Ha! I had visiting Korean physicist camped out in my office for three months earlier this year. His English skills were quite limited, but he insisted on answering the phone. I let him, withthe result that I didn’t have to return any calls for the whole time! It was beautiful: if you don’t want to take calls, have a non english-speaker answer your phone. I highly recommend it.
Since we’re now talking about stupid sales calls, I’ll tell you a tale from when I was the front line on the phones.
I used to work at a gym, and for a while I worked the front desk. One of my jobs was to screen all the calls for the owner and the general manager. One day I got a call that went like this:
Clueless Salesperson: Hello, may I speak to Mr. GM?
Me: I’m sorry, but he’s not available right now. May I help you with something.
CS: Yes, you may. My name is Clueless Salesperson, and I work for Random Cellphone Company. I’m calling because I saw your company listed in the Yellow Pages and wanted to talk to Mr. GM about a business cellphone plan for your employees.
Me: Um…you’re aware this is a gym, right? What use would we have for cellphones?
CS: You’d be amazed at how useful they are and…
Me: You’re calling us because we’re in the Yellow Pages?
CS: (Beginning to sound nervous) Yes.
Me: So basically you’re cold calling the phonebook?
CS: I’ll call back another time.
Another clue for salespeople: Never ever admit to cold calling from the phone book, especially not in your opening speal.
[QUOTE=Obsidian]
Back when I was an admin, I transferred all these guys to the controller, who I hated. So yes, occasionally being rude to the phone-picker-upper will pay off.
Oy vey. That’s where the person gets five minutes of being on-hold, and then I come back and say, “I’m sorry, she’s not available. May I take a message?”
“I’m not sure when she’ll be back in the office, but I can have her call you back then.”
I’ve gotten real good at the idiot-polite repition. For folks that want to leave a long involved message who go faster than I type, they get a laugh and a “Why don’t I just have her call you back?” Most people are disarmed by this and laughingly agree that it’d be better to tell my boss directly than to have it filtered through me pre-conversation.
Daniel
I’m gonna try that next time.
The funniest thing is, it’s always the crappy, low level salespeople who are like this on the phone. Like the ones who’d call and ask for the “Owner or Manager”. Uh, dude, it’s a $100m corporation.
On the flip side, I had a conversation just today that had my current boss in stitches. We are a small company that makes embroidered clothing, and I am the account manager and office Jill-of-All-Trades. There are 5 people in my office. We all answer the phones.
Me: Good morning, Embroidery Shop, this is Obsidian.
Salesman: May I speak with someone in your MIS or IT department.
Me: Hold please.
(Put him on hold, pick it back up)
Me: IT, Obsidian speaking.
Salesman (not getting it): Director of Technology, please.
I hold/pick up again.
Me: Good morning, this is Obsidian.
Salesman launches his pitch, selling some sort of gizmo of some sort. My IT skills are limited to unjamming the copier and calling my boss’s husband for help. My boss is laughing from the doorway. I interrupt him and tell him it might be best to make his pitch directly to the CEO, and sent the call to my boss’s desk. He hung up when she let the voicemail pick up. Maybe he recognized my voice.
Mean? Maybe. I blame this thread.