Dear Grocery Store Morons, or rather…the morons who invented the Self-Chekout machines at the grocery store:
First,let me tell you that your machines suck ass. Big ass. I absolutely refuse to use them because they suck so much ass. How can such a thing, reported to be for convience,suck big ass, you ask? Well, first off, every time I put something into a bag on the little carousel dohickey, the machine yells at me. “PLEASE RE_SCAN ITEM AND PLACE INTO BAG!!!PLEASE RE_SCAN ITEM AND PLACE INTO BAG!!!” It was ok the first time or two when I didn’t know what I was doing but it soon got to be annoying not only to me but to the other customers at the other three self-checkout lines and the cashier who kept turning around to stare at me like I was some redneck imbecile who’d never had any contact with modern technology. Second…whenever I try to use my Kroeger Plus card, your machine tells me to re-scan it six or seven times before it works. UGH!!! Thirdly,if I even dare to move a bag off the carousel and into my cart because I have too many items to fit into the bags on the carousel, the machine throws a fit and yells at me some more. “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAG!PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM IN THE BAG!!”. Ugh. I really hate these machines. Either fix them so they aren’t so hard to use or get rid of them altogether.
Thanks.
I don’t use it unless CG is with me. He loves those things…says they are so much faster than waiting in line. Ugh.I avoid them like the plague. Even when I’m with him and I’m grocery shopping, I stand waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back and pretend to read the latest edition of say…oh…the Weekly World News or something, like I don’t even know him because I don’t want to be associated with a screaming machine.
The ones at the grocery store I go to work really well. I hate it when I go there and those lanes are closed, because I don’t like going to a regular check out with a cashier. It always takes 3 times as long.
Wednesday, at the store, I had to wait 20 minutes behind some dumbass bitch who was buying four wicker baskets, tried to use a sales-tax exemption card she didn’t have with her, didn’t have cash, didn’t have credit cards, had no more checks in her check book, and eventually paid with 3 $1 bills and a whole bunch of change, mostly pennies.
Naturally, there was only one person working at that damn store that day, and my mom absolutely fucking positively needed that god damn Wilton paste food coloring THAT DAY. No self-check out line. UG.
Count me on the side of someone who loves those things. Mind you, I only love them now because everyone is still afraid to use them and so I get to march up and breeze through. Once everyone is over that and decides to use them, the lines will be long again and the things will suck more than a badly trained cashier ever did
Oh good, let’s dump the cashiers into the unemployment lines!
Let’s see:
Gas station attendants - gone
Bank tellers - nearly gone
Service station mechanics - gone
and don’t get me started on the “warehouse-full-of-crap” stores that are killing real stores because consumers are idiots who know nothing about quality.
That’s practically all I use anymore. Takes awhile to get the hang of them but I’m getting pretty good at it.
The clerk in charge of the operation is the key. If they’re any good they’re johnny-on-the-spot with the reset button whenever the machine get’s picky. What’s bad is if clerkmeister’s away from their post or not paying attention or a rude, inconsiderate a$$hole that acts like you’re an idiot for actually requiring assistance with the damn thing.
Try using paper instead of plastic sometime. A laugh riot !
Three cheers for happy heathen!
Hop hop HOORAY! Hop hop Hooray! Hop hop Hooray!
Yes,thanks to the modernization of our world, people who are willing to work hard to pay de bills get phased out by those damn machines.
It’s 2001:Spacy Odessey happening and we don’t even realize it. Soon our world will be controlled by a giant robot named Hal…or something.
I’ve tried to go with the flow and use these things, and while I do seem to be getting better at it, it’s those damn plastic bags that are slowing me down! They are so hard to peel apart, the last time I was at Ingle’s, it looked like a blizzard around my head as I was tossing those things right and left trying to find one that would open up! All the time that idiot voice kept telling me to “place your items back in the bag!”
I picked 'em all up and gave that person who stands at that podium a dirty look as I walked outta there.
I can see how a person could easily have a coronary trying to fend for themselves at those things.
Modernization, bah! I like the “human touch”.
[cranky old man]
“We didn’t have modernization when I was a boy! We were primitive, stood in line and paid! And we liked it!”
I love them, but the one at my local Winn Dixie sucks ass, too! I fucking scan the thing, and it doesn’t take right. It tells me to scan again. I scan again. It reads it. Then it doesn’t think I put it on the belt or some shiznit. Then if I have produce the fucking 100 year old guy who watches that area has to toddle over and look up the code I already know. AHHH FUCK! Never mind then!
I love the concept, but there are bugs in some of them that will make you crazy.
Yup. That’s why I don’t use them, Zette. I used to enjoy going to the grocery store…but that was before the [insert scary voice here]INVASION OF THE MUTANT ALIEN SELF-CHECKOUT COUNTERS!!![/end scary voice]
I like the ones at my market, for a limited number of uses. I don’t use it if I have too many groceries to fit into one “round”, and the machine would have to be reset. And I don’t use it if I have coupons that the machine won’t accept (for instance, for a free item, or the money-off coupons found on late-date meats in the meat case). But if I’m only picking up a few things, I’m happy to have it. Especially if it’s something of a personal nature, like K-Y Jelly or condoms or something.
My mother insists on using her own bags so as not to use the plastic ones. The machine always yells at her because it thinks she is putting something extra in her bag. I however, think those things are so cool! It’s the novelty of the thing. And I’m getting better at speaking Spanish, so I always click the button that makes it talk in Spanish. I’m so often easily amused.
If I want to work at a grocery store, I will APPLY at the damn grocery store, and get PAID for working at the damn grocery store.
When I am a PAYING CUSTOMER, on the other hand, I expect to be waited on by courteous employees, dammit. And I have never met an employee ANYWHERE who could match a machine for stupidity OR rudeness…
I love those machines, but it always seems that whenever I shop and go to use it for my 3 items, there is a family with enough children to populate China and a chain of carts that extends for several aisles. Those people need to be shot on site, as they have no idea what the purpose of those machines are. The purpose of them is not family fun but for me to get in and out of the store as quickly as possible without killing anyone.
I like them. I use them all the time when I make small purchases of less than 10 items. I’ve never had any trouble with them. At the supermarkets that I shop at they are used like express lines for people with 15 items or less. On the occassions when I have more items to purchase I use the regular lines.
