I think it was the bear, just channelling your spirit.
Ding, I know you are a little nervous. I know you really like to be clean. But please, please, please let the fur grow back on your legs and belly? You’re already fat as a bowling ball and with your tiny bone structure, your little bald stick-legs just look silly. You don’t need to groom 23 out of every 24 hours. We all think you look just fine. Really. The vet says there is nothing wrong so please just relax.
This is an awesome thread! I’m going to print this out and show it to all my pet-loving friends. I love you guys. 
Can I play?
To my Bloodhound, Wayne:
When you are sleeping, and you are flopped on the sofa with your flews dangling over the edge, and you wake suddenly at some small noise I have made, why must you immediately shake your massive head and sling drool a good ten feet? Why must your drool form an unbreakable chemical bond with every hard surface it comes into contact with, drying to a rock-hard slick of snarf that not even paint thinner can remove?
When you have eaten too much canned food, and it has given you gas, why must you insist on sleeping on the bed?
You know that the cat does not like to be wet. You know that after you take a drink of water, your face and your ears are soaking, and you know this because you often sniff at the line of dripping water you trail behind you as you head for the Good Couch, to soak it, too, lest it feel left out. But why, oh, why, must you detour to the cat, and try to show him how great it is to have water dripping from his face? And why, after he has brutally rebuffed you with teeth and claws, why must you turn to me with unexpressable sorrow and confusion in your eyes, so that I feel like an asshole and will let you on the Good Couch?
To my Pitbull, Grim:
Why do your feet smell like corn chips?
Why must you belch exclusively in my face?
I love you, but please, I am starting to worry. Why corn chips?! What have you been up to?!
To the rats, whom I love with all my heart, but who insist on urinating every ten seconds:
Girls, stop. This is why you are not allowed on the bed unless I put the towels down first. I realize this is your way of marking out your territory. But really, you are the only rats around. I promise you that no one will ever try to take away your beloved towel, even if it is not splattered with little drops of pee.
And stop chewing holes in the towels!!! And my clothes. And my shoes. And stop hiding sunflower seeds in the pillows. Because you forget about them, and only later, in the small hours, when I have just woken up and am still groggy and unfocused, I find these seeds stuck to my face and mistake them for giant, bloated ticks carrying debilitating diseases. You must also stop sniffing your sister’s butt, Fin. This is how fights start, and you kow that she will always beat you up, because you are timid and she is bold, and thus she has no qualms about rat-slapping you upside the head. Please stop doing these things, for I love you, but you make me crazy.
ah… girl rats
Much better than the boy rats with the Twin Engines sticking out the back.
You know, I knew they were unfertilized eggs and I knew hens laid them, but other than that I hadn’t given it much thought.
My birdy knowledge is woefully inadequate.
[font=1]So if you wanted to have actual baby birds, does the boy bird fertilize the eggs before they are laid or after? I’ve heard of hamsters breeding in captivity but I’ve never heard of a pet owner being surprised with a baby bird…[/font=1]
As is my vBcode. ::sigh::
Before the eggs are laid, the bird needs to get laid. 
My cockatiel goes through egg laying phases. She’ll lay between three and six eggs in a few days. It’s common for the breed. They’ll even lay eggs if they are alone, much less not mating. They will nest the eggs instinctually no matter what. And unfortunately, a common cause of death for female cockatiels is
I take them away since the conure thinks they are toys. Once he managed to crack one and get it stuck to his chest while I was at work. I came home to a bird who looked like he got one bad breast implant.
originally posted by conurepete
I replace the perches in the bird cage yearly for that reason alone. There’s several wooden and rawhide toys both in the cage as well as the playground I made on the top of the cage, but Tupac will make stakes out of his perches. Of course, if we were attacked by vamps, I have the feeling he could be bribed with an apple slice to look the other way. 
Crap.
To finish the sentence…a common cause of death for female cockatiels is complications during egg laying. I lost my first cockatiel to a stuck egg.
Rawhide? Why is there something vaguely disturbing about picturing little birdies gnawing on cow skin? :eek:
So about a week ago I can home and Muphy had made such progress on the CD rack that the bottom shelf had just collapsed, strewing CDs onto the floor. Murphy was unhurt, CD rack was terminal. So we got some of the CD sleeve books and Murphy gets a new playstand in his corner of the room.
Other things I’ve learned-- unlike cats and dogs, since birds don’t have as much moisture in their beaks they can chew on electrical cords more or less with impunity. Relieving but annoying. “Sweetie, where’s the electrical tape? The VCR needs help. . .”
Worse than rawhide might be the birds’ love of scrambled egg.
What’s worse is giving them hardboiled eggs, shells included. That’s on orders from the vet - the eggshells give them essential nutrients. They get specially mixed Parrot Food, raw fruits/vegetables and once a week, an egg.
The rawhide is for the constant chewing conures do. Even with wooden toys, a cuttlefish, and a solid vitamin block, Tupac looks for new things to gnaw. It’s rawhide, which he loves, or he eats the wall. Literally.
ahhhhhhhhh…walls…I remember walls, and wall decorations and plant stands and shirts without little holes chewed in them and wall paper (thats the rabbit…for some strange reason he peeled the wallpaper off part of one wall:smack: …good thing I was planning to redo that room (like i have a choice now)…dam rodent:mad: )
I would be a very happy camper if I could get my feathered friends beaks to go near rawhide…
sigh they are dam luckey I love them:D
Okay, I get that Mr. and Mrs. Birdy have to do the deed before she lays eggs in order to have a “live” egg. Does that mean that if you have a male and female bird living together you might end up with real live baby birds? In captivity, I mean. I know this happens in the wild all the time lest we have no more birds.
Originally posted by Willow_fire
Get a small piece/toy - the ones made for puppies are perfect - and wet it first.
Originally posted by PunditLisa
Anything’s possible.
Lucky for me, Tupac and Kurt are different species and share a platonic relationship. The most they do is groom each other. Tupac does have a “girlfriend”, a toy made of knotted/braided rope. He’ll groom it gently then commence the frantic humping. I’m always tempted to dim the lights and play some Nine Inch Nails when he gets going.