Annoying Car Ads And More...

The BBQ Pit
21

they have been playing the hell out of an ad for a jewelry store near aurora. the name of this outfit?
jarred (sp?don’t give a fuck) their prices are lower than ever! in the background the saxophone is played in shrill tones. the vapid, screechy bawling of their jingle bitches, “thats jared” “it can only be jarred!!!” i swear it is played every 10 minutes, i am waiting for the music to shatter my window panes.

their vocalist (if it can be called such) is a goAt felching, skidmarkqueen of skanks, lice and flea ridden assgobbling-gutter-whore, pusdrippping shiteater, with absolutely no brain!!!
i want to take a gun or a fire axe to my stereo when i hear it. i cannot stand it.

22

I hate this commercial!!! I also hate the other Herbal Essences ad with the woman who washes her hair in the airplane bathroom, making orgasmic noises the whole time. Eh. Like you could really wash your hair in an airplane bathroom! :slight_smile:

my current favorite commercial is the one with Tiger Woods competing at various Olympic events, each time being denied by the judges, but then drives up in a gold buick (yeah, it’s a car commercial) gloating about getting the gold- I like his laugh in this commercial…I think this is the one he filmed in Canada that angered the Screen Actors Guild

23

Dear anya marie, now you know how I feel about the Dodge commercials.

24

I like his laugh, too. It seems very genuine, like he was really having fun.
I also hate the Herbal Essences commercials. I really hate the one where she washes her hair in the desert with her canteen water. They’re just so stupid!

The Jarred chain just opened here in Maryland, and I also hate that commercial. “Vapid” and “screechy” describe it perfectly. When I hear the Jarred ad, I have to change stations.
I still like the Zoom-Zoom Mazda ads, though.

25

Those damn Lexus commercials where they put the Jeep up against the Lexus. Ain’t no vehicle in the world that’s going to ride as smooth off-road as they depict their Lexus doing. Personally, I don’t think a Lexus SUV could make it two feet off the paved road without breaking an axle.

There’s a commercial on the radio that I really hate because it’s so stupid. It’s for Jolly’s Jewelers. The guy starts out talking about the “hearts of fire diamond.” I’m thinking, wow, that must be a new cut or something, wonder what it looks like. Then he starts rambling about how the aforementioned diamonds were “spewed forth from the heart of the volcano.” Spewed forth from the heart of his ass is more of what it sounds like…

26

Jeep’s Phoenix wrote

I didn’t hear that ad, but that is actually a fair description of how diamonds reached the surface of the Earth. Explanation follows…

Occasionally (very occasionally - once every several million years or so), a ‘kimberlite pipe’ will form, caused by a volcanic eruption that is much more violent and deeper-rooted than regular eruptions. In fact, they are so deep-rooted that they bring up material from well within the Earth’s mantle, say 200-500 km down (as opposed to 1/10 of that for regular eruptions). These bits of deep mantle material are called ‘xenoliths’, and often include diamonds within them. [/lecture]

Bill

27

Yeah, but from the tone/word choice of the commercial, it sounded like the whole volcano event had happened just yesterday.

28

Bill, you neglected to mention that these"xenoliths" must undergo a very slow relocation to the surface. There are fields in Africa that are strewn with “diamonds”. Unfortunately, they were ejected rather prematurely and therefore manifest as very nice diamond crystal structures composed entirely of graphite.

Diamonds require a very lengthy period of migration to the surface in order for them to retain their crystallographic properties upon arrival. Anyone who tells you that they are spewed out of volcanoes is more likely spewing bull’s pizzle.

29

Zenster: well, I checked the net for references, and this is what I came up with, in order of increasing detail:

from http://volcano.und.nodak.edu/vwdocs/minerals/diamonds.html

Kimberlite magmas are rich in carbon dioxide and water which brings the magma quickly and violently to the surface.

from http://geology.about.com/science/geology/library/weekly/aa021598.htm

You know that a diamond is a hard, dense form of pure carbon. Physically there is nothing harder, but chemically speaking, diamonds are pretty fragile. More precisely, diamond is a metastable mineral at surface conditions. Experiment shows us that it cannot form except under conditions found hundreds of kilometers deep in the mantle beneath ancient continents. Take them a little above those depths, and diamonds swiftly turn to graphite. At the surface they can endure in our gentle environment, but not anywhere between here and their deep birthplace.

Well, the reason we have diamonds is that they cross that distance quickly, in just a day or so, in very peculiar eruptions. Aside from impacts from outer space, these eruptions are probably the most unexpected occurrences on Earth. Have you seen footage, or just a cartoon, of an oil gusher? That’s how these work. Certain magmas at extreme depths find an opening and rush upward, burrowing through various rocks-including diamond-bearing zones-as they go. Carbon dioxide gas comes out of solution as the magma rises, exactly like soda fizzing, and when the magma finishes puncturing the crust, it explodes into the air at several hundred meters per second.

