Can we play another round of "What the hell were Mom and Dad thinking when they named the kid?"

I was on a parenting board and someone linked to a cute blog … their OB knits hats for the babies he delivers. An amazing idea with adorable results, but the names - oh the names of some of these kids! Here’s a sampling of some of the most WTF ones in my opinion. Anybody else see any good ones lately?


Gonna be a lot of pissed off kids who can’t get a pre-made key fob off the rack…

“Let’s go, Bort!”

I know a Daemonette…

Today over Mumble (voice chat) while playing WoW, I heard a dad yelling at his kid: Zeus.

Could that have been ‘Jesus’? They sound a lot alike.

Azrael? Really? I mean “creative” misspellings and “last names can be first names too!” are both annoying, but did Azrael’s parents not even do a simple Google search? Well, maybe they did. “Hmm, angel of death. Yes, that’s perfect. He’s our little angel … of death.”

“Brylee” isn’t too bad. I don’t like “-lee” spellings, but the name itself is fine I had a teacher who had this as her middle name (and why I remember this, I don’t know).

I know a Kelton. He’s gotta be around his late 40s. He goes by Kelly.

“Azriel” is a cool name for a cat.

That was Samuel L. Jackson’s character name in Die Hard: With a Vengeance

Daughter was in Kindergarten with a little girl named Vortex. Named after this guy. It is an unusual choice.

Crixus’ll stab ya! Hagen as well.

I hate all the Hayden Brayden Jayden names. Maybe Raiden would be cool (we pronounced it ray-den when young, know better now). And stuff like Krystyyn.

Maybe they though Mazzy Star was the name of the singer.

ETA: that must be the most brutal kindergarten ever!

names aren’t words, and few people associate their name with its meaning or etymology. i don’t see anything wrong with wanting a unique name for your child, especially in this age of Avarie537 or Jennifer463. it’s all a game of “would you rather be another Jennifer or have an odd name?”

I am all for using unique names for children, but half of them seem like alien names.

"I am Crixus from the planet Blargrah. I come in peace. "
What doesn’t sound like Alf’s weird cousins’ name, look like they are recipients of a parents horrible spelling.

Odd names are one thing. “Unique” spellings of incredibly trendy names are just bizarre. Phonetically, the kid is just one of 15 “Payton’s” in her class. But she’s UNIQUE and gets to spell it Paiyten (an example I actually saw on Facebook).

Carrie Anne

Saw this on a girl’s name tag at a Safeway. What kind of parent would hang a name like this on their kid? Knowing (or at least they ought to know) that the kid is thereby doomed for the rest of her life to hear the inevitable “Hey what’s your game now, can anybody play?”

Back when I saw some names in the legal system, I always wondered if they were setting their kids up to fail.

Juan Hummingbird
Crystl Skydancer
Lots of Darths, lots of Lukes, but the ones who always confused me were the kids named Chance.

Yes, because everyone under the age of 50 totally knows that song. (I’m 36. Pretty sure I’m the only one I know who knows it).

more likely she’ll be hit on by guys claiming to be The One for her.

Some of those names don’t seem so bad to me. Tenley Albright was a famous figure skater. She won the gold medal at the 1956 Winter Olympics.

Azriel doesn’t seem so bad to me–it hits me as very Jewish, in the same vein as names like Yehuda, Shimon, Reuven, etc. but not wacky by any stretch. Azriel of Girona was a notable medieval kabbalist.

My old boss named her daughter Riley. No, excuse me, Rylie. SHUT UP. There’s no excuse, that’s SPELLED WRONG.