Hey guys! I’ve forwarded door alarm links to my mom for consideration. It’s not that she’s opposed to any locks at all, but only to more locks. Dad can navigate the current selection of locks, which is awkward when he takes a 3 a.m. stroll but necessary if there’s a fire. Not that he’s ever left alone in the home anymore, but what I’m learning is that I’m not just taking care of my Dad, I’m also taking care of my mom and her worries, logical or not.
Yesterday, I toured an assisted living facility that specializes in Alzheimer’s/dementia patients and keeps them until death. It was a wonderful place. The staff was incredible. Everything was geared to keeping the patients active and engaged. If Dad lived there, it would allow me and Mom to go back to being daughter and wife - not the bad guys who make him take pills. However, the price, even with VA assistance, is at the extreme outer edge of what we can afford. Mom is in her panicked ‘I’m going to die poor in a trailer park’ mode. I’m trying to figure out how much we’d save with Dad not eating out once or twice a day, and I’m also thinking of sounding out my half-siblings on the possibility of getting financial help from them. Of the three, one is working class, one is upper middle class, and the third is, while not a 1%er, probably not very far from it. Trouble is, not-quite-1%er has the worst relationship with Dad and will probably be the least willing to provide help.
In the meantime, I need to look at other possibilities, including the local VA hospital - which is a 30+ minute drive from home.
For those who’ve suggested VA benefits, how has the application process for you been? The director who took me on the tour yesterday said that the VA has a habit of denying and delaying as long as they can, and that it’s worth the cost of getting help applying for VA. I’m already running into paperwork difficulties, and can see us getting overwhelmed with technicalities.
Is Dad a member of The American Legion, by chance? The Legion is running radio ads around here about their VA advocate services, taking one for the team when applying for VA benefits. I haven’t listened close enough to know if their services are for all veterans, or just Legion members.
I’d have beat you if I hadn’t stopped for milk and stuff!! But, I agree, it was a pleasure. Plus I got to my car with 2 minutes left on the meter, so yay!! But I still haven’t decided what supper will be.
And just make everyone jealous, **Tugig **showed me his x-ray, so neener neener neener!!
It was a very nice lunch in a nice little restaurant and I suspect if he hadn’t had to go to work, we’d still be sitting and chatting. My own fault for not just befriending retirees…
Tyger, I rarely see him, and he’s always been nice as can be to me, so that may be the way to go. What I’m going to do is talk to my sis first - the oldest of the bunch and the upper-middle class one - to get her reaction/opinion and all.
I’ve been looking at other facilities online, and none of them hold a candle to the one I saw yesterday. sigh We all want the best for our loved ones, don’t we?
Actually managed to walk alllll the way into the city centre, do some shopping, and walk back yesterday- at least 2 miles, maybe 3 with all the wandering round. Was great to be able to walk that far without getting all wobbly or exhausted, but now I have blistery feet, because the skin’s gone so soft with not being used. Ow.
Still gloriously sunny, very odd for the time of year- I should not be too hot in a t-shirt before the trees have even started putting leaves out. It’s wrong. It should all be wet and miserable. Tried to go do some gardening stuff, but got distracted by finding a teeny tiny baby slow worm- a legless lizard, not a worm. They’re not all that common, and I’ve never seen a baby one before (not my pic, alas, I didn’t bring a camera, but it looked very like that), so didn’t do much 'cos I kept trying to find more of them. Got covered in mud anyway, so went to the pub for a pint in the sun, having pretended to do a hard day’s work.
Going to try go to the hippy pottery class again tomorrow- let’s see what woo they believe in this week!
My mom’s funeral was a parade of smart-aleckry. My oldest nephew started it. He declared after the graveside service that he wanted to see where the “burned people” are so he went running off to the crematory’s memorial garden with his little brother and cousins in tow. And me, I run interference on the kids at family gatherings.
I was no better. My sister stopped the car when she saw them lowering Mom’s coffin and my response was “I think she would have referred to this as a planting.” Older Sister said, “Yeah, she would.”
My mom would be so proud of all of us. I mean that seriously.
My dad was buried in his tuxedo. My youngest sister said we should have buried him one of those t-shirts printed to look like a tux, and post a sign saying “I died, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.” He’d have cracked up at that!
This is the low blood sugar that accompanied the panic attack that phouka had.
This is the car ride through the neighborhood during the low blood sugar that accompanied the panic attack that phouka had.
This is the brother that is going to die because of the car ride through the neighborhood during the low blood sugar that accompanied the panic attack that phouka had because he fucking took Dad to lunch WITHOUT GODDAMN TELLING ME leaving me to think my father had wandered off because he was hungry and tired of waiting for brother to take him to lunch.