We’ve never witnessed a “diamond eruption,” although one happened in Antarctica just a hundred thousand years ago or so. Geologically speaking, that’s just last week. But they have been very rare since about a billion years ago.

from http://vishnu.glg.nau.edu/cev/barbara.html

Nature of the erupting magmas: Kimberlite magmas have a relatively rapid journey from the mantle to the surface that allows them to carry, and preserve, large volumes of xenolithic mantle material,
including diamond.

(snip)

During the last ~3 km of its journey to surface, the magma does not rise rapidly, and, prior to final breakthrough, the volatile-rich kimberlite behaves essentially as a closed system.

(snip)

Explosive breakthrough occurs when the volatile pressure exceeds the confining pressure. A crater is excavated.

The last of these goes into much more detail than this, check it out. So to sum up, diamonds are quickly brought up from the mantle to just below the surface, slow down for most of the remaining few km, and finally explosively erupt to the surface.

Bill

30

**

I’m just curious how long the migration through that last few kilometers of crust takes. I just finished a book on the race to synthesize diamonds and I seem to recall that a slow and steady emergence was needed for the diamond structure to arrive intact. Feel free to elaborate.

31

I wish I could, but there is a lot of debate over the precise mechanisms of kimberlite emplacement. No one has seen a kimberlite eruption, and the geologic evidence can be interpreted in several ways. The two main theories are phreatomagmatic emplacement, where the rising kimberlite encounters groundwater in the top km or so and basically causes a huge steam explosion, and plain old magmatic emplacement, where the explosive force is provided by CO2 coming out of solution.

In any case, I can find no hard numbers for the length of time for each stage of final emplacement, other than a time of about one day for the rise from the mantle to just below the surface. I would look further, but I have to go to work soon. :frowning:

Bill

32

I have a particular hatred for those commercials in which admitting that you have a satellite dish instead of AT&T Digital Cable marks you as a brainless idiot who does not deserve to live. Every time they come on, I click away or mute the sound so as to spare myself.

33

Wait a sec - what’s the deal with WATCHING commercials?? Isn’t that the time you go to the bathroom or the refrigerator? Or is it just me?

OK, I’ll admit to have enjoyed certain commercial advertisements, but for the life of me, I can’t think of any off the top of my head. Guess they didn’t succeed in penetrating my tough consumer shell.

My daughter, OTOH, recites ads… methinks she watches too much TV…

34

Family Auto Mart

Local automotive dealer - their commercials and infomercials make most other ones look like high-budget Shakespeare productions. Mostly of a screaming fat guy (the owner) and his family jumping around in front of a blue screen with cheesy backgrounds. (I think he was even wearing a tutu, once.) The cars they attempt to sell are about the same caliber.

[**Groundskeeper Willie ** and Zenster, thanks for the lesson. I hadn’t expected a geology lesson (and an intelligent on at that) in the Pit. A pleasant surprise.]

Let the griping continue…

35

Many of our local used-car and furniture wallopers are guilty of this. And their obnoxious voices can be heard in the can or at the 'fridge.

Kinda makes a case for manditory tracheotomy and labial suturing, not necessarly in that order.

36

Three words: Mel Farr, Superstar!

I don’t know if that makes much sense outside of the Detroit area (I thought he had dealerships across the country), but I’d sooner drive red-hot nails into my eyes than watch another one of these.

37

I agree with Filthy. So many ads these days have some apoplectic ranting lunatic that makes it sound as if your going to get laid / orally gratified / rich / promoted / cosmetically resculpted, if you would just buy their product within the next five minutes.

Can’t we just dangle these bastards from lamp posts all over town to warn aspiring broadcast announcers off from this ghastly habit? More than likely, there’s some niggling amendment in the Constitution prohibiting it.

Drat!

38

One of our local commercials has 3 big guys who laugh like maniacs at the end of their commercial, while flexing their muscles. I can’t tell you what the compan or product is, since I turn it off immediately. Effective advertising, huh?

On the other hand, we have a local septic tank company with a really cute ad/slogan. They have a whole jingle made up around their slogan “We’re number 1 in a number 2 world.” I laughed hysterically the first time I heard it. “When it’s all backed up and it’s starting to stank, call Averette Septic Tank…”

39

The only one good Car ad is,
The five second rule…
Oh and btw, I’d rather push my FORD than drive a dodge…

40

Anyone in the Boston area will know Boston Car Guide Dot Com. That commercial makes my hair curl.
Another local one is for Cardi’s Furniture. How I hate the three grinning Ni-Ro-Pe apes. I wouldn’t buy furinture form them if they were selling it for a dollar. The thing that bugs me the most is that they seem to have a new commercial every week. How can they have the lowest prices around if they make a new commercail every 5 days and then play it every 10 minutes? And, not to mention that they think they’re funny, doing parodies of Survivor, South Park, Titanic, and Men In Black, just to mention a few.
ARG!
Rose