Mentally calling someone a nigger doesn’t somehow make you better than if you say it out loud. The word that fits is “racism.”
And no, I don’t walk around thinking people are niggers. I recognize that racists think they are just saying and thinking what everyone else is thinking, but no. You’re only speaking for yourself.
I’m confused- what exactly is the characteristics of a “n***er” that the two people you know fit? How about a Shylock- know any people who that slur would fit as well?
Yes, we think horrible things about other people all the time. If you’re me, this is especially true while driving.
But…an individual annoys you, so it “fits” to denigrate an entire race/ethnicity, rather than just judging the individual? What kind of bullshit logic is that? Do you sincerely believe “most of us” think that way?
I object to the first line in the Op. I think it does make her better than saying it out loud. It shows some restraint and attempt to overcome her racism at least. Perfect, hell no, but better, yes.
Not when she is explicitly unapologetic about it. The only restraint is she knows people would be offended. She doesn’t seem to think there is anything wrong, or uncommon, about calling someone a n***er in her head. If someone I interacted with me and thought I demonstrated the characteristics of a kike, and called me in that in her head, I wouldn’t be impressed by the restraint it took to not insult me to my face, or to someone else.
It may be better, but I don’t think it’s an attempt to overcome her racism. Based on her own statements about it, it sounds more like an attempt to keep people around her from being aware of her racism. Not really the same thing.
Having grown up with an Uncle that was extremely openly racist nearly all the time, I would say restraint is a significant improvement. What came out his mouth was cringe-worthy and terrible. I would say just showing the restraint is indeed an attempt to overcome inner demons.
That’s what it sounds like. It means they’re not the ‘good kind’. Unfortunately, actually fortunately, I can’t tell you exactly what that’s supposed to mean.
You don’t know that’s her mindset. She’s welcome to come in and explain, but it is equally likely (if not more so given her unapologetic attitude) that she doesn’t want to catch grief from the “PC police” or such.
The fact she thinks this is common behavior suggests no remorse or demon struggling.
I would never say that word about a group of individuals. I’m talking about two very specific people who are just horrible, horrible people. Total stereotypes. And I don’t use it about them.
BUT everyone who knows this couple agrees with me that this is what they are.
Racial slurs aren’t about denigrating “horrible” people. We have plenty of words for that, like, for example, “horrible person.” Racial slurs–or this one at least–are about denigrating groups of people, in order to justify and exercise power over them. The word that appears in your mind is a racial slur, and not some individualized insult, because of your racism. Whether you realize it or not, it is a virtual certainly that your racism manifests in other ways in your life.
I can think of a lot of good adjectives for “horrible, horrible people” that don’t involve racial slurs. I don’t think I’m any kind of saint, but I don’t think I’ve ever even mentally used a racial slur in connection to people who are horrible. Don’t you run into horrible people from all ethnic and racial groups?
Of course I don’t know your Uncle, but I would bet a small amount that if he was in a situation where saying racial slurs would have serious consequences–like losing a job or getting booted from a social group important to him–he would immediately practice restraint.
Interesting thought. I will say that these two people are the only ones I ever think that word about, but maybe I am using it incorrectly. And I’m sure we’ve all heard inappropriate thoughts about people acting like stereotypes in our life.
Remember, I grew up in a time and place (New England in the 1950’s - 1960’s) where that word, while not considered “nice” was used. Long before people vs. Simpson.
The fact that your upbringing made this language seem normal and acceptable to you is all the more reason that you should think you probably have all kinds of racist baggage. If you’re not doing anything to struggle to reduce your racism, it’s never too late to start.