And verily, there was much rejoicing throughout the land! 
:crickets chirping:
Seriously though folks, I’m finally back home after nearly a month on honeymoon in the US with my lovely new wife. 
We had 4 days in San Francisco to start off with, and made the obligatory visits to Alcatraz (fascinating place!), the Golden Gate Bridge (great views, but how about a safety railing, guys?) Chinatown (insert sound of a Gong being rung) and Fisherman’s Wharf (Mmmm, Clam Chowder…) I did get the overwhelming impression San Francisco is one of those places that you really need to know someone who lives there so you can get the most out of it, though.
We went to Las Vegas for 9 days after that, which was great. I do like Las Vegas, not least of all because I found a shooting range that rents Machine Guns, allowing me to spend an extremely enjoyable morning blowing away paper targets with a Tommy Gun, an AK-47, and a Minimi. Seeing as the Grand Canyon was so close, we made a point of visiting that, too. I’ve always said that the Grand Canyon is one of those Famous Things that really is as impressive in real life as it is in photos, and my wife agreed completely. In fact, when I look at the photos of it now, they don’t even come close to capturing the majesty and sheer size of it all.
The shows in Vegas are great, too- my wife and I went to see Spamalot (starring Mr. Peterman- err, John O’Hurley- as King Arthur), Penn & Teller (who do an incredible show), Phantom of the Opera (which I hated, even though it was masterfully performed), and the Cirque du Soleil’s outstanding Love, which is the most incredible show I have ever seen and just so incredibly amazing I think I’m just going to avoid Musical Theatre from here on in because nothing I’m ever likely to see will even come close to being as good as Love.
Oh yes, and I spent 5 hours straight at the Tropicana playing Blackjack, and only lost $50, and we spent days just wandering up and down The Strip, taking in the sights and going into all the Casinos. In short, we had a great time in Las Vegas.
By the time we got to LA for the last week of our holiday, we were a bit short on cash- and thus spent most of the week at Disneyland. I like Disneyland- despite what anyone says, I’ve only ever had a wonderful time at the park. In fact, when my boss messaged me today (“You are coming back to work at some point, right?”) I told him to consider himself lucky I haven’t managed to get a Green Card yet, because otherwise I’d be working as a skipper on the Jungle Cruise in Adventureland, firing revolvers at animatronic hippos.
Alas, I have to go back to work on Friday- with the consolation that I can start saving up for another trip somewhere nice. My wife has never been to London, so I’m thinking that’s a situation that needs rectifying sometime in the nearish future… 