's alright, gramps, we’ll find your glasses soon. In the meantime, I’ll help you get those whippersnappers off your lawn.
The whole dietary thing comes off to me as some sort of passive-aggressive drama thing. Forcing other people to spend an inordinate amount of energy worrying about YOUR NEEDS.
Seriously? No white foods? Go fuck yourself. Oh wait, no. That might involve a certain WHITE fluid. Can’t have that now!
My mum, bless her, is a pain to cook (or arrange meals out) for. But she doesn’t go around expecting people to organise themselves around her (even though in fact you end up having to). I guess it’s a case of not what you do, but how you do it.
(Goes for a nice nap.)
I laughed out loud:
The lesbian porn one made me crack up - but this one might win prizes for outright insanity…
My favourite lines are the bolded ones.
I love this website. My in-laws (and my parents) are kinda crazy, but it appears they could be oh, so much worse…
This one deserves to be mentioned:
Yeah, sometime in the future my mother in law would be sending me an email asking why we never invite them for dinner. I’d be answering it with ‘your son isn’t a great cook.’
(My husband is a great cook and my mother in law knows better. But we did have - for a few years - my brother’s wife - the Whining Gluten Free Vegan. I have no issues with Vegetarians or Vegans. I do have issues with “salad? Why does everyone feed me salad? I get so tired of it.”
Yeah, the ficus tree is just weird - why is she saying the wife is “behind” it? Like, did she egg him on to shit in the tree’s pot?
C’mon. Shit in the Ficus. You know you want to. C’mon. Just do it.
It’s really weird that she’d assume the wife was behind it. I mean c’mon, if someone has a brother they should be prepared for them to shit in a tree pot.
Really. If my brother were to shit in my ficus tree, I would be far more likely to think that my sil would bludgeon him to death when she found out than that she was behind it. Also, if someone was behind their husband shitting in someone’s ficus, I’m fairly certain they would already be aware that it had happened and thus wouldn’t need to be notified.
(Maybe I can pretend they’re the same person and it’ll make me feel better.)Maybe not the brother of the SIL author of the email, but the husband of the SIL author may be the brother of the shitting husband, which would make it make sense. haha. Too complicated.
I’m not real familiar with ficus trees - are the leaves good for wiping?
mmm
This was pretty awesome
My thoughts exactly. Sure, she’s a little off her rocker - I’m just 24 and she’s asked for an ETA on popping out a baby. She once blamed me her washing machine not working on my Downy ball. But man, these people are of a *totally *different universe.
Not particularly - they’re pretty small.
“Oh shit, I think I hit ‘send’”
:eek: What the heck is a regulation-sized casserole? There’s a regulating authority for serving-ware?! 
No, I think this is “I’m divorcing your son, why in the hell do you think I still want to go to your Christmas party? I might have been deluded into thinking I liked your son, but I’ve NEVER liked you.”
Read like that, its a lovely email. I sort of wish email would have been an established form of communication when my husband and I divorced. It would have been nice to tell my ex-mother in law that “no really, my opinion on a color for the bedroom I share with your son is more important than your opinion.”
(Also, “it isn’t considered well behaved to take your son’s girlfriend on vacation with you before his wife is aware of her existence and before they are separated. But, hey, what’s a few months between in-laws when it comes to your son’s happiness?”)