One night I was awoke by my dog barking madly at the garage door. I had had problems with raccoons digging in my garbage, so I grabbed a pellet gun and flashlight and headed in.
We start poking around the inside of the garage and I can distinctly hear scratching from behind an old bookcase. I poke the flashlight in the space between the bookcase and the wall and see something furry and brown, smaller than a raccoon but bigger than a mouse. “Yikes! A rat!” I think (I’m not a big fan of rats).
At the same time my dog (a really big golden retriever) has gone around to the other side if the bookcase and gives a loud bark. The furry horror turns in my direction, leaps RIGHT at my head. I make a noise (something like “GUHHEAH!!”) and flail my arms around spastically. I drop the flashlight, which rolls under the car. The pellet gun goes off and hits the fluresent light above me. I’m showered with glass and white dust.
So, I’m stuck in the dark with a neurotic dog and this THING and theres NO FUCKING WAY I’m gonna’ put my exposed hand under the car to fish out the flashlight. I hear the think skittering aound in the broken glass so I say “fuck it” and blindly move twards where I think the door is, and manage to get the car antenna right in the face (it rebounds, repeatedly hitting me in the nose in Three Stooges fashion). Finally I hit the garage door opener button, and a fuzzy squirrel shoots over my bare feet (another “Guhheah!” noise) and out the door, closely followed by my dog.
