular thing. Maybe.) Not much to say; it was tight, both men gave it their all, and the winner juuuust pulled it off.
T: Polizzi def. Craver (distance) - Craver’s luck runs out in Dancing Stones, and the miracle comeback is complete. I’m sorry, who was ToP’s captain again? :slight_smile:
Our first “steal” of the competition, and honestly…I’m not sure what to make of it. Maybe if it happens three or four more times I’ll have an informed opinion.
TOWERS OF POWER WINS

Laniel has an injured shoulder. If she can’t go for the final, alternate Traci Dinwitti will run in her place. I’ve seen what alternates did in the early days of UFC. I’m not optimistic.

= 4th match: Team Midoryama vs. Norcal Ninjas =
L: Noble def. Yager (distance) - Yager leads most of the way, looks good through Bungee Road…and just flat-out loses his grip at the end. I can’t explain it. His hands just slipped off.
W: Martin def. Mulvaney (distance) - No contest. Mulvaney was never in it and clearly didn’t have the arm strength for Bungee Road. And Martin goes up the wall again, because why the hell not. Remember, Mulvaney is supposed to be one of the 24 best female ANW competitors.
A: Dory def. Campbell (distance) - It looks like Campbell just didn’t have the energy. He fell behind early, tried to rush through Dancing Stones, and collapsed hard.
TEAM MIDORYAMA WINS

= Final: Team Midoryama (LWA) vs. Towers of Power (WLA) =
Let me get this out of the way right now. In any physical contest between two competitors that, athletically, are at least average in their respective fields, a man is going to destroy a woman. Period. I harbor no illusions about this whatsoever. Now, if it’s between complete clods or out-of-shape slugs, then yeah, it’s a toss-up. But a good man crushes a good woman, and an average man clobbers an average woman, maybe even a good one.

Men, provided they take the time to develop their physical abilities, will always be on a higher level than women. This has never been a big deal for me. It’s biological fact. I don’t recall there being any controversy over plants needing carbon dioxide to live or whales being air-breathers who live in water.

So as far as this “first ever male vs. female matchup”, is Yager going to leave Dinwitti hopelessly in the dust? Of course he will. And is Martin, for all her prowess, going to give up quite a bit of ground to Polizzi (who, admittedly, has absolutely been on fire today and would make a tough matchup for anybody)? Yes, yes, and more yes. Do I consider this a commentary on anything other than how screwball this whole contest is? HELL no. And I’m sure as hell not going to be the one to chest-thump about how grossly inferior women are and how they should stay on the ladies’ tees or whatever. Like I have anything to brag about. For crying out loud, I barely held my own in youth soccer. Pfft.

An-y-waaaayyy…it goes pretty much according to Hoyle until Dueling Salmon Ladders. Mears does his best but can’t close the gap, and gravity proves to be his nemesis on Tower Climb. Not close.
TEAM MIDORYAMA WINS

MVP picks: Polizzi, Martin, Dory

On a related note, am I right to be just a wee bit concerned with the constant horse race narrative? “It’s going to be close!” “They’re neck and neck!” “It’s really close!” “Synchronized swimming!” “Close, close, close, close!” Granted, most of the contest is specifically geared to have little or no effect on the final result, but you never know. Upsets happen, surprises happen, and every so often someone just runs away with it. That’s how sports is. What happens when a complete blowout happens? When a team wins two rounds and then cleans up in the Relay Showdown? Can the powers that be even accept it? Maybe a minor concern, but right now it’s definitely fingers crossed.

65

What station is it running on? It’s not NBC.

66

Esquire.

67

They run lots of replays, so you can still catch the second week if you like (or both, for that matter).

68

Turns out I don’t get that channel. Looks like I’m SOL.

69

NBC just (Jan 31) aired “USA vs the world” (well vs Europe and Japan anyway)

Brian

70

Spoilers for USA vs the World:

(a) It’s become bizarrely comical how terribly Japan does at this competition (although there was a lot of failure from all teams this time)
(b) Poor Geoff Britten is cursed
© Ian Dory and Joe Moravsky are very very consistent. In that they consistently fail at precisely the same place every time
(d) Isaac Caldiero is very seriously the man. When he was talking a bit of trash about Sean McColl before his final run, after Sean had re-set the speed record on stage 2 and completed stage 3, and after seeing a clip of McColl defeat him in a straight climbing competition, it seemed like the peak of arrogance. But, sure enough, he delivered.

Probably the highlight of the evening was Drew Dreschl’s unbelievable recovery on the running steps thing on stage 1… and then he still came back and set the fastest time ever, which he had to do to beat Livewire. That certainly did not seem possible.

71

Anyone know when this is playing again? I honestly had no idea this was happening (seriously, the YouTube channel had nothing, and these things are usually plugged weeks in advance). My mother, of all people, had to clue me in that it was on, and by the time I got to it they were already three events in. I’d love to do a recap of this, but it’s the full event or nothing for me.

As far as I can tell, the problem with Japan is the same problem they have every Olympiad: they simply do not have the bodies. If there are physical restrictions, they have a chance (that’s pretty much the main reason Ryoko Tani was able to be so dominating). In an open field, they’re toast. Sure, one of them can get past Butterfly Wall or Ultimate Cliffhanger, but faster than two opponents? Not happening.

72

The Japanese team included two 5’10" competitors this year. Neither scored a single point, though that’s unremarkable because nobody on their team scored a point.

73

For the record, during USA vs the World they referred to Geoff Britten as “one of the two American Ninja Warriors”, while Isaac Caldiero was “the first champion of American Ninja Warrior”, which seems reasonable.

I don’t think that can be it. When they send a 17-time competitor who has made it to stage 3 14 times (or whatever), and then he fails at the jumping spider, there must be something else going on.

My initial theory was that the construction of the course in the USA was just not quite what they were used to… slightly different mini tramps, slightly different curve of the walls on the jumping spider, etc. At this point, seems like it also must be psychological. I believe that in three years of international competition, 3 runs each year, so a total of 18 stage-1 and stage-2 runs, no Japanese competitor has ever completed a run. Which is, fundamentally, insane.

74

Watched that show, because it was on NBC.

First off, I think the USA got screwed on one run, because Geoff Britten got pulled for running a fever, but they didn’t get to substitute another runner for that heat. It wasn’t stated that he started his run and failed, it seemed they were evaluating before his run began. Team Europe got points for that heat. Fortunately, it didn’t matter in the end.

Second, it looked to me the reason people were having so much trouble with the jumping spider is because the mini-tramp had a different angle than the regular season. It seemed steeper than usual, though I didn’t get a good comparison shot. Note that it wasn’t just Team Japan that struggled with that event - Team USA vets were taken out by it, too.

I really hated the way Matt Eismann was saying “it all comes down to the final run” and “the final run is going to be the determining factor”. Um, yeah, that’s generally how it goes. I mean, theoretically Team USA could have won one more of the Stage 3 legs, in which case they would have been unbeatable. But then they wouldn’t have had to run the third heat. And a tiebreaker climb off would be the final run, no?

Another thing that threw me off was the editing. Someone would put down an unbelievably fast run, and I’d wonder where they would find time to get faster, then the next competitor would be faster, leaving everyone amazed. It happened on Stage 1 and Stage 2. I actually backed up and watched them and watched the time cues to see where it happened on one run, and figured out where he caught up.

Because there was no time limit on stage 3, there was a lot of resting time edited out. It was seamless, except if you watched the time clock disappear, when it came back there would be a jump. Hard to tell just how much faster Isaac Caldeiro’s run really was when the comparison runs had 4 minutes deleted from various rest breaks.

75

I think you’re confused (unless I’m confused). Britten went out, and was replaced by Joe Moravsky, who then almost immediately did a stage 2 run, finishing in record time… only to be out-record-timed by Sean McColl moments later. Team Europe got those points because they earned them.

76

There was no time limit on any run. They’re racing each other, not the clock.

Also, I didn’t see any rest breaks.

77

On time for a change! :slight_smile:

TEAM NINJA WARRIOR PRELIM #3

Note: In the final, if someone goes down and the opponent makes it through the leg cleanly, the next one up gets a 10-second head start. (Presumably if both go down, neither team gains an advantage.)

It looks like the fifth obstacle is the only one that’s going to change; this time it’s Floating Steps (“Devil Steps” in previous contests). This strikes me as an unusual choice. Given both its length and complete reliance on upper body strength, it has the potential to open up some big gaps. Gonna be hard to keep up the “Close, close, close!!” narrative if that happens.

Team Alpha: Evan Dollard, Kacy Catanzaro, Brent Steffensen (Steffensen says that Catanzaro is “better than a lot of the dudes in this sport. Given that something like 75% go out on Quintuple Steps, that’s not exactly high praise.)
Stratis Faction: Mike Bernardo, Grace Jones, Ryan Stratis (Jones is a rookie…just started competing this year…which pretty much puts a 10-ton kibosh on any claims to this contest featuring the best of the best.)
Expendabulls: Alan Connealy, Luci Romberg, Kevin Bull (Wow, that’s some prime qualifying round footage of Romberg on the obstacle she went out on four years ago!)
Tre Amigos: Andy Lowes, Cassandra Dortch, Tremayne Dortch (I suppose if you’re going to team up with a loved one, TNW poses the least risk of her completely ruining it for you.)

Yeah…not exactly sold on the ladies. Guess I’ll just have to watch and hope, per usual.

= 1st match: Team Alpha vs. Stratis Faction =
L: Bernardo def. Dollard (finish) - Bernardo is simply stronger and takes the lead for good at Floating Steps.
W: Catanzaro def. Jones (speed) - I don’t think this one’s making it to YouTube. Speed is never Catanzaro’s forte, and her opponent, who might’ve actually had a chance, goes in way too tentative. It almost looks like a friendly practice run between a pair of friends at the park. Somehow both of them make it to Warped Wall, thus far the only women who’ve had to attempt it other than Jessie Graff (although Meagan Martin was kind enough to show us how it’s done). Catanzaro comes up a bit short. Jones comes up way short, barely halfway up. Repeat. And repeat again. And that’s it. Since Catanzaro got through Floating Steps well before her opponent, she gets the point. Well-deserved, I suppose, but I’m guessing most of the fans are not looking forward to seeing another ladies’ duel here.
A: Stratis def. Steffensen (finish) - Steffensen has always been a steady but unspectacular performer, and lately he’s had trouble with pure upper-body obstacles. Stratis trails most of the way but surges to the lead on Floating Steps and seals an easy win. Steffensen seemed to give up on Warped Wall.
STRATIS FACTION WINS

= 2nd match: Expendabulls vs. Tre Amigos =
L: Lowes def. Connealy (finish) - An extremely tight contest…until the end of Floating Steps. The more agile Lowes is able to make a much quicker dismount and almost casually hit the buzzer.
W: Romberg def. C.Dortch (distance) - No contest. Lady Dortch looks just plain lost out there and splashes down in Log Grip, the first person to go out that early. Romberg had almost completed Swing Jump by then.
A: Bull def. T.Dortch (speed) - Drama! Dortch takes the early lead, then Bull passes him on Swing Jump but is too fast on Dancing Stones and falls halfway through. So now all Dortch has to do is get through Dancing Stones with all the time in the world. He gives it some thought, makes his run…and misplaces a foot one step from safety and goes down! Expendabulls pull off the most improbable win we’ll ever see under the current rules!
EXPENDABULLS WINS

= 3rd match: Stratis Faction vs. Tre Amigos =
Another leadoff/anchor swap, oh joy. And by “joy” I mean “hope that this actually pans out somehow”.
L: Stratis def. T.Dortch (finish) - Man, Dortch just can’t catch a break today. Stratis bellyflops a stone on Dancing Stones but miraculously makes the recovery, and just like in the last round he’s off to the races in Floating Steps. Dortch gives it his best on the wall but can’t close the gap.
W: Jones def. C.Dortch (distance) - To her credit, Lady D got her head in the game and actually pushed Jones for a while. But Jones (who is a rock climber) had little trouble with Floating Steps, while Dortch clearly did not have the muscle for it. She takes the plunge, graciously sparing the world a second Warped Wall debacle.
A: Bernardo def. Lowes (distance) - Lowes looks good most of the way, but the pressure of having to win two is simply too much. He leaps for the fifth step on Floating Steps and doesn’t even come close. Bernardo gets through at leisure and locks down the sweep.
STRATIS FACTION WINS

= 4th match: Expendabulls vs. Team Alpha =
L: Dollard def. Connealy (finish) - Yep…run of the day. Not much to say about it, just an incredibly tight, incredibly hard-fought battle where neither man made any big mistakes and it came down to a race to the line. Margin of victory, .3 second.
W: Catanzaro def. Romberg (distance) - Romberg gets to Dancing Stones first but badly stumbles on the middle step. Catanzaro skips through for the point. But in a (probably predictable) twist, she keeps going! She wants to bee daah waaw, dangit! Aaaaaand…she gets it. Not the same when you have all the time in the world, but whatever, cool.
A: Bull def. Steffensen (finish) - What’s wrong with Steffensen? He sets a very good pace, and although behind through Floating Steps, makes up nearly all of it. So Bull goes up Warped Wall and comes up short. This is Steffensen’s chance to be a hero, to seal the deal…and he comes up WAY short. They go at it again, Bull barely making it, and Steffensen…failing again! Yet another horse race narrative blown to bits!
All right, if Steffensen has a shred of a speck of a smidgen of a fragment of a soupcon of something that qualifies as “nominal” sense, he’ll humbly step aside and give Dollard the tiebreaker. Right? Right?
T: Bull def. Steffensen (distance) - Yeesh. Bull is nearly as sharp as ever, while Steffensen looks downright clumsy. He falls behind quickly and crashes to defeat in Dancing Stones.
EXPENDABULLS WINS

Trivia: In the postmatch interview, Alex actually, honest-to-goodness says “Kevin, you carried this team on your back!” (“Also, the sun rose in the east! And the Pope is Catholic! And water is, in fact, wet! There’s also something about a bear and the woods, but I can’t can say it on television.”)

= Final: Stratis Faction vs. Expendabulls (both WAL) =
Both women set a predictably workmanlike pace. Jones makes the tag first and Bull takes off. Stratis…goes down on Dancing Stones! Bull makes the tag cleanly, giving Connealy a huge advantage, and all Bernardo can do is wait and fume. Connealy jumps out to a massive lead, and Bernardo, despite a tremendous…Connealy is completely dogging it! He looks like he’s barely making an effort and falls further and further behind! A 10-second advantage (and keep in mind, he started out completely fresh turns into a less than 1-second win!

Huh. What a day. Not much in terms of heroics, so instead I’ll go with…

–Biggest goats–
5. Andy Lowes - A non-factor, and if you think you can take the place of the captain, you need to put up.
4. Cassandra Dortch - No one with any sense expects the ladies to make any real impact, but going out on the second obstacle has to be embarrassing for anyone.
3. Ryan Stratis - How thin the line between champ and chump can be. He’s going to be living this one down for a while.
2. Tremayne Dortch - Choked, plain and simple. And we know you want redemption, big guy, but you gotta put the team ahead of yourself, and doing two runs in a row ain’t that.

  1. Brent Steffensen - Sorry, but there’s no way to sugarcoat it…he sunk his team. Not making way for Connealy when it was clear he wasn’t up to the task was unforgivable. Hey, at the very least give someone else a chance to screw up.

MVP picks: Bernardo, Catanzaro, Bull

Today’s contest was…less than satisfying. Too much hinged on luck and bad decisions, and at no point did the eventual winner look really impressive. I think the ultimate lesson is that you just have to watch for the individual matches and enjoy the contestants who really stand out. If their squad ends up losing, que sera sera. Kind of like the post-Cold War Olympics, come to think of it.

78

Thanks for your summaries, they’re quite enjoyable.

I think I enjoyed this episode a fair bit more than you did. Some very very tight contests, some epic chokes, and some really amazing displays on the overhead ladder. It was pretty stunning how much time some people (particularly Ryan Stratis and Kevin Bull, IIRC) were making up on it, against seemingly strong competitors.
I definitely like that someone falling on the relay doesn’t just end the competition immediately… I’m curious to see what happens if two competitors fall on the same leg. Will whichever team went further get the 10 second head start?

79

That was a different set of three. They ran Japan, Europe, [del]Britten[/del], award points to Europe. Then Moravsky, Europe, Japan, IIRC.

Correct. I misspoke.

Of course not, they were edited out. To be explicit, when the contestant is between obstacles, they are standing or hanging breathing, the clock in the corner drops off the screen. When the clock comes back, the time will have jumped longer than the 2 seconds or so the camera was jutting around to show other faces and hear the announcers yammering. I saw several 20 to 30 second clock jumps. Note the audio was seamless and the camera was cutting to other views.

Then there were a couple you could see, like the one Europe guy who hooked his legs between the wall and the bar to rest upside down, or the Japanese guy who hooked his feet through the bar to hang upside down, or several of them sitting on the bar right before the final obstacle. A number of them rested there far longer than the time we watched them on screen. The last two who made it each rested about 1 minute on that bar.

80

I’m confused. You’re saying that they jumped time, and that they altered the time on the clocks? And even after doing both, the times still didn’t sync up to match what we saw?

That makes no sense. Why would they alter the times to some new, random value that has nothing to do with anything?