About 60 years ago, my older brother started a collection. The items were worthless at the time. It was just a fun thing to do. I was about 9 years old and he was about 13. After collecting 8 or 10 items, he lost interest, but I continued the collection for many years, eventually amassing a sizeable stash.
I’m now retired and have considered putting the whole collection up for auction. I’ve stored his items in a closet. Several times I’ve offered to return them, but he’s never expressed any interest. I’ve always thought that when I sold his items, I would give him half the proceeds. At auction, they might bring a few thousand dollars.
Lately, though, I’ve begun to think that I should keep it myself. He has no interest in the items, and I’ve been caring for them for six decades now. He’s also retired and much better-off than me, and the money would mean much more to me than him.
I should add that when he first started the collection, he had an item that he traded to a friend for something else that is almost worthless, which I have also been storing. The item he practically gave away has become quite desirable in the decades since, and often auctions for anywhere from four-to-seven thousand dollars, a fact that irritates me every time I see it sell.
I’m torn about this. Should I split the proceeds from his items with him, or do I keep it all myself? What say ye?
I would give him a heads up about your decision to sell. “Hi brother, this is your last chance to reclaim those items, if you’re still not interested I’m going to sell the whole lot and pocket the cash.” That way he gets a chance to sell those items himself. But if he doesn’t want to go through the trouble, he shouldn’t get the money, IMO.
I think this also depends on how close you are to your brother. If selling the stuff would create some kind of rift between you, I’d split the proceeds, not evenly but proportionally to what he contributed.
I think you must say, “Hey, I’m getting rid of this stuff on e-bay or whatever, so last chance: in or out?”
After that, I think you should still keep the money. Because 100% he’s going to say, “Ok, do whatever!!” And then mock him at the next encounter, perhaps by flaunting a new expensive wristwatch or something like that.
It would be the most amusing and honest way to play it.
Since you created most of the value, and he already declined a share, you aren’t obligated to share it with him. You might offer again, or use some portion of the proceeds for something you and your brother can share. Or just don’t worry about it because you guys are old and if this matters to your relationship then there wasn’t much there to begin with.
How much of the current collection is your brother’s original stuff?
I don’t know what we’re talking about here, but say hubcaps. Your brother started with 10 hubcaps and your collection now contains an total of 110 hubcaps. Or 1,010 hubcaps. Or 10,010 hubcaps. IOW what portion of the value is attributable to the original starter group? I might offer him cash proportionate to the original group-- certainly not half of the value of the whole collection, because you put in the work to keep it together and add more hubcaps. And THAT’S what created the ultimate collection and the current value.
In short, I might offer him some proportionately appropriate (small share), but not half, and not nothing.
Also, put the shoe on the other foot. For those who say “don’t even mention it” – what if you were the one who originally started the collection and your brother is now selling it for a huge sum and you only heard about it from another family member? Would you say, “Good for him!” and think no more about it? Or would you have liked a token (or more) remembrance since you got him started in hubcaps?
Another thing: are you talking about selling the collection for hundreds of dollars or thousands? Or more? If we’re into seven figures, then it would be the better part of valor to offer your brother some share of the proceeds.
I think there are two relevant pieces of information still missing:
How exactly did they come to be in your possession?
Have you mentioned to him that you intend to auction them?
On the basis of what you’ve said – that he expresses no interest when you offer to return them – I think legally they’re yours (though IANA lawyer). But I think the ethical / feel good option depends on the preceding questions.
Any action on your part that is deceitful by commission or omission is ethically wrong. Selling without telling, selling without informing him of the value, denying ever having sold, etc.
Now for a screwed-up enough relationship with your bro, ethically wrong may be the right (or at least the least-bad) thing to do. But you haven’t given us enough info to opine on that. So I’m going to stick with the assumption you’re both decent human beings individually and collectively.
With that assumption …
If you’re any kind of an honest person and a loving brother, you’ll tell him your plans and your expected net proceeds, and offer him the appropriate percentage ref @ThelmaLou’s breakdown. Which might be half or might be something much less or more. Any consideration of items given or traded away years ago when this was all valueless is simply wrong. Coulda woulda shoulda is always bad business.
If he’s any kind of honest person and loving brother, his response will be “No thanks; you’ve earned it all, need it more, and so deserve it all.”
I think ethically you’re in the clear keeping the money, but you know your brother.
If you offer to split it, will he tell you to keep it all? If so, definitely offer, as he is likely to appreciate the gesture, but will (rightfully) decline.
Will he throw a fit if he finds out you sold the stuff and demand his share, or will he demand half (or whatever) if you offer? This is trickier, but making an offer and paying a share might be necessary to maintain family harmony, if that is important to you.
What if you just don’t mention it to him? Will he wonder why you aren’t bringing up his hubcaps at Thanksgiving, like you always do? Or is he more likely to not even remember. ETA: as @LSLGuy points out, this is ethically shadier, but I’d argue still might be the least bad move.
To sum it up, I don’t think there is too much of an ethical questions here, more a question of family dynamics.
Either give him one last chance to reclaim it (“Hey Brother Mine, I’m going to sell those [items] in a couple of weeks if you don’t come get them, and I’m keeping the proceeds”) or sell them and don’t say ANYTHING to him about them, ever.
Offering him half after the fact is just inviting trouble.
No, it isn’t an answer, and I did read the OP.
My brother collects limited edition sneakers. If he lost interest, and I carried on his collection, that doesn’t make the sneakers he’s bought teleport into my hands.
The question I am asking is how the items came to be in his possession?
Were they gifted, or lent, or asked to be stored temporarily, taken without his initial awareness? etc
So, the brother should have his ten items back or a percentage of the proceeds and the OP has bought, owns, have had the storage of and should get the value of the rest.
I’d probably suggest a compromise, or modification of what some of the other posters have suggested.
First, even if the majority of the collection was assembled, stored, and organized by the OP, there’s that initial impetus and core from the brother. So totally going silent on the sale is probably a bit much, although I fully acknowledge the OP’s statement that they’ve made multiple efforts to return those pieces.
So I would join those that suggest calling the brother, and state simply that you’re going to sell off the collection and it’s the brothers last chance if they want to recover their items or if they want a (proportionate) value of the items. If the brother says, no, you do what you want, you’re in the clear, but…
I would still want to make myself feel better (again, this is ME, and I don’t know the OP’s relationship with their brother) - and if I did sell the total collection for a few thousand dollars, I’d send the brother a bottle of his favorite booze / case of favorite beer / digital copy of Diablo 4 or something similar suited to their interests with a bit of the proceeds. Nothing super pricey, but something -fun- that they can appreciate the thought even if they don’t need the money.
Could you tell him that you are thinking of selling the items and ask him if he wants his back before the sale, or could you sell his items as a separate parcel and offer him the proceeds minus any admin fees?