I wasn’t sure if this should be in the BBQ Pit, but it’s more of an incredulous laugh than a rant… Mods feel free to move if you think otherwise. (Like you need my permission. 
)
British members of the Iraqi “Human Shield” return home citing “safety fears”. It occured to some that what they were doing might be dangerous.
Can I get a really BIG rolleyes in here?
They build up my faith in natural selection, then it all comes crashing down.
Is anyone surprised that the screen name of the poster who noticed this is Futile Gesture.
cue music
We interrupt the regularly scheduled program for this breaking news. A dozen British citizens left Iraq today, disposing of their hopes to use their bodies as physical shields between Baghdad and American military attacks.
According to a self-appointed spokesman for the group, “We realized that it was, like, dangerous, and we might get hurt. I mean, living in the desert is one thing, but dude, they might have, like, had a war or something…”
John Smith, a station expert in warfare, urges people not to attempt to impede the progress of any military weapon or vehicle, as it may be detrimental to your health. cut to token skinny, balding, Rent-an-Expert ™ “Many people tend to grossly overestimate the resistance that a human body can have on ICBMs and laser-guided heat seaking nuclear missiles. It’s generally a safe assumption that if the weapon or vehicle has twice the mass of a typical human body, nuclear capabilities, and/or a average velocity of several hundred miles per hour, a human body will provide very little resistance to the weapons passing.”
We recieved no official comment from the Iraqi government, however, one low-level aid did say that “A lot of those people seem really dumb, but if they want to stand between me an a tank, I’ll let them.”
Meanwhile, a collective sigh was heard from the executive committee of the Darwin Awards, who present posthumous honors to those who 'successfully eliminate themselves from the gene pool, and therefore better the future of humanity."
We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
cue more irritating newsflash music
Yeesh… :rolleyes:
Stay tuned for our related reports:
**Scientific study reports Pacific Ocean is wet.
Survey finds most people agree that dropping an anvil on your foot HURTS!**
I think this also qualifies. There are some ‘funny things’ about the memo like inconsistent spelling of people’s names and British spelling in an American memo, but bleh…duh.
Damn. I was hoping some of them might qualify for a Darwin award. Safety fears? They were going to be a human frickin shield for crying out loud. The mind boggles.
It’s more like a story in The Onion than a real story.
Can I get a count of what the ratio is of posts by Futile Gesture where somebody makes a remark about how apropos that user name is versus posts where it goes unnoticed?
Currently working at around 70%.
That’s the trouble with using irony on an American message board. They think they’re being really smart when they notice it. 
Currently working at around 70%.
That’s the trouble with using irony on an American message board. They think they’re being really smart when they notice it.
Currently working at around 70%.
That’s the trouble with using irony on an American message board. They think they’re being really smart when they notice it.
There’s a sig line for the ages.
I think I read about that story in Duh! magazine.
And in the spirit (if not the letter) of Gaudere’s Law, the post insulting other posters gets sent three times. Smugness goeth before a fall.
Aw, c’mon. The headline didn’t reflect the article.
The article quoted people saying that they were prepared to die, if they thought it would make a difference; but not as many people had come to act as human shields as the’d hoped, and the Iraqi government was directing them away from hospitals and toward sites they didn’t want to be protecting, and that some of the people who left hadn’t been planning on staying anyway.
You may think them silly or offensive, but the headline writer was just being smug, rather than being accurate.
Daniel
I think that much as I enjoy bashing silly people, I’ll have to side with DanielWithrow on this one. I mean, I might estimate the risk of Dubya ordering a strike that will kill 10,000 UK/ US citizens to be an acceptable risk, but if it’s just me and 5 buddies standing in front of the missile, I’d bail on safety grounds, too…
Point taken DanielWithrow but they’re still being silly. Did they honestly think (a) they wouldn’t have problems recruiting people to stand in front of military targets, and (b) a country run by a dictator preparing for war would just let a bunch of Westerners roam around and pick their targets? It’s a dictatorship. To complain that they didn’t expect a dictator to dictate to them is silly.
Hey! Not my fault! Don’t know what happened there. I only posted once, but it took forever for it to submit. I think the hamsters had a fit around about then.
And I wasn’t insulting, I was being sarcastic.
My point exactly. I’m on the same side as these idiots. I don’t want a war either. But I’ve the sense to realize that ;
Saddam is not a nice person. He will take advantage of your voluntary presence until you cease to be helpful, then he will use you whichever way suits his purposes. This includes the possibility of an ugly death.
Your presence in the country will not hold up military action in the slightest.
So to go out to Iraq and act surprised when things turn out to be life threatening displays amazing naivety.
Done, done, done, done, done, and done.
Futile Gesture I would consider changing my name if I were you. I would imagine you are getting sick of people noting the irony of it with respect to your OPs.