And I bet you know just where to stick that Resscue 8, EMS!!!

The BBQ Pit
1

I have an hour to kill at an EMS store in downtown Denver, so I go in to browse and grab an extra quick draw. I go straight to the desk by the climbing gear and ask for a quick-draw to be greeted by a first rate, “duh, what do you mean by quick draw.” At least a good 9.7. I get the draw then wander around the store for about 40 minutes looking for some stuff I need to get at somepoint like a Kelty Storm, some shell pants, Tevas, etc. When looking for the shell pants, a sales assosciate wonders over and tells me that if I plan to do some ice climbing I need some pants with reinforced shins for the front-points.

Thanks for the tip; I hear those pants with two legs are pretty nice too.

He tells me that it should be reinforced with a high-tech fabric some, “I forget the name.”

Kevlar, I suggest? “No, not Kevlar.” (Yes, Kevlar)

Spectra? “No, not Spectra.” (Yes, even better than Kevlar)

Cordura? “Yeah! That’s it.” (It’s cheap-ass nylon for God’s sake)

Enough of this shit, and I wonder back over to the climbing area and look at a few ascenders, Rescue 8s, and some 12.5mm rescue rope. Suddenly, the same idiotic sales-rep that did not recognize a quick-draw sees me, runs over, and starts adjusting the rope as if my touching it had done it some sort of grievous harm and mumbles some sort of shit about, “that’s rescue rope, don’t touch it, its very specific, for rescues, fire fighters, and what not. Very specific.” I AM ON A FUCKING ROCK RESCUE TEAM!!! Like I would even buy a quick-draw from him. I give him the draw and leave.

And you know just where to stick that double pronged rescue eight, EMS!

2

Lemmee guess, 3mae . . . you walked out without explanation or talking to the manager?

3

… most major chain gear stores are staffed by people unable or unwilling to climb/hike. I don’t rock climb, but the crap I’ve overheard listening to salescritters talk about backcountry and telemark skis has made my skin crawl. I want to say to the customers “Run, don’t walk, away from this place and get thee to a real store with salespeople who actually use the stuff!”

4

Here’s a scary thought: I wonder how many amateurs have walked into one of those stores and actually made purchases based upon what the untrained sales people said?

5

I was about to write in and tell you to lighten up until I read Jeep’s post. Then it hit me. These fuckers are messing with your life here. If they don’t give you the right equipment, you could die. And they are likely telling relative amateurs to use incorrect or incompatible equipment.
Damn, man. Get your ass back in that store and complain. It could save a life.

6

Ex-EMSer here. Oh, all right, I’ll admit it, I used to be an assistant manager. I only worked for them for 2 years total, but my husband worked for them for over 5 years.

My expert opinion: threemae’s got it about right.

p.s. for those of you who don’t know what a rescue-8 looke like…well all I can say is “ouch!” That bugger’s gotta be harder to remove than a gerbil!