Amusing little stories

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This is a dumb little story about myself, I hope you can have a laugh at me and share something amusing that happened to you.

Some years ago, pre Trump, I would find myself driving along a road in my town, as one does, and happened to pass a particular house. This house, a lovely house, is between my house and “downtown” so I’d pass it routinely, and noticed something peculiar. There was often a car parked out front. It’s not a street with lots of cars parked on it, the houses all have driveways, but parking is allowed.

The car itself isn’t peculiar, it’s the fact that it’s parked backwards, always parked backwards. Nobody ever parks backwards, not around here at least, so this car (well… SUV) offended me by brazenly doing something nobody else does that is theoretically illegal anyways. I see this thing parked backwards over and over for months and months and start thinking “Who the hell do they think they are? Parking backwards like they own the street. I should complain and get them the ticket they so richly deserve.”

Eventually, sometime before I called the cops to complain, I found out exactly who the hell they think they are. The Secret Service, protecting a person who happens to be a member of Obama’s cabinet.

I can only thank my natural laziness for protecting me from looking like the world’s biggest ass asking my local cops to ticket the Secret Service.

2

I’m glad you figured it out before you embarrassed yourself!

My story:

I don’t drink that often, but one night maybe twelve years ago or so, I went out with my friends and came home very late, and very drunk.

I climbed into bed with my sleeping husband, picked up my phone, and texted him: “Just got home.”

When his phone dinged, and he woke up, I demanded (in complete seriousness) “Who’s texting you?”

He squinted down at the phone and replied, “You are!”

“Oh,” I said. “I’m home.”

3

I was riding down the road with my DIL once, we met the Lil 'Wrekker on the road. I texted ‘beep beep’

She thought it was hilarious.

4

In the mid 90’s we were travelling in SAmerica, Ecuador to be exact, we were taking a bus to a town called Banos, where there was a big hot springs and where treks left from, heading down into the Amazon basin. It was a long slow ride on a bad unpaved road in a packed ancient bus, complete with ducks and geese! After several hours I notice hubs is turning grey. As it happens he’s got a case of the trots and needs to get off the bus NOW! I tell him to force his way off at the next stop and I won’t let them leave without him.

Bus stops, and he makes his move, forcing his way out through a boarding throng, whilst a similar throng simultaneously attempts to deboard. Hubs almost makes it through the doors, but the teenage conductor isn’t about to let him get off in the wrong place.

He’s caught hubs by the shoulder, and we can all hear hubs pleading, “banos, por favour!”, because banos means bathroom!

The kid, and passengers insist loudly, ‘No Banos Senor!’

Hubs has no choice but to wrench himself free, and dive behind the nearest roadside shrubbery. When they saw him squat down the entire bus turned to me and said, ‘oooh, ‘banos!’

The bus cheered when he reboarded moments later. The passengers were all our fast friends for the rest of the journey. Smiling, giving us sweets, stopping to shake hubs hand as they’re exiting, etc.

Unsurprisingly, hubs was the least amused by these events. But the rest of us thoroughly enjoyed the whole episode! Pretty sure everybody on that bus told that story to someone, hahaha!