My Dilemma of the Day today came in a parking lot. A busy, congested, L.A. parking lot.
I had to go to the bank. This bank is in a shopping center by a university which gets very busy during the day, especially Friday afternoons. Of course every spot was full (and I do mean every spot) and scores of vehicles besides mine were roaming the land looking for a spot to settle in.
Eventually I come across a car pulling out. I am in such a position as to pull into the spot next, so I put on my blinker and cackle with glee at my triumph.
Then I see her.
There is a small Asian woman in a small white car (not relevant to the moral situation of course, just so you can have a visual) who is also prepared to pull into the spot. I realize that I did see her before… she was sitting stationary in a non-parking spot (the kind with diagonal lines slashing through it) across from the soon-to-be vacant spot. However, I am in a position where I have slightly faster access to the spot, and could easily pull in before her. I begin to do just that, and am met with a menacing glare. (visual: :mad: )
I am terribly torn about what to do. On the one hand, she was there first, presumably with the intent to pull into the spot first. On the other hand, she doesn’t really own the spot any more than I do, it’s going to take me a significant while to find another one, and I am physically closer to take it.
So Dopers I ask you - who has the rightful claim to the spot? Share your opinions with me first (so as to prevent any possible bias), and then I’ll tell you what I actually did.
I’m of the, “she was there first” school. I know parking in L.A. is a bitch and all, but I’ve been on the receiving end of that scenario, and I have to say, when my Jeep gets older, if that happens, I’m going to find the deeepest satisfaction in pulling a Fried Green Tomatoes on the offender.
It ain’t a law, but sometimes civil decency and understanding are the only thing that separates us from the amoebas.
It’s her spot - unless she was positioned in a way that she wasn’t making her intentions clear. It sounds like she was parked facing the intender spot, and that might make things difficult for her because she wouldn’t be able to signal. I try to wait at 90 degrees, so I can have my indicators on on the side facing the spot I want. That’s a generally well-recognised way of claiming a spot.
Even if she wasn’t indicating or anything though, if it was clear to the average person that she was waiting, then it’s hers. If you’d absent-mindedly failed to spot her, when you finally did see her, I’d recommend you to give an apologetic wave and drive off.
Being able to get into the spot first because you’re physically closer to it is a four of a kind, but having waited longer is a royal flush.
Yes, to make it clear - she didn’t have a blinker on, she was basically facing the spot from across (I was coming in from the side, but they are angled spots so I had very easy access from my position), and I didn’t really notice her until I started pulling into the spot, at which point I retroactively realized I had indeed seen her there before, but at the time was too consumed with my own quest to give her any thought (she could have been waiting to pick someone up, etc.)
Sounds to me like you would have acceded to her if you had been fully aware. Stuff happens, it ain’t the end of the world, don’t beat yourself up over it. I drove a big rig for 24 years and when you’re big and slow people take advantage, sometimes I had to resort to intimidation to get the job done. I didn’t like the dirty looks, and, sometimes worse, but it came w/ the territory. Life goes on, this is just a hiccup.
Heh. Far from that - the only reason I posted is because this sort of situation seems indicative to me of a greater ethical dilemma that tends to come up in situations besides parking spots. In general, I’m not so sure I believe in people “calling” things that don’t belong to them, even though (really, especially when) someone else is in a position to physically take them first. I’m just not so sure that such a practice really gives you rightful claim to said thing.
In any case, I did end up ceding the parking spot to her, but I’m still dubious as to whether that’s the way I want to behave in situations like this.
Yaeah, it’s interesting. I agree with your concerns, Rigmarole, but maybe the parking situation you described isn’t the perfect example. I tend to think of examples like:
My ex and I used to walk into a bank, and she’d ask me to wait in the queue to mark our spot while she filled out the deposit slip. I always disagreed with this, and told her we have to fill out the slip, then join the end of the queue. She countered that people coming into the bank after us would see a given number in the queue and decide whether to wait or come back later based on that information, so we weren’t hurting anyone. I wasn’t convinced.
At the supermarket checkout, people in front will skive back into the depths of the supermarket to pick up additional items. I won’t do that. I’d rather forfeit my position. The people behind might have chosen that queue based on “this guy’s only got three things”.
Riga-You did the right thing. Maybe you’ve seen the flick, Fried Green Tomatoes. If not, rent/buy/look for it. Near the end, there’s an identical situation in which a young thang pulls into such a space, beating Kathy Bates’ character into it. Kathy says, “I was waiting for the space.” whereupin the girl says, “I’m younger and faster” and enters the store. Kathy takes her tank and performs several battering ram crash dummy hits on the VW beetle that is in “her” space. The girl comes running out yelling “What have you done” or such and Kathy says, “I’m older and have more insurance!”.
It was one of the all-time famous movie lines, in my view, although I doubt her insurance would have paid any claim, knowing the facts.