An Open letter to the Hp8500a Printer at Work

You absolute horror of a printer, I give you a simple job, print some shit in black and white, it is your ONLY FUCKING JOB, I have disabled all color printing and given crystal clear instructions for you to only use black ink and here we are, after asking you to print some black and white pages you spent 45 goddamn minutes masturbating (excuse me I mean “cleaning print heads”) instead of fucking printing and what do you have to say after words? Cannot print, out of FUCKING COLOR INK IN ALL 3 CARTRIDGES?

You goat felching piece of shit. It was 75$ to get the extra big ones all full of color in YOU ARE NEVER SUPPOSED TO USE so that you know we can print our low quality black and white pages and not see this fucking message.

while we are on the topic, does anyone know of a fucking printer that doesnt cost a dollar a page for black and white copies? what about the “Brother” brand?

Get an HP laser, HP inkjets are crap, decent midrange HP lasers you can feed them loose gravel and they keep on going. B&W Lasers are also much lower cost to feed. I have an hp 1312 Color laser that has been chugging along at 30-50 pages a day for about 4 years now at my shop. I have seen 2000 series HP Lasers run for 12+ years.

It is just amazing to me how utterly crappy the whole printing process is. I can get my computers to talk to each other; I can skype clear around the world; I can stream video like nobody’s business. Why is getting a printer to work so comically hard? Geez, this is 2012, people!

Alot of the problem I see is not bad printers, but bad choices. Personally I think any officedepot/Bestbuy/whatever flunkie selling inkjet printers to most businesses should be hit with a 2x4 until the urge to sell injets goes away.

The fellows who made money selling the printer want to make more money selling cartridges.

Brother had an inexpensive laser printer, model 2070. They last for a couple three years. I recommend HP mono lasers. They last longer.
That depends, of course on whether you are writing your Mother once a week or printing a couple of copies of the phone book daily.

Date out-of-range error, cancelling printing


Thread winner!

Pc load letter

…indeed. It won’t be too long and I predict this will happen:

- YouTube

(Warning: bad language)

lp0 is on fire

My new HP computer kept insisting that my old HP Laserjet multifunction printer was actually an external CD-ROM drive. And don’t get me started on HP ePrint.

Did you get a copy of that memo?

I think your answer is clearly a monochrome laser. I have a Brother HL-2040 and, other than the fact that I wish I could actually figure out how to network it (not it’s fault, it wasn’t designed for it), it’s given me nothing but good service in light use for more than seven years. It took me something like four years before I had to replace the starter toner and I expect the drum I put it to last until something breaks.

I’d suggest a Brother, but HP lasers are actually pretty good as well. If you anticipate actually needing color printing, spend the extra cash on a color laser. The toner will last a long time without going bad, mid-range color laser is pretty cheap these days, and the cap ex will pay off better in the long run than buying useless inkject cartridges.

My Epson WorkForce Pro is quite economical with the print cartridges. We use the XLs, and in eight months none have dropped below 50% (the black, which we use the most, has a higher capacity than any of the three color, I think).

I wonder if it is using the color cartridges to print gray (all colors combined), even when you set it to black and white mode. That seems like the sort of boneheaded thing I could see HP doing. And that would explain the color being out even though you expressly print in only black and white.

Agreed. If the only fucking job is to print in black and white, quickly and cheaply, a laser printer is what you want. Any reliable brand; I’ve used Samsung and Canon models for home use and been happy with both.

Funny timing. My 8500 is also acting up. First, part of the document feeder in the lid fell out, and despite my best efforts to put it back together, I can’t feed anything through it, so now, it’s usefulness as a scanner or fax is impaired.

Now, it’s acting like it’s low on black ink, even though it claims the cartridge is half full. It can print a single page OK, but two pages, the text starts to fade away.

It’s gotten to the point that I’m thinking of replacing it with best-of-breed devices like a SnapScan, a b/w networked laser that duplexes, and a color inkjet.

Are there any color laser all-in-ones that work well?

I hate them. They ruined everything! :slight_smile:

Seriously, I believe that the manufacturers have to scrimp on costs to make an “all in one” comparable in price to stand alone printers, and they don’t do any of the all well.

My HP laser printer has been working for home use for about 10 years. I have had nothing but poor performance with a series of ink jet printers. At home I don’t print very often so the print heads would get crusted with gunk and stop working. I might have had better results if I printed more often than every few weeks.