What people describe their same sex BFF relationship in terms of sexual attraction?
What are you even talking about?
I don’t believe that’s what is happening here. You are encountering opposition because you stated a belief that is held to be false by medical experts.
It didn’t help that you cited Christianity as your justification for the belief (rather than evidence).
It really didn’t help that you contradicted yourself a few posts later when it was pointed out that people with a choice are by definition bisexual. Here’s the contradiction:
If sexuality is a choice, why did you choose to be aroused by naked women. Could you choose to be aroused by naked men? Try it. If it’s a choice, why don’t you choose it?
Does anyone else see the OP is just one long humble-brag.
This needs to be clarified. Bisexuals clearly have more of a choice *in their behavior *than exclusive heterosexuals or homosexuals. But they don’t have a choice to change their internal bisexuality . . . short of extreme repression.
For what it’s worth, I don’t think “it’s a phase” is a) negative or b) negating that sexual orientation is biological rather than a choice.
Even Kinsey, he of the famous scale, said that your position on that scale was only valid for a specific time and place. I’d add “stage of development” to that, and maybe “circumstance.” I’ve been straight, bi, so bi-I’m-almost-homo, and back to straight again. When I’m straight, I’m uninterested in women, for years. Not “I choose to be interested in men,” but biologically uninterested in women in a sexual way.
It can be a phase at 13 due to myriad factors, including hormones, maturity, female intimacy and access to girls…and it can be just as real as someone who is bi for life. And then, sometimes, the hormones change, boys grow up, whatever, who knows, and then they’re straight. Or homosexual. Whatever. The point is, if it was a phase…that doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. Sexuality can be mutable without being chosen.
You aren’t unaccepted because you’re a Christian, but because you are using what sounds like judgmental rhetoric. Why is there even a discussion of “personal responsibility” and what the fuck does that have to do with transgender? What are transgendered people supposed to “chose wisely” about?
I know Christians who use that same rhetoric to continue to argue that LGBT individuals are sinning against your God and we should “love the sinner but not the sin” which is complete bullshit.
There is no sin here.
Looks more like she’s curious, not really bi --yet. I’m just surprised she got curious about it sooner than heterosexual sex. She’s still a virgin, right?
Since she’s 25 now, probably not. 
As a bisexual, I wanted to throw this out there. I didn’t choose to be bisexual, that is I didn’t choose to feel aroused by people of either gender, but I did choose to self identify as bisexual. In this discussion of sexuality and preference we frequently come done to an argument between choice and nature, with the choice argument defining sexuality as something you do, or something you say, and the nature argument defining it as something you are.
In my life have have met plenty of people whose sexuality label doesn’t match-up with their sexual actions. The common example here seems to be the woman who went through a bi phase in college, but now self-identifies as straight. I’ve certainly known women like that, but I also know women who self-identify as lesbian, yet occasionally sleep with men, and men that self-identify as straight, but will probably be up for some same sex action after two drinks. I am willing to accept that those women are lesbians, that those guys are straight, and that celibate priests (that seem a bit lavender) are totally straight you guys. I will even on a good day, accept crazy closet cases that call for reenacting sodomy laws all the while having random public bathroom sex are straight. I believe that you get to choose your own label.
I also believe that the trend of today’s youth of picking weirder niche sexuality and gender identity labels is a sign that these labels are going to become more and more meaningless. The more letters that get added to the LGBTQ… the less likely anyone is to remember what those letters mean.
Among other things, bisexuals (like everybody else), still like only some people. Being bisexual doesn’t mean you want to go to bed with anything that moves, what it means is that some of the people you find attractive are of one gender, some of the other.
And pansexual, that your attraction doesn’t really take gender and other social “sex-related labels” into account. You may fall in love with a man, a woman, a drag queen or someone who’s mid-transition but, again, not with anybody.
I’m a Christian too (unless you’re one of those people who think Catholics aren’t), but I know I never chose to like a certain “type”, or to be straight. I figure panache45 never chose to like guys either, any more than either of us chose which sex to be born or how tall to be.
Frankly, I think that is a good thing - it helps people get their heads around the non-binary nature of things we’ve seen as binary. Labels are useful, but limiting, and the longer the string of alphabet soup gets, the more we recognize how limiting the label is.
Of course, some people will get hung up on the label - young people in particular seem to love to both be defined and have a need to be unique.
On a personal level, this is what it comes down to. Unless I’m having sex with you, your sexuality really doesn’t make a difference to me. Unless I’m having sex with you, your gender really doesn’t make a difference to me. That leaves me with one person whose sexuality and gender I’m invested in - and I’ve been married to him for twenty years. And I really don’t expect what body parts you have or who you have sex with to come up in casual real life conversations (the internet is a whole different beast).
On a political level, its more complex.
Really? Sex is one of the top three topics of conversations I have, the other two being art and politics and the fourth being that-asshole-I-had-to-deal-with-at-work. I think it’s fun and fascinating to talk about sex, sexuality, and even gender.
Sexuality is a choice. Whether the object of desire is men, women, hermaphrodites, animals or a garden gnome.
It depends on your definition of “sexuality”. If you define it by something you do, or how you label yourself, then yes it is a choice, if you define it as something you are, a feeling that you have, then it is not a choice. I choose to label myself as bisexual. I choose to felate the occasional penis, but I didn’t choose to be turned on by the idea of felating the occasional penis.
Acting on attraction is, but attraction isn’t.
So, you don’t think situational sexuality exists?
If someone wants to define their own sexuality as situational, or change their label based on their situation, or continue to call themselves straight regardless of all the gay sex they’ve been having on the side, I don’t see what effect my or someone else’s belief in situational sexuality would have.
I think there’s a difference between “think of the Empire” and “I wanna hit that.” Situational sexuality which takes what’s available because there’s no other option isn’t a matter of orientation but of desperation.
ETA: and that refers as much to the often-mentioned jail situations as to people married to someone they don’t find attractive at all.
This. I have never been “intolerated, unaccepted and excluded because I’m a Christian” even though I can be pretty loud and proud about it.
But those supposed Christians who use Jesus as an excuse to make the lives of other people more difficult and painful for no good reason are likely to be “intolerated, unaccepted and excluded” because of that, not because of being Christian.
One more about sexuality choice:
As I said above, the choice argument generally breaks down to those that believe sexuality is something you DO versus those that believe it is something you ARE. You choose to perform homosexual acts, you don’t choose same sex attraction. Gore Vidal said that there are no homosexual people, just homosexual acts, and defined himself as a homosexualist, which I find amusing and ridiculous.
Those that believe sexuality in general, and homosexuality in particular is a choice most often imply that because it’s a choice, one should choose not to do it. As a bisexual, I’m pretty open to the idea of sexuality as a label or an act being a choice, but as long as everyone is a consenting adult, I believe in the right of every individual to make that choice. And that includes closet cases that want to subvert their unchosen preference for their chosen religious beliefs. Don’t try and force that generally bad idea on other people, especially on children, but if it makes you happy to pretend to be straight, or to label yourself as straight even though you do stuff on the DL in airport bathrooms, I’m totally fine with that decision, and I think everyone else, with the exception of people that have to clean said bathrooms, should be cool with it too.