And the winner is…
The Mountain Dew ad where the kid goes 150 mph in his Trans Am and wrecks it simply so that he can get his Dew back.
No, you don’t get to make a speech, just take your “trophy” and get the fuck off stage.
Hmmmm…my mind always goes blank when it comes to thinking up terrible commercials, but I’m pretty damn sure that there are a plethora of commercials MUCH worse than this.
Like that maxipad commercial at the opera house. Eeeehhhhh…
You had me at “maxipad.”
Those Dell computers ads with that stupid stoner kid.
A local Harley-Davidson distributor uses I Like the Bright Lights, I Like the Disco tune in commericals.
Using disco music to sell Hogs, make no sense to me. 
Well that one’s explainable, 5 time champ - they’re trying desperately to gain a new audience. Those aging Hell’s Angels are… well, aging. 
zoom-zoom
Herbal Essences Shampoo/Conditioner and Body Wash.
Hate these commercials. HATE THEM.
Personally I couldn’t stand Jared, the ex-fat guy Subway spokesperson, until they introduced the new Subway spokesperson.
Scene: Man with friends packed into his SUV pulls up to drive through microphone at a fast food restaurant
Blonde Jerk: Yeah I’ll take the turkey and bacon sandwich with dijon mustard.
Stereotyped Pimple-faced Teen: Uhhh, that’s not on our menu.
Blonde Jerk: Haha yeah, it’s not even on your radar!
Stereotyped Pimple-faced Teen: (Looking around) We have radar?
Blonde Jerk + Friends: HAHAHA
Bring back Jared!
zoom zoom zoom
zoom zoom zoom zoom
zoom zoom zoom zoom
yeah zoom zoom zoom zoom!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Oh yeah!
UPS is…BROWN!
What were they thinking?!
There is a commercial around here for a phone service which asks, “What if using everything around your home was like your current phone service?”
They proceed to show a family putting quarters in a slot for everyday things like a toaster, the sprinkler, TV, microwave, etc. just like they are doing with their phone.
Electricity and water are free? Newsflash peabrains, we DO pay for all those things, just at the end of the month LIKE OUR PHONES.
Unless these commercials were aimed at those of us who have payphones in our homes. Or live at the Y.
My vote is definitely for that Listerine commercial; I will now re-post my rant from the pit in the ‘mini-rant’ section, appropriately edited for the Cafe.
To the enthusiastic mouthwash using man in that ****ing commercial: OHhhhhhhh, you’re so excited to be using mouthwash aren’t you? Oh, look! You’re rolling your eyes up in heavenly bliss, joyously swishing away while staring right ****ing at me! What’s this? You’re winking at me! Well eat the ****ing peanuts out of my ****, you must be having one ****ing good time swishing whatever the **** it is around in your mouth, aren’t you, bookie? Look at you now, you ****wit mouthwash thespian, you’re giddy from mother ******* yellow dye number five, swaying your spikey haired neck cork back and forth… oh wait, you’ve winked at me again! Smack the **** **** out of my pie hole, I’m one *** ****** lucky son of a ***** to have a coy little mouthwash swigging *** *** making a knowing wink at me! I’d rather listen to the ****ing tin woodsman fall down a ****ing flight of stairs at the mother ****ing Sears tower than see this **** beard swishing joyously in my face one more ****ing time!
(pulls off own head)
Here in Denmark some companies apparently don’t think it’s worth it to film a new commercial when they need one for our market, so they take the (usually) german original and very badly dub danish voices over it. I hate 'em all - I get upset even thinking about them.
I think the Milk commercial where the knappy headed kid is outside the convenience store. You know which one? He’s out front with a quart of milk and a bottle of chocolate syrup, ahem, gargling the two together in his mouth. Two points on this one. First gargling milk is just disgusting. Second I want to say “hey moron, it would be a helluva lot easier to just squeeze some of your chocolate syrup into the bottle and shake it up, you jack-ass”
But then again the commercial does make an impression, but a rather unfavorable one.
Out here on the left coast, we have a burger joint called Carls’ Jr. Last year they were promoting their Spicy Chicken Sandwich by showing a guy downing a bottle of hot sauce after eating said sandwich in order to cool down. They went one better this year promoting their grilled onion bacon burger. They have this young dark haired guy walking through a store (supermarket or larger pharmacy) while eating the rather pungent burger. He stops at the mouthwash section, picks up a bottle and drinks it down. He then lets out some kind of a whoop and sports a shit eating grin. I immediately balked at the commercial saying, “You can’t show someone drinking mouthwash on TV!” Apparently I was right, as they have edited the commercial to now show him just swishing the mouthwash in his mouth, with no swallow (or spit for that matter).
I just saw another one last night.
It’s for a wireless company. Some jackass is walking around with a cell phone saying “Can you hear me now?”
AUGH!
The thing is, with that “Can you hear me now” commerical, I don’t even know which wireless service they are advertising!
In the UK, a car ad is currently running for Renault cars which asks “what is: va va voom?”, implying that the Renault cars “have it”, but it is hard to say what the “it” is!. The advert “stars” Thierry Henry, a soccer player with Arsenal FC of the UK Premier League. It is such a “dumb” advert, that it has the effect of putting you right off Renault cars entirely - or that is what it has done for me!
Cingular is the “Can you hear me now” spot.
I have to second the Herbal Essence shampoo commercials. Fake orgasms during the dinner hour are not something I want my children to see. Oh, and the one in the office where the co-worker asks, “You’ve never had an organic experience?” Just yuck yuck yuck.