I’m wondering if animals are used in any country’s space programs any more, especially in the ways monkeys and dogs were used during launch and orbit tests by the US and the USSR in the 1950s and 1960s.
Well, our four cats have their own space program, which is to sprawl out over and occupy as much space as possible, on top of our bed every night.
What?
Large mammals like dogs and monkeys were used primarily to determine whether it was safe to launch humans (who are also large mammals). That’s been pretty well established now, though. Animals still sometimes go up on manned missions, with the human astronauts making observations and performing experiments, but it’s mostly small animals like insects and mice, because it’s expensive to lift weight up into space.
Imagine that, there is a very extensive Wikipedia page on this subject, scroll to the bottom to see the recent animals that have been blasted into space. Most notably, roundworms aboard the Columbia survived to be found in the wreckage.
The article fails to mention the fact that the Chinese launched some animals (monkey, dog, rabbit, et. al.) in a test flight of their Shenzhou spacecraft in 2001 before they sent their first taikonaut up.
I’m simply amazed at the amount of misinformation that exists concerning early space flight history. Let me enlighten you befuddled Dopers with my historically authentic perspective:
*“I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the earth. “*President John F. Kennedy, May 25, 1961
Great words from a great leader to arouse a great nation toward a great deed. A White House speechwriter, of course, wrote the speech. The writer, in this case, was inspired to draft the “man in the moon” speech when he overheard the President tell his brother, RFK, “*Bobby, I want to shoot a man into space and park him on the moon, before the Russians do.” * At least that’s what he *thought * he heard. In reality, the hearing impaired, and somewhat dyslexic wordsmith misheard the President say, *"Bobby, I want to shoot my moon at that guy who stole my parking space—oh, and get me some Prussian Stew.” *
That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind
Those famous words don’t make much sense, do they? Man v. Mankind—kind of redundant, don’t you think; don’t you think it’s kind of redundant? It’s not likely that a great man, like Armstrong, would utter a major flub like that on a momentous occasion. Indeed, those words were never really spoken. Blame it on a faulty radio and a merciful attempt by Walter Cronkite to cover up an embarrassing slip. When, Louie Armstrong was descending the stairs to the moon for the very first time, he tripped and landed butt first on the video camera. What he really said next was:
Rat’s!–one fall on m’can, ya’ll get a giant peep of m’behind! Then he looked up at the blue orb suspended in space and sang What a Wonderful World. Touching moments like that don’t come around too often.
Other manned lunar landings followed. Unparalleled scientific experimentation ensued, benefiting all of mankind: playing golf in spacesuits, bouncing up and down, drinking Tang while buzzing around in lunar dune buggies—these experiments lead directly to our present understanding of String Theory and Intelligent Design Theory.
Of course, the space race began long before we put a man on the moon. It began with *animals in space * (not to be confused with Snakes on a Plane). For many years, the Soviets were rabidly jealous of America’s true celluloid heros: Rin-Tin-Tin, Frances the Talking Mule and the valiant Lassie. In fact, every time the propaganda documentary, Lassie Come Home, was shown on Russian television, Soviet consumption of Vodka skyrocketed. Our Iron Curtain opponents put a *dog in this show * (so to speak), on November 3rd, 1957. On this date, they launched a dog, named *Laika * into space aboard Sputnik 2. Sadly, due to unforeseen, technical difficulties (rumor has it they filled the pooch’s breathing tank with 100% helium, instead of the somewhat healthier gas, oxygen), this momentous Soviet space voyage turned out to be a one-way trip. The Russian Space Agency named this significant mission, Laika Come Home—Nyet! (aka: The Bitch Ain’t Back).
The Soviet-American astro-animal race commenced *tit for tat * from that point on. They launched a dog, we launched a cat; they launched a bear, we launched a Bald Eagle; they launched Beluga Caviar; we launched Pickled Herring. It escalated to sending animals up two at a time. Tit for tat. For every pair of tats that they sent up, we would send up a bigger pair of tits (if my
[del]mammary[/del] memory serves me well, I recall both sides looking like boobs trying to keep abreast in going-for-the-jugsular situation).
The animal race to space ended abruptly and definitively when America played its ace in the hole. A collective and heavily Russian-accented *NO MAS, NO MAS * could be heard around the world when we threatened to launch Michael Jackson’s chimp, Bubbles into Soviet air space. They reasoned correctly that if Bubbles crashed landed onto Mother Russia, Jacko would come looking for him. :eek:
Something’s wrong with me. In my head, I heard this said with Groundkeeper Willie’s voice.
That’s brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I stand in awe.
Oddly, I have Groundskeeper Willie’s voice in my head, too—constantly. Well, unless I wear my tin foil hat.
I received a very promising investment opportunity proposal by e-mail recently that I’m going to act upon. The price is rather exorbitant (it will necessitate my taking a second mortgage, depleting my daughters college fund and pulling the plug early on my ailing mother), but I’ve been assured that the payoff will be undeniably forthcoming and huge. Altruistic person that I am, I’m willing to extend my good fortune to any fellow Doper who wishes to co-invest with me (I accept cashiers checks and large laundered bills). I won’t bore you with the details, but it involves terraforming the moon and raising alpacas. Stick with me and live large, my friends. Contact me at 555-PUTZ.
One of my High School teachers worked for NASA on the Mercury capsule. They use a pig to test the acceleration couch. They dropped him in it from a crane into water.
Sank like a rock, but the pig survived to be barbecued by the designers.