This just boggles me brane.
Names changed to protect the unusual.
Maureen and Edwina have been dating for more than ten years. Eleven, I think. Maureen self-identifies as a heterosexual, and someday hopes to marry a nice man. She came close once, in fact. She had her sites seriously set on a guy who was housesitting for her father. Nice man. Seminary material. Who took his celibacy very seriously.
Maureen hopes to know the carnal pleasures of a man someday, but it hasn’t happened yet. She has, on occasion, taken pleasure from a woman or two. But not Edwina.
Edwina is a heterosexual as well. Except that she really has no taste for men at all. She has an deeper affinity for the curves of women. But that’s a sin. The Pope frowns on women lying with women. So, Edwina is a sexually hungry woman who has never known, in the Biblical sense, a man. Nor a woman. I’m taking bets on whether she’s ever known the pleasures of her own fingers.
Eleven years, folks.
A few years back, Edwina moved in with Maureen. It’s a serious friendship, complete with love and hand holding and lip-kissing, but absolutely no sinfulness.
Maureen dabbles in the creative arts. She has taken on a number of teachers over the years. She seems to get very attached to some of them. One, let’s call her Reba, was so enchanting that Maureen built a shrine to her, and gave up her beloved Catholicism for Reba’s Eastern religion. This shrine, by the way, was in the home that Edwina shares.
After Reba left the arts and joined an Eastern nunnery, Maureen attached herself to another teacher. And built another shrine. In the house that Edwina shares. This teacher convinced Maureen to accompany her (the teacher’s) father on a quest of mercy to a third world country, to distribute various health care products. Let’s call the father Kraig. Let’s call the health care products not-condoms.
At long last, Maureen is in love with another man. And Kraig is in love with her. Of course, they have not yet had connubial relations, as Maureen is waiting for him to divorce his wife. Which will happen, you see, as his wife is a complete bitch who hates him, but not because he has ever cheated on her. No, he would never leave her for one of his many younger and prettier female friends. But he’ll leave her for Maureen. He promises.
And Edwina sits on the sidelines, waiting to see what’s going to happen.
What’s funny about all this is thast my girlfriend wonders why I’ve never hit on Maureen. Gee, ya think she’s begging for my hot pink steel? Ya think I might leave you for a confused woman who will, at any time, throw me over for a completely celibate dyke?
It’s OK, though. Young women are sometimes confused, and like to experiment. Except they don’t. And Maureen, the jailbait in this relationship, turns 50 tomorrow.
This just boggles me brane.
