Me, too, on both counts.
I missed the part in between “Zach is dead, identify body” and “Zach isn’t dead, you have a son, how great!”
How is Zach not dead? What happened there? I had to pee… 
Even if we go with the theory that she photoshopped the test to look like it was on John, can you do a paternity test on a one month old fetus?
Anyway, that is a minor detail, but I always get hung up on the minor details.
And:
Susan and Mike went to the morg to ID Zach’s body, but it wasn’t Zach. Mike explained to Susan that Zach is his son. Susan freaked out and took a cab home. Then you saw what happened next.
Actually, Susan figured it out after seeing Mike’s reaction to not-Zach in the morgue. Perhaps the only thing Susan’s ever twigged to all on her own.
As for the timing of the paternity test, I found a site (commercial, so no link) which indicates that testing can be done on a sample of the woman’s blood alone at 13 weeks. So the show’s stretching the point by a couple of months, but that doesn’t really bother me.
Where’s Paul, by the way? Last we saw of him he was digging his own grave in the desert. The assumption is that Mike let him scurry off into the night but do we know for sure?
Good show, a little bit slow for a premiere…but maybe I just enjoyed it less because I had to watch it in Spanish.
Anyone know why the New York ABC affiliate (Channel 7) shows DH in Spanish? All the commercials and the show that came on after were in English. Mr. Frail has a theory that once a show goes that far into melodrama, it becomes a telenovela and automatically reverts to Spanish. 
I watched the English captions…but I don’t want to do that every week…!
Wha? I didn’t see that. Oh no. I missed part of it. Noooooo.
I watched the pilot of “Desperate Housewives” last year, and liked it a lot. However, I never watched it again – didn’t want to tie up another hour of my week, and somehow it felt like I’d gotten everything I could get from the show, and watching more would just be repeating the experience. Have I been cheating myself?
Wow! That is Paige! Also, according to IMDB she was the voice of Lana Lang in the animated Superman show. I can totally hear it now.
I love IMDB.
I think the person locked in the basement is the Alfre’s husband (sorry, can’t remember her character’s name) but my question is, Is he insane or is she punishing him? The vibe I got (buying the house sight unseen, not letting anyone in) leads me to believe she was running from an abusive husband, but I don’t know why she would keep her husband locked in the basement if he were mentally ill. This isn’t Jane Eyre, people don’t do that anymore.
Also, maybe it was just me, but they cut a couple of times between Boss Man staring intently at the baby’s diaper while it was being changed. I may be reading too much into that, but maybe they were setting up some sort of pedophilia accusation in the future? Or maybe it’s just a fetish with poop. Who knows?
And dammit, Rex is dead. Poo.
So true. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but what I got from that scene was that Currie Graham’s character got a kick out of what Lynnette did. I think he knew Boobs didn’t want to hire her. Sets up a nice conflict.
I haven’t much liked Lynnette’s story lines so far, but this season looks better for her. You know Boobs is going to get jealous.
i think the person in the basement is Zach…
Are we supposed to believe that having a paternity test is so common that the one woman in the waiting room at the OB’s office when Gabrielle is there just happens to have a paternity test in her hand? Come on, that’s a bit hard to swallow.
Loved Bree at the funeral. That’s exactly what the perfectionist Bree would do. However, isn’t it usually the wife who picks out what her late husband wears for eternity? Who the hell picked out that orange tie in the first place?
I’m so bummed. Our flight back to Houston didn’t land until 8:30. It didn’t matter that it was 30 minutes late, though. We had unplugged the TV and the cable/DVR box to prevent power surges in case Rita hit us. And it still didn’t matter, because there was a cable outage.
Crap. Can someone type up a summary?
Rex’s mother. Those were his prep school colors.
Ditto. I don’t know why though.
When Alfre’s son said his father was dead, she told him something like it was a morbid thing to say, all things considered. So I think we were supposed to conclude that it was her husband in the basement.
With the original mystery of what happened with Mary Alice solved, the producers are trying to hook the viewers with this new mystery.
Yes, Bree did pick out what he was wearing originally. When she saw him in the chapel in that tie, she said to her mother-in-law, something to the effect of, “I just saw him 15 minutes ago and he was wearing Ralph Lauren. What did you do?!” and the MIL replied that she thought Rex would’ve wanted to be in that tie because he loved that prep school. So obviously there was a private family viewing before the service and sometime in between the MIL switched the tie. I’d’ve switched it back, too.
I thought Lynnette’s daughter was named Daisy last season.?
Bree – butted heads with Rex’s mother (played by Shirley Knight) who made some cutting remarks about Rex’s miserable marriage. She wanted Rex buried in his old school tie, an ugly orange thing. Bree said no. When the casket was opened at the funeral, Rex was wearing the orange tie. Bree asked Lynnette’s husband for his tie, then marched up to the casket, raised Rex’s body (there was an odd creaking noise), and put the tie on the body.
Lynnette – had to take baby Penny to a job interview because her husband had hurt his back. She left Penny with a receptionist, but when the receptionist left Penny laying unattended on his desk, Lynnette had to rescue her. It looked like she wouldn’t be getting the job, until she said “Let me show you how I multi-task”, whereupon she told her prospective employers what they needed to do to be competitive while changing Penny’s diaper.
Gabrielle – faked a DNA test to show that her hubby was the baby’s father, and then kicked John out of her house. John had come over with a duffel bag, like he planned on moving in while hubby’s in jail. Looks like John figures the marriage is over.
Susan and Mike – Mike came home (without Paul), Zach was getting ready to shoot him but Susan rushed him and Zach dropped the gun. Susan grabbed the gun but the dog grabbed her pants leg and she fell down, the gun went off (bullet hit a whisky bottle in the hands of another neighbor across the street) and Zach rushed out of the house.
Susan ended up in the hospital – I’m not sure why, because it looked like all she had was a fat lip. While at the hospital, Mike got a call from a cop saying that they’d found a body (a suicide) and it might be Zach, and since Zach’s dad was nowhere to be found, could Mike ID the body. The body wasn’t Zach, but Mike’s strong reaction to Zach’s possible death clued Susan in that there was more to Mike’s story.
Mike told Susan about Mary Alice “kidnapping” Zach and later killing Deirdre. Susan figured out that Mike was Zach’s father. She broke up with Mike, because she knows she and her daughter can’t live in the same house with Zach, and Mike is going to want to be a father to Zach. (Seems like she’s assuming a lot there.)
The new neighbors are keeping someone captive in their basement but they’re treating him very well. All we saw was the captive’s hand. Looked to me like an adult, African-American hand (not Zach).
We don’t know where Zach’s dad is (is his name Paul?).
A few people I talked to yesterday theorized that Alfre and her son are having a special. . . uh, relationship of their own. They drew this from when she came up behind him and was rubbing on his chest. Who knows? Wisteria Lane could use some inscest.
Even though the dialogue suggested they are mother and son I’m not convinced. Maybe she’s his stepmother?
The business between Susan and Mike made me feel deja vu. It so reminds me of the difficult dynamic in Lois and Clark.
Bree was perfect. Her reaction at the funeral was completely in character, and it’s funny how Eva Longoria (I can’t remember her character’s name) is so nice and caring toward her friends and such a bitch to her husband.
Gabrielle.
Except on Wisteria Lane.
Nah, he was just fascinated with the process. He’d probably never seen a diaper being changed before.
Responding to a comment farther upstream, but unless the advertising world is radically different than all other business environments, such as those where I’ve worked: no, nobody dresses like Cleavage Lady.
Didn’t Lynette have a friend/former boss, who was dying to get her back to work? What happened to her? (But then, continuity is not this show’s strong suit).