some guys did a whole bunch of these at Heathrow.
Ah retail management. How I don’t miss it so.
One I always remember because I thought it was so funny.
I got called up front to listen to a tiny old lady bend my ear about something or other she felt was unfair. She was really worked up about it. A group of cashiers were watching the whole thing unfold. After I gave the lady my final answer of “Sorry, I can’t help you” her face scrunched up, her fists clenched, and she hauled off and punched me as hard as she could in the shoulder and marched out of the store.
It was the lightest tap you ever felt. But when she was out of sight I turned toward the cashiers and they were all wide-eyed mouth agape as if they had witnessed a stabbing. Their reactions just completely cracked me up.
The really worked up customers were always the most memorable. Rednecks that would wander in from who knows where, start arguements about something, tell you “Yew think yer all that, don cha?” then dare you to take a swing at them or take it outside.
Another lady I remember was really worked up and refused to leave the store. It was already 30 minutes after we closed. She wasn’t going to leave till she got what she wanted. Of course we’re not allowed to touch a customer in any way and it’s a hassle to call the cops to have someone escorted out. So I decided to play nice with her and let her ramble on and on. But I noticed that whenever I moved she would unconciously follow me while her mouth never stopped. So I slowly slowly wandered to the front door, gestured to security guy to quickly open it for me, and while I kept her busy with “yes, un-huh, I see” I slowly walked outside. She followed me right out the front door. Once outside I finally interupted her with “Sorry, there’s nothing we can do for you tonight” and I stepped back inside and locked her out. Only then did she realize where she was. She looked at her surroundings and when she figured out what I had done just looked at me through the glass with an evil stare.
I had a good friend years ago who could eat steak with no teeth.