The delivery guy from - well, it’s the company Tom Hanks made a commercial for disguised as a movie. Sounds like Fed-Ex. Just like it.
Anyway, with the whole “you can’t take anything pointy with you on the plane” response to terrorism that will keep us all safe, I’m now in the habit of Fed-Exing anything pointy to myself when I don’t want to check my luggage.
So I did the same from a lovely city I had business in. Actually, the nice people at the hotel did it for me. They used my address as the “from” address, and the same address as the “to” address. You may just see this one coming.
After a week, package had not yet showed up at the Isosleepy residence (such as it is, it’s actually a shit-hole disguised as living quarters, but that’s for some other time).
And I have to give the company that isn’t DHL, UPS or Airborne Express (it’s actually Fed-Ex) this: they do tend to show up on time.
So I call the reasonably efficient folk at the company that is now also proud owner of a copy shop manned by surly teenagers so excellently parodied by Dave Chapelle. (don’t look it up, it’s Fed-Ex). I’m told that my package resides in a “Blue Bin” (until then, I’d never heard someone capitalize over the phone, but it was clear that this wasn’t merely a blue bin, but an honest-to-goodness Blue Bin). The importance of this escaped me, but that the package was doing me no good in whatever fucking container was chosen as its possible final resting place was pretty damn obvious to me. But I was curious: how did my lovely package end up in the Blue fucking Bin, without any efforts to get it to go somewhere else apparently being so much as contemplated?
Like so: Delivery man delivers package, leaves it leaning against my door. He now sees a Fed-Ex envelope leaning against the door, and picks it up. Notices the “from” address matches the address of the door against which it had previously (however briefly) been leaning - and decides it must be an outgoing item. THE SAME DAMN ENVELOPE HE HAD IN HIS HANDS NOT 10 SECONDS EARLIER! So, of course, he takes it to the distribution center. Apparently at the center my package encountered no IQ above room temperature (In Centigrade) either. - Hence consignment to Blue Bin purgatory.
After asking very nicely, they consented to re-deliver. They got a little huffy when I asked them to please leave it there. Now I wonder what else is in the Blue Bin…
(Oh, and to answer one possible question: yes, I signed the release signature, they truly took it back because they thought it was outgoing post.)
Anyway. At leat they’re not out there controlling air traffic.