That reminds me of a live crab story from long ago, when I lived on a tiny Pacific island in the Federated States of Micronesia. We’d gone out on our little boat to an even smaller island for snorkeling, and a Micronesian with us caught a coconut crab and gave it to us. There was an old cardboard box in the hold and the crab was unceremoniously dumped in for the ride back home.
If you’ve never seen a coconut crab, let me just point out that they are terrifying. They are land crabs and have a ginormous claw that could easily snap the bones in your hand.
The ride home on the boat was exhausting as we hit a storm and were buffeted by high waves. When we staggered into the kitchen, we set the cardboard box on the counter, too tired to give it anymore thought.
The next morning, I went into the kitchen. The box was there. The crab was not.
Oh shit. The first thing I did was to look for my two cats. They were fine, thank goodness. Did I just imagine that they looked a little affronted and were perching on the tallest furniture available?
A frantic search for the crab finally located it nestled into the back of the upright freezer, happily surrounded by wires and cables. Oh shit, again. I’d had that freezer shipped in when I moved, as in those days food availability was erratic (the ship came in once a month, most months. When things ran out, they ran out and there were no options but to wait for the next ship). If the crab decided to snap one of the cables, there were no options for repairs; I’d simply be out a freezer.
Neither my husband nor I had any idea of how to remove the crab safely. We locked up the cats for their own safety, then poked cautiously at it with a broom handle. It did not budge.
Clearly, help from a local was needed. I ran next door to the neighbor, Louey Louey (yes, that really was his name - when the missionaries arrived on Kosrae and insisted on imposing Western practices like first and last names, most Kosraeans shrugged and said, “okay, I’ll use my first name as my last name.” Then the habit of calling everyone Jack Jack or Louey Louey stuck.)
I begged Louey Louey to help. He thought it was hilarious. After a brief inspection, he fearlessly reached in and hauled out the crab.
Coconut crabs are delicious. That night, we feasted.