So you’re going to merge into traffic. Well here’s a handy guide for just such an occasion.
Alternate cars merge from one lane to the other: the first car in the right lane gets to go to the left lane, then the first car in the left lane goes to the right lane, so on and so forth, a lot like a zipper.
That’s all there is to it! Now get out there and merge with confidence.
What the hell is wrong with dog-fuckingly stupid asshats? You do this every single fucking morning, and every single goddam evening! Why is this so hard? Why the hell are you pulling up right next to me? I can’t move up cuz there’s another car there, I can’t move backward cuz yet again there’s a car there, and I can’t move into the lane I want to get into cuz your car is there. So why the hell are you glaring at me and motioning for me to move out of your way? You do this every fucking morning, and every fucking morning all it does is slow the whole thing down. You see that mile long line of cars waiting to get into this lane? It’s your fault. You and all the other knuckle dragging dipshits that make a 10 minute drive to work take half an hour. You are human cholesterol blocking the arteries that make society run smoothly. I’m going to get a big baseball bat with the word Lipitor on it, and show you the error of your ways upside your head. Assholes.
If the car beside you is ahead of you and attempting to merge, let him and merge behind him. A car ahead of you in this situation is not winning a race and the proper response is not to floor it to get ahead of him so you can merge first.
And …
When you are navigating from an on-ramp to the highway, merge. What you shouldn’t do is come to a complete stop at the end of the onramp and wait for 300,000 cars to clear the way for you. Christ, that one drives me crazy the most.
Merging works best when both lanes are going nearly the same speed. So don’t brake hard in anticipation of the need to merge.
Note I said nearly the same speed. If you are next to another car moving exactly the same speed, you need to speed up a little, or slow down a_little so that you move beside an opening.
Merging early encourages the jackholes behind you to race up to the front of the line, which slows down the through lane, encouraging more jackholes. Picking out a slot to merge into, staying next to it, and merging as the lane ends makes things move smoother for everyone. Truck drivers are very good at figuring out what you are up to and letting you in when the time comes. Teenagers and drivers of German cars, not so much.
Actually, unlike many of the things people fail to do while driving, I think merging is often legitimately difficult, particularly when there’s just a short distance to do it in and you’re merging onto a fast-moving freeway. The “match speed and try to get in in a very brief time” approach is less likely to cause disruption behind you, but also more likely to result in your fiery death. So I cut people a fair bit of slack.
I think you guys have missed one of the basic rules of merging that is also crucial - pick your spot and make it happen. You don’t get to the end of your merge lane and then decide to take a look at what you’re dealing with - you should know coming up to the traffic already in the lane where your logical merge spot is.
Another one of the finer points of merging - a “Yield” sign doesn’t mean sit there until there is no traffic coming for five blocks. During rush hour, it means get your ass into the first available proper spot so everyone else can get home, too. If you getting in does not impede another driver, get your thumb out of your butt and do it!
Congratulations, you answered your own OP, YOU are in fact fucking up the zipper merge. Zippers dont work when you try to zip one tooth from the right with 3 from the left.
you need to create some fucking space in front or behind your car before you get to the merge so the dog fuckers trying to merge into your lane HAVE A FUCKING PLACE TO MERGE INTO.
seriously like the other 99.99999% of America you need a whack up side the head with a clue by 4.
Mergees - if a merger is coming up, leave some space in front of you to merge into by slowing down a tad. Everyone will get there faster.
Mergers - if a mergee is letting the car in front of you merge, that doesn’t mean he is a pussy and so you should try to get your car into that place also. Merger after the mergee. (Lots of people try this in a 3 lane to 2 merge. Someday I’m going to get my right door armor plated and push them right into the river. )
So um, did you actually read what I wrote? The dog fucker in question pulled up next to me, not in between the car in front of me and my car, not in between the car behind me and my car, right next to me. Oh and dont forget, he’s not standing still, he’s moving with me, pacing me, expecting me to be the one who lets him in and not giving a shit that he’s boxed me in. There is space in front of me and space behind me, enough so that if he were to start to merge in front of me, as a non dog fucker would, I could start merging as well, leaving him enough space. But no, he’s not trying to do that, he wants the space I’m in, and isn’t going to settle for anything else.
There is, in downtown San Diego, a nasty little place where three lanes merge into one.
What people fail to realize is that the rule, there, is different! Instead of “merge every other car,” which you might describe as “merge one, wait one,” it’s “merge one, wait two.” If you’re in lane 3, you have to let a guy from lane 1 and a guy from lane 2 go ahead before you take your turn.
Lots of people try to merge every other car in this bottleneck…and that just causes problems. Their intuition is good; it just doesn’t apply to a 3-to-1 merge.
Yeah, I read what you wrote, you cant move up or back, so in other words you have left no room for anyone to merge into your wall of cars.
I get that pacing you doesn’t help anyone here, however if you had actually created some space by slowing down a tiny bit an 1/8th of a mile ago your merge would have been smooth as butter.
Oh my god, what were city planners thinking? That sounds horrific.
Also, speaking of merging, I’m a firm believer in fully utilizing the roadspace available. That means don’t stop in the middle of your ending lane. Don’t think of it as one “correct lane” and one “incorrect lane” but rather what the word means - two lanes MERGING into one. Stopping short of the end and suddenly only propagates brake times and exacerbates the traffic problem. Not utilizing the full roadspace turns a 4 mile long traffic jam into a 5 mile one.
Another note to the mergee - it is not the responsibility of the people in the lane you want to merge into to ‘give way’ - you are responsible for your merge - yes - it would be nice if they changed lanes to make it easier for you - but they are not required to - pick your spot - match speed appropriately - make it happen - if there is no spot- leave your house 5 minutes earlier.
To the folks already on the road - remmeber that day you left 5 minutes late and you wanted to merge? that nice guy that helped by slowing just a bit or moving over? GET A FUCKING CLUE and help others out too -
And if you had merged a 1/4th of a mile ago when everyone else did you wouldn’t have the problem of finding a way into already zipped up traffic. When you see everyone else merging that is not the time to try to leapfrog ahead of everyone else. Screw those who try that. THAT is what slows down the lane. I have no problem letting someone over when everyone is merging. If you want in you are going to have to get ahead of me but behind the person in front. Beside doesn’t work. If you are a leapfrogger then you may just have to wait till all those you lept ahead of go past again.
I have nothing to add to this very fine and apropos post, except to wish that it could somehow be condensed into a message flashing on a sign at every highway merge point, except people would crash into each other trying to read it and gabble on their cellphones at the same time.
Husband hasn’t a clue how to merge, I told him what my step dad told me ( he was a part time driver’s Ed instructor when I had to pass HIS test before I went on the road on my own.)that is watch your speed, indicate and look at on coming traffic. Make it work, usually the on coming traffic will let you in, and you do the same for other mergees . I learned to drive in Detroit 95 % of the time the mergee would manage. What simster said . All bets are off in Doha Qatar though…crazy there.
