I actually went to school with a “Colonel” he was a 6th (or possibly 7th) so there was really no question about what he was to be named.
To listen to my father tell the story, I came within a few hours of being named “Chevy,” but my mother (god bless her) slapped some sense into him just in time.
Now, Chevy would have been an interesting name for most people, but for me, it would have been absolutely horrible.
My last name? Vanne. Pronounced like you think it is.
I’ve worked a few jobs which gave access to the general public’s naming eccentricities over the years. One of my favorites was Rhea Dyer…pretty name, except when you have to fill out something in the order of LastName, FirstName. We could never figure out if her parents named her that, or if she married into it (had she never heard the word hyphenate?). Duc Phat was also always good for a chuckle, and ambidextrous to boot. I was up watching a local broadcast WB affiliate the other night, and they have for some reason started showing a program from China (I think) called “Tear of the Dragon.” The dialogue is in Chinese (again, I think), and it is subtitled in English and occasionally in Korean as well. The name of one of the actors was given as Yi Suk-bun. Odd visuals were inspired.
Talk about dropping jaws! I’m alternating between that and crying with laughter.
I came across the name “Celestine Schmatz” once. The combination of the lyrical and the pedestrian has stayed with me for years.
You wouldn’t read about it. Today, after chuckling over this thread for a while, I wandered out to the letter box to find a marriage certificate I’d ordered for the family tree had arrived. I’ve been anxiously awaiting this one, as it contained the names of my great grandmother’s parents, the last set of great great grandparents I had left to track down. Great great grandfather’s name - William Harvey. No worries. Great great grandmother’s name - Fanny Harvey. Nee Leaks.
Yes, I’m the great great granddaughter of Fanny Leaks. And, as discussed on another thread recently, Fanny in the US is different to Fanny in Australia and the UK. In the US, it’s another word for bottom. Over here, it’s another word for… vagina.
Poor old Ebeneezer Higginbottom loses his place as the worst name in the family tree today, people!
Heeheehee… Fanny Leaks! 
Did she live in Texas? I knew a girl named Rebel several years ago.
My great-great-uncle was the patriarch of my family when I was a child. His parents were German immigrants who settled in Milwaukee. They were named Groethe, pronounced like the poet Goethe but with an “r.” (Hard to write out - kinda “Gruh-teh”.) Of course, since they were now in America they Anglicised the pronunciation (not the spelling) to “Growth.”
And named my great-great-uncle—
Harry.
Not even Henry or Harold. Just Harry.
So he changed the pronunciation again, to “Growth-ee.” Can you imagine what kind of childhood the man had?
I can’t believe I forgot this: I know a woman who has four children (three daughters, one son).
Their names are:
Chakli (son)
Shaquon
Anniversary
and…
Lisa.
NO but she’s lived in OKlahoma, North Carolina, Washington, Arizona and California. We met several other Rebel’s when we lived in OKlahoma. I know she had a lot of problems in school because of her name, Rebel Lee, made alot of people think she was a racist. She tried to change her name to Rachel once but my Mom freaked so she dropped that thought.
Here in Australia we have a reputable and readable food journalist called Cherry Ripe.
This is also the name of a popular candy bar (coconut and cherry coated in dark chocolate - yum!)
Redboss
A friend who is a physician advised one of his patients not to name her daughter Dikinya. Didn’t work - the mother thought the name was just too pretty.
I’m printing and mailing this list to my sisters (both school teachers)!
It reminded me of a few …
one sister had a badly behaved boy in her class called Mark Hunt, not too bad, except the local accent meant the H would be dropped. One day she went into the staff room looking upset, when asked what was wrong she said “Mark Hunt’s been playing up again” except with her accent it was indistinguishable from "my cunt’s been playing up again "… from that day the teachers referred to the boy as York.
My other sister went to school with a Crystal Ball, who later took her step father’s name of Pallace (not sure of the spelling), which meant she was named after an area of south London and a soccer team.
A couple of years ago, I noticed a tennis player with the name Shi Ting Wang, which amused me - I shared an office with a Chinese guy at the time, so I asked him what it meant. He said it could mean several things (Chinese have something like four different intonations and so meanings for each basic sound) the worst case would be something like moist bud which would in turn mean wet clitoris.
Slightly off topic - for schoolteachers/childcare workers: my sisters and various other teachers (a few of my colleagues are have been teachers or are married to them) swear you know that kids with certain names are going to be trouble. This is most true for boys, and they all cite the name Wayne and more recently Kyle. Is there a similar pattern in the US ?(News of the Weird has a regular criminals with the secong name of Wayne feature).
I just mentioned this thread to a friend, who told me she met a Maylasian girl whose name meant “whore” in arabic, seems her parents were religious but not educated, in arabic at least, and just picked a word out of the Koran, figuring that would be ok.
Still, a big difference doing it out of ignorance than deliberately.
Oh yeah I agree Ceili is a stupid spelling spell it phonetically or use the dictionary version - Ceilidh. Or would that become Say-Lee-Dah ?
It probably started with famous parents.
The indubitable Bob Geldof named his daughters
Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches, and Pixie.
I knew a Monte Carlo.
I also knew a lady who named her daughter Aquanetta.
Of course! After her hairspray! My little sister went to school with an Aquanetta. And my older sister had a friend named Korvetta.
One of my stepbrother’s teachers was named Aquanetta.
Me thinks you have both been had.
People I have met personally
Mr. Frank Footer
Ms. Petti Kash–she was an accountant
Ms. Pocohontas Fields (Pokey for short)
I worked in the WIC office as a clerk.(this a government program designed to provide proper nutrition to W omen I nfants and C hildren). My duties included visiting the women in the hospital when they delivered their babies, working with the new applicants, maintaining the files etc. I actually met women who named their children D’Juan, D’Anthony, and D’Shuawnaa. Another named her girls Ciara,Krystal and Anais Anais One women named her kids Brandi, Chianti, and Shar D’onyae. One poor baby was named Destiny Renae Shu’she’ni Sha’shu’la Te’ka’ni Standing Water _____, Last name ommited but rhymes with snow. There were more Brittany Renee Nicole’s and Tyler Morgan Bradly’s than could be counted.
I’m not completly blameless, wanted to name my daughter Phoebe and my son Dylan but we settled on Melissa and Eric.
Saw the yearbook, hon. It was there in black and white.
There was a man in my home town named Otto Biehl (pronounced Beel) Middle name: Mo.
I have a friend named Neva, after an Aunt. Her grandmother was Oneida, and named her children after place names in an atlas. Neva had an uncle named Al, short for Alsace Lorraine.
My children’s names are almost normal. The first one’s a Junior. First name, James, middle name Dean. I snorted the first time I heard Jim’s full name, but it was the reverse of his father, Dean James. They weren’t thinking of the actor. My other son is Sean Adric, named for Sean Connery and a charcter from Dr. Who. I liked it, but insisted we bury it as a middle name. We watch too much TV, but why advertise it?
When I was in middle school we had a guy named Forrest Rainwater in our class. Also my friend’s older brother recently named his son Hunter. It’s not so bad untill you hear his last name, which is Cherry. I am just glad he did not name him Buster :.