I was dead serious when I said that I was done with this show. However, there are still people in the house interested in it (supposedly; I never witnessed them watching it), and one day I got tired of watching the Japan Grand Prix, and there are all these unwatched episodes, and I say, screw it, I can watch the final under the condition that I don’t have to listen to a second of the judges, and surprisingly they were fine with that, and I watched the final, and it was largely tolerable. 
My impressions:
Adrian Stoica & Hurricane (dog stuff) - I’m not a fan of animal acts to begin with, and I really don’t like how much the bar is lowered for them (same with disabilities, which I’ll get to later). Besides that, this didn’t strike me as all that impressive. Rise up, grab something, rise up again, pull on something, run around…yawn. It reminded me of a humor sketch on a PBS children’s show.
Mzansi Youth Choir - Ooh, use a well-known bilingual song, but substitute your own language for the Korean bits, nifty concept! My problem is how they cheated the high and low notes; very noticeable during the “you make my world light up inside” parts. That’s pretty unforgivable with that many singers. It’s a shame because they have really great harmony and look like they genuinely love what they’re doing.
Avantgardey (group dance) - I have to give them a lot of credit for keeping it real and not making any attempt to pander. No loli dresses and flowers, no kissy-kissy with the judges, no baby-doll makeovers, none of that insufferable KAAHH-WAII-YEEEEEE bullcrap that’s like a taser to my skull. They decided what their look and style is and they’re going to live and die by it. That’s the kind of integrity I respect a lot. The routine wasn’t spectacular (if you’ve seen videos like this, you know the drill), but it was smooth as silk and plenty entertaining. Wouldn’t pay to see them live, but a DVD (those still exist, dammit!), yeah, I’d pick it up in a second.
(Aside: I don’t know how else to ask this, so I’ll leave it here. What’s the prevailing attitude in Japan regarding women in skirts performing an activity where the skirts are absolutely going to go places? I understand that there’s something of a backlash against pantyshots in that country [and tight, stretchy bike shorts were not the answer, shockingly enough], but I never liked the pants-and-skirt look. Just overkill, and it must get uncomfortably hot during a routine. What’s wrong with dance briefs or boyshorts, anyway?)
Lavender Darcangelo (singing) - She has a handicap making it impossible to stand still. Dunno why that’s any kind of deal for a singer. Overall, meh.
Chibi Unity (group dance) - Looked more like amateur theater than dancing. Losing a member to injury was a major blow and I don’t think they ever really recovered. Kinda just there.
82nd Airborne Division (singing) - Nothing special, but at least they picked a song within their range. Could’ve done without the salute at the end. (I work for a living, dammit! 
)
Anna Deguzman (card tricks) - An elite magician, especially one that interacts with the audience, must be completely on point with the delivery, and she sounded like an overwhelmed grade school teacher vainly trying to get her students to stop throwing things at each other. I was genuinely afraid at points that she was going to go full Dustin Tavella and get hopelessly lost in the wilderness. I guess the trick was good, but I was too distracted to notice.
Ahren Belisle (
) - Haahhh…I have stuff to do Sunday, so I’ll keep this brief. He somehow manages to combine the worst parts of Josh Blue and Ben Lapidus. A zero-talent, zero-skills, zero-hope waste of oxygen who got infinite free passes because he’s disabled. The way about 90% of his act is insulting people better than him is vile, and again: If you glorify being a total worthless jerk, you are one, so how “real” his act is makes no difference. (Did I mention that it went on freaking forever?) That AGT feels the need to give at least one of these human cesspools an inordinate amount of airtime every season is one of the main reasons I’ve stopped giving a crap.
Putri Ariani (singing & piano) - Being blind does make it a lot harder to play piano, so she clearly has one over Lavender Darcangelo! 
Still not my thing.
Ramadhani Brothers (acrobatics) - I’m with that Primetimer member: They have the makings of a Vegas act, but they have to learn something other than head balancing. Technically great but the pace was too sluggish for my liking.
Murmuration (group arm artistry) - I kept trying to see what’s so impressive about them, and from beginning to end I never got past “pretty good halftime show”. I mean, yeah, it looks nice, but is thirty people sitting in place and gesturing really a Vegas act? I think that it’d have to increase in scope considerably and include some spectacular visual elements to have any chance whatsoever.
All of this goes back to a long-running beef I’ve had with this show: Because the voters are dumb philistines, all the good acts get bumped off early, leaving a final full of thin gruel. Seriously, I look at that list again and I have zero idea who I want to win. If I were really pressed for a vote, I guess I’d go with Avantgardey, but it would not have been with any level of enthusiasm.
This show’s been sputtering for several seasons now, and at this point I’m just waiting to see how and when the bottom’s finally going to fall out. I’d consider a move to streaming the beginning of the end.
I don’t like it that Belisle got enough support to reach the final, but I realize that appreciation for puerile insult humor can’t be taught. What-flipping-ever, his loyal followers will be glad to feed him and the rest of the world will go back to not knowing that he exists. Works for me.