Agh! Come on! Do I have to delete this?
The explosive explosion exploded explosively, exploding with immeasurable explosiveness.
Dirk heard Ploothka scream, or possibly yell, and he thought he might have detected some elocutionary syntax in there, just vaguely beyond the comprehension of what he will soon realize are bleeding ears. Suddenly there was absolutely silence, darkness pervaded even the [insert term for name of light thingies in your eyes from dust]…
Presently, Dirk awoke, in such a condition that he could not tell if he was now blind and deaf, or if the Caverns were simply too consuming. Dirk, too scared to speak, slowly and gently examined his body, and discovered that he was gravely injured; fatally pierced through the left leg by a rock shard, while the other was crushed by rubble.
Otherwise, he had severe bruising, torn clothing, blood everywhere, and had lost his hat. This meant that the magic that had formerly disguised him would no longer operate.
Dirk knew he had to heal his injuries, so he crawled over to his bag, and followed the instructions all adventurers memorized by heart when they needed to prepare for explorering (yes, you read that correctly):
(player name)/open bag
(player name)/use towel
(player name)/tie towel
(player name)/ towel [tourniquet]
(player name)/apply tourniquet [(player name)]
This healed Dirk’s legs, but it only applied to large injuries. He still bled profusely, and had many bruises.
Dirk’s eyes finally adjusted to the light, and he saw a purpley, like not bright purpeley, but evil purpley, with blood red mixed in glow in the distance. As he stumbled toward it, he heard the voice of Yawai-Gesso, “no, no! Dirk, don’t leave us here! These Caverns are evil, not just any evil, but evil! It might cause the -8 of my helpfulness to kick in!” His argument echoed from the glow, and as he carried on the argument, the glow coalesced into a tiny worm.
In the glare from the still unnamed worm, Dirk finally got a good look at himself. His cuts were more minor than he thought, and the blood was primarily from a gash on his cheek, which had already begun to congeal. His largest concern was his badly singed clothing, little more than rags that failed to hide his strangely undamaged bunny underbreeches.
The luminescent creature also revealed that Dirk had come to a four-way intersection…
“Before you ask,” began the flashlight freak, “the rock ran down that right path there,” gesturing with its tail, "blabbering about being a danger to you, despite being his greatest desire to hurt you, and said that down that middle path is Lake Feesees, where the vital clue is hidden. To get to the bottom of the lake, you will need to turn that bag you are holding into a Sack of Air, not that you or I know how.
“Fortunately, Ploothka shouted the instructions to create one before she got trapped outside by your explosive stripping. Unfortunately, you didn’t hear, and will need to recreate that memory in order to acquire them. She spoke in Cecilism, a language only intelligent people such as her and myself can understand, which uses short sounds to transmit vast amounts of data. She might have said something else we might need to know. Behind you is the pile of rubble that was the entrance to Dudue, which you can try to dig through, and to your left will lead you to find a drug that can recreate that memory for you and get the instructions.”
GM: Too much exposition! I demand you end this now. Hope the other guys get where your going.
Quickly! Dirk is considering which path to take when he hears a growling coming from all around him, and he darts in the the tunnel–