This is the crime scene that won’t be cleaned up, because no jury on Earth would convict me for killing my brother that caused the car trip during the low blood sugar that accompanied the panic attack that phouka had.
[sub]Fucking hell, people! I was having a good day. Really, I was![/sub]
Oh, my, Wile E, I’m so sorry to hear your news. Hugs.
And hugs for Kanga and Soapy and everyone else who needs 'em.
That was a very moving OP, Soapy. Your dad sounds like he was an amazing and tough person. Thank you for sharing something about him with us.
Yay for the new digs, Shiny One! And for getting to go back to work, rosie! Hope things go well for both of you.
The chicken and lobster story was…quite impressive, ruble.
This is going to be a long week at work. At least we’re getting close to our implementation. But still. I’m in motion from the second I get to work until I leave and…it’s tiring.
Am Not! : holds breath till he turns blue and passes out :
Yay Shinycat!!!
mmmmmmm, holy @##%#%#$! I go insane at the 35min mark of a conference call.
Kanga, :eek: I’d kill brother, too.
So, the weekend:
My “just friend” was babysitting her grandkids. We took 'em to Romano’s Macaroni Grill(Great food, sloth like service). we had a good time, although the kids were wearing more of my noodles than I ate. when we got home, the two year old locked out of her house. I managed to jimmy the door, before anything bad happened(And we will never mention this to mom. ) After Mom picked 'em up, we ended up going to see a band, then went back to her place and fell asleep watching TV. Next day I went back and we watched the UNC/KU game(She’s a UNC fan, bless her heart). I was a gentleman and didn’t taunt “just friend”:), even though I’m an ABC(anyone but Carolina) guy. All in all a fun weekend.
Heh.
OK, FCM, so tugig showed you his. Did you show him yours? takes some of the big, juicy, nice-smelling strawberries her deskmate has offered and passes them to kanga
We buried Dad in his “good suit” which he’d worn to something like an awards ceremony and a pair of weddings. The Bros and I thought it should have been slacks, a shirt, his V-neck grey sweater (favorite clothes) and a red beret (for his politics and our homeland both), but Mom disagreed. I know it’s all going to rot anyway, but somehow using favorite clothing seems more appropriate than using something the corpse’s former wearer didn’t even like.
Nava, I didn’t know he’d share such a gem, otherwise, I could have taken the films from my mammogram 2 years ago. And before anyone asks, I have them because I changed where I get that particular procedure done and I needed to bring them along, except the original place screwed up and didn’t get them to me before last year’s appointment, so now they’re just in a closet. Maybe I should frame them and hang them up…
And yes, I’m up stupidly early again. I intended to sleep in after my sweetie left for work, but once I moved the idiot cat and got into a more comfortable position, I was suddenly wide awake, so here I am. And when it gets light out, I’ll load the bed of the truck with as much wood as I can then haul it all to the landfill to be mulched. This afternoon, I’ll be hitting DMV to straighten out an insurance issue, my Dr’s office for an EKG, and the pharmacy for my GoLytely - rah. So an exciting day on tap.
Good Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffienatin’. YAWN 'Tis 60 Amurrkin out with a predicted high of 86. I have planned a weekend of yahd irk but the weather forecast says 50% chance of rain Sattidy. We shall see.
So, MOOOOOOM is Giggity as yummy in person as he is in his pic?
Ruble what can I say. The man knows how to have himself an outing. Maybe he had to go to Edwardsville cause he was tired of the roasted chikins the stores in Wilkes-Barre serve. Reminds me of the time a woman threw a fit in the movie theater in my hometown because the manager told her she could not bring in a bucket of KFC. She threw the chikin at him and stormed out.
kanga kill your brother. We’ll all be witnesses.
Now I need me some more caffiene and rumbly tummy wants to be fed. Then, alas, irk purtification must commence.
My Sainted Grandma F was buried in the wrong shade of lipstick. This is because she had two sons. They gave the funeral home that tube of lipstick because it was barely used. They did not think that there was a reason it was barely used (it wasn’t hot pink or bright red). Every female at Sainted Grandma F’s funeral commented on it. My dad and uncle were
But I still haven’t decided what supper will be.
was babysitting her grandkids. We took 'em to Romano’s Macaroni Grill(Great food, sloth like service). we had a good time, although the kids were wearing more of my noodles than I ate. when we got home, the two year old locked out of her house. I managed to jimmy the door, before anything bad happened(And we will never mention this to mom. ) After Mom picked 'em up, we ended up going to see a band, then went back to her place and fell asleep watching TV. Next day I went back and we watched the UNC/KU game(She’s a UNC fan, bless her heart). I was a gentleman and didn’t taunt “just friend”:), even though I’m an ABC(anyone but Carolina) guy. All in all a fun weekend.