Huh? Why?
Funny bumper stickers.
Clever bumper stickers.
Charming bumper stickers.
Perceptive bumer stickers.
All contradictions in terms.
The only bs I’ve ever seen that didn’t suck was one that simply said “Get off your cel phone and drive!” No witty bon mots, no cute turn-of-phrase, just a simply, practical directive.
Grateful Dead sticker on my truck.
Darwin Fish on windshield.
But really, have you EVER seem a bumpersticker that gave you a higher opinion of someone’s intelligence or beliefs?
I’ve heard that story before, so it amazes me you would experience the same situation.
And personally, if I read “I got the crabs at Joe’s House of Seafood” I would be inclined not to use the washroom.
I guess I’m with Kalhoun on this one. I’d never put a bumper sticker on my car.
Whenever I see a car with a five or more bumperstickers I think to myself “That person has clearly never had an idea that couldn’t be accurately summed up in less than dozen words.”
I want to have a bunch of bumpestickers printed up that say, “How much of this car do you think was made in China?” Not to put on my car; I don’t have one. No, I want to go around and put them on the bumper of every car that has a “Free Tibet” sticker.
quote:
originally posted by Kalhoun
The whole concept of stating one’s opinion or passion on a bumper is just so…obnoxious.
Then Bovine said, "Huh? Why? "
I just think it’s silly to “declare” things that others don’t have a vested interest in. Now, if your bumper sticker said something like, “CPR Certified” or “Bubonic Plague Patient”, I could understand. I don’t give a rat’s patoot what your political leanings are, what your opinion on abortion is, or whether or not you believe in evolution. These are things I’m greatly interested in when it comes to family and friends, but your opinion, as a passer-by on a road, does nothing but distract me from the rigors of navigating my vehicle.
Well, once upon a time on the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway I saw a bumper sticker on a ratty old Chevy that read “Save The Blue Oyster Cult From Themselves”.
Deep.
Yeah, I have. “Geologists make the bed rock!”
[defensively]
What?
[/defensively]
“Teachers Do It With Your Children”
Some of my favorites: (Chronologically)
“Reunite Gondwanaland”
“Support Rhodesia”
“Dick Nixon before he dicks us”
“Ayatollah Assa-hole-a”
“You can take my gun when you pry my cold, dead, fingers from around it”
And the all time #1: A “Shit Happens” bumper sticker that was put on upside down.
As my husband and I were approaching a woman who was stopped at an intersection across the street from where we live, I noticed a bumper sticker on her car and pointed it out to him. It read:
HANG UP AND DRIVE!
We loved it! However, we loved it even more when, as we pulled up along side her (she was turning right, we were going straight) and we turned toward her to give her the thumbs up sign, we saw her yacking on her cell phone! We started cracking up and she – fully aware of why we were laughing so hard – bowed her head in embarrassment and starting laughing, too. Hilarious
Obiligatory Simpsons quote:
Marge : Can we get rid of this Ayatollah t-shirt? Kohmehni died years ago.
Homer : But Marge, it works on any Ayatollah: Ayatollah Nakhmudah, Ayatollah Zaheidi. Even as we speak, Ayatollah Rasmarah and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating their power!
Some neighbors of ours had a very unfortunate bumper sticker on the back of their minivan.
Mrs. Neighbor was a very large woman.
Mr. Neighbor was a very small man.
And the bumper sticker he put on the minivan said I LOVE WHALES. (I “heart” whales, actually.)
Maybe I’m just a sick, twisted bitch, but I always thought the irony was extremely unfortunate.
[sub]And no, I’m not calling her a whale. That would be really rude and uncalled for. I’m just saying that I wouldn’t have put that bumper sticker on my car, all things considered.[/sub]
My very first car (1986) was a hand-me-down from my Grandmother. It was a '73 Impala that was about 50 feet wide and 100 feet long and got about 1 MPG. Baked into the rear bumper was a “SAVAGALLONAGASAWEEK” bumper sticker from the 70’s. It really rounded out the whole package.
The thing that bothers me TEN TIMES more than whatever silly political statement or stupid joke they make is when they’re on CROOKED. I’m staring at a $55,000 Lexus with “My child is an honor student at Lord Snot Boarding School” and it’s on at a 30 degree angle. BLAAARRRGHH!!!
That is the sickest thing I’ve heard in a while. Thanks for the laugh!
Why this is making me giggle so hard, I don’t know. But it is. Thanks.
After Hilary’s elected? 
Seriously, the way partisan politics is going, it seems that no matter who’s elected president over the next seven or eight terms, there’ll be an impeachment movement. So you could perhaps get yourself a pretty good collection of them going, and then put 'em all on at the same time. Hypothetically, the back of your car could look like this:
IMPEACH BILL CLINTON
IMPEACH GEORGE BUSH
IMPEACH WESLEY CLARK
IMPEACH JEB BUSH
IMPEACH JOHN EDWARDS
IMPEACH … and so on
That would sure confuse some people.
Growing up I had occassion to see the world’s most obnoxious bumper sticker countless times. I grew up in Falls Church, VA, a fairly wealthy community just outside DC. One of the local political parties handed out hundreds of stickers reading ‘We Really Have it Made in Falls Church City’.
If that was civic pride I want no part of it. Struck me as insufferably snobby.
Shade and ElwoodCuse: Thank you.
I have to admit, John Carter of Mars, that I would unlimber my wallet to purchase a “Reunite Gondwanaland” bumper sticker